But then it hit me: I have ‘Feeling Left Out Syndrome.’ So bad.

In fact, since leaving a college atmosphere where every moment of every day was surrounded by activities and play time, I’ve run face-first into a world where I’m constantly digging for things to be involved in. I never feel like I’m doing enough with my free time and always feel the pressure to grab happy hour with girlfriends, dance around the bar every Saturday night, snag coffee with a co-worker…

The constant pressure to do things all the time gets to my head. Like seriously, I get a migraine. Does this happen to anyone else? Does anyone else feel like they need to grasp every opportunity to play the social field and get out there? Maybe I sound like a crazy person, but technology these days is constantly updating me on what everyone else is doing.

Betty is having the time of her life being totally awesome and social at the bar!

Gloria can’t stop thinking about how cute it is to have picnics with her yummy boyfriend!

Julie is getting a puppy because she wants to!

I don’t have a friend named Betty, and I never will, but these constant updates get a little overwhelming sometimes. Especially when my update is “Simply wanting to sit in a room alone.”

So here’s what I propose as a personal goal for myself. This weird pressure coming from outer activities, only ignites from a little flame of insecurity. I need to combat that and become comfortable with doing…nothing. Because most of the time, I’m totally OK with sitting on my couch watching TV and painting my nails with a clever O.P.I. color. I’m not saying I have to completely close out everything that’s going on in my social world, just balance it out so I can find time for myself, and others later. The constant pressure to feel like I need to please others by going out is completely unnecessary. Everyone is still going to love me if I’d rather do my laundry and eat toast all day.

In fact, I think I’m going to drop my phone in the toilet, hide my charger from my computer, throw my TV remote out the window, click my heels (for dramatic affect) and try to live a carefree life that doesn’t feel the pull of outer activities. I don’t always need to be ‘doing.’

I’m not Carrie Bradshaw. I’m a lame person sometimes, and well – that’s OK.

Question for Tuffs?! Email her at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com and by gum get that shiz adDRESSED!!!

Dear Tuffy Luv,

Okay so here’s my problem. I met this really nice guy at the school I just transferred to. I thought things weren’t going to pass a certain point because, one, he’s just a freshman and I’m a junior, and he’s also my little sister’s best friend from high school.

Things were great at first because we have so much in common. I was starting to get really close to him and would spend every day with him and began to develop feelings for him. I invited him out with me and another close friend (we’ll call him Joe) and things were a little weird because my new friend isn’t the most social person.

I have to step back a second because I left out one big piece of information. Both of my friends are bi. Joe came out to me early on in the Fall. The new friend came out to be in late September.

I told my new friend that Joe was bi and he began a friendship with him that is turning into a serious relationship. I was really taken back when I found out and didn’t quite know what to do so I avoided the new friend for a few days while I thought everything through. I figured there’s nothing much to do but be happy for them even though I felt a twinge of betrayal. And I don’t know why, because I know I have no claim to the guy.

I think I was mostly taken back because Joe knew how I felt about my new friend. I thought I could deal with the relationship (mostly because I’m happy my new friend is happy) but it seems all me and Joe do is fight.

They both try not to leave me out and invite me everywhere they go, but I can’t help but feel left out. Especially when there’s some making out going on (and there’s a lot). I usually try to tune them out or simply leave the room.

How can I stop from feeling I have a claim to this guy and make things better with Joe? I’m not quite sure how to make everyone happy and include myself. I’ve gotten to the point where I decline invites because I feel bad about how I feel but end up feeling alone while they’re out.

This is actually the first time I’ve asked for advice because their relationship is still on some serious DL.

–Doubly Alone

Dear Doubly Alone,

Short and sweet (like Tuff): Stop hanging out with them.

Now I don’t mean stop being friends with these guys. You should ABSOLUTELY be friends with them. Girl, you’ve got to get over this idea that somehow these guys have wronged you by becoming romantically entwined. Repeat after me: IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. Get over it.

But in the meantime, yeah, obviously it’s hurting you and you can’t help that. So all’s I’m saying is, stop hanging out with them together. I actually think it’s really sweet that they’re inviting you out with them to try to make you feel included. See? They really do love you.

But they’re also trying to form a real relationship with each other. Stop making it more difficult and start being happy for them. The best way to do this until you’re ACTUALLY over it is to hang out with them one-on-one and not go on their dates with them. Der. Stop being there when they’re making out and you won’t have to watch it.

In the meantime, yeah, I think you should mend your friendship with the Unliked Cousin. It sounds like the only problem between you two is that you’re feeling jealous. So it’s up to you to sit down with this guy and say everything you’re feeling about the whole situation. Yeah, it’ll suck. But it’ll put everything out into the open, and afterward you guys can move on with your lives, friendship intact. Just don’t talk about it in an attacking way–make sure everything you say is honest and that nothing you say is meant specifically to hurt him.

Sounds like you actually have some good friends here. Hope you’re able to get past your jealousy so you can be a good friend back.

Hearts & Skulls,
Tuffy Luv

This is....fun.

You know what it’s like when everyone is talking about last night’s Gossip Girl episode that you didn’t get a chance to watch because you had to study for some dumb Calc final and you’re the only one out of the convo? And while you try to keep from having anything spoiled for you before you get a chance to watch the episode online, everyone else can relate over how crazy it is that a threesome actually occurred and V looked ridiculous in her lingerie and “OMG I can’t believe that happened,” and they’re all bonding over something you weren’t a part of.

Sometimes, hanging out with my couple friends feels like that.

Now understand, I was one half of the same couple for a long three years, so I have a firm grasp on this from the couple perspective. My coupled friends can’t always help talking about their relationships – they are a huge part of their lives, after all. And they’re excited and happy and in love and they just want to share that with their BFFs. And when we go out and they do coupley things, they aren’t doing it to rub their love in our single faces; they just want to hang out with all of us and include everyone, regardless of their Facebook relationship status. I have no doubt that whatever they do is done with the best of intentions.

But now seeing this all from the single perspective, it is so easy to feel left out. Or occasionally grossed out. I mean, come on, some pet names are not meant for other people’s ears. And I don’t need to see you guys suck face while we’re watching a movie in the living room.

This whole thing is only worse during the holidays when even just staying in to watch Christmas movies with your honey sounds romantic. It’s like everywhere I turn there’s love and coupledom being shoved in my face. Maybe I don’t like being reminded that I have yet to find someone that I deem worthy of keeping me warm during the long winter nights, or maybe I’m just jealous, but every once in awhile I am fairly certain that I am allowed to be annoyed when one of the boyfriends crashes a sacred girls’ event.

Not that that happens often…according to the girlfriends. But, trust me, it happens often enough that I end up “going to bed” early (“You know, I got a class early in the morning….”) just to get away from it. I don’t blame my friends and I don’t resent them for it, but no matter how much I love them, sometimes hanging out with my coupled friends doesn’t sound like fun.

Catching up on the latest Gossip Girl, though? Now, that never disappoints.

Being in a relationship in college is not easy. It pretty much goes against the rules of nature. The college gods never wanted their late night cramming, pong tournament winning, vodka guzzling subjects to be holed up in their dorm rooms eating takeout and cuddling with their partner every weekend.

But that didn’t stop anyone, including me. And while all of us coupled peeps absolutely love our boyfriends, we can all admit that we feel pulled in two directions. “Our girls or our boyfriend” becomes a weekly dilemma we have to hash out, mentally listing the pros and cons of which we should pencil in to our planners.

What makes it even harder for me is that my boyfriend doesn’t go to the same school, meaning seeing him is a tad harder then walking across campus to his dorm. It means packing a duffel, getting to a train station, an hour and a half trip, and then doing it all over again Sunday afternoon to be back in time for classes.

So if there are hearts on the agenda for Saturday, chances are I will be missing from all the Facebook photos come Monday morning. There will be a slew of inside jokes that my friends will shout to each other all week, and as they crumble into giggling fits I will stand oblivious…because I was at home sucking face with my boyfriend Saturday night while they were painting the town (Smirnoff) red.

Then again, when I stay at school and devote the weekend to group shots in our pastel-color coded glasses, bathroom photo shoots and dancing to Britney, it never fails that I end up in bed on the phone with my boyfriend at 4 am, the room swirling around me, crying about how much I miss him. (Alcohol makes me overly emotional and overly loving…not a good combo after the girls call it a night and you haven’t seen your boyfriend in weeks).

It seems like there’s no perfect solution. Except when the two worlds collide every now and then. My boyfriend gets along great with my bff’s (thank god!) so when he can take the trip I can combine both worlds: pre-game with the girls (which may or may not include a Miley Cyrus playlist), be a part of all the inappropriate totally embarrassing pictures, then squeeze into my twin bed with my boyfriend (spooning totally makes the spinning room more bearable) and get lucky.

What do you coupled girls think? Do you find it hard to balance the two worlds?

Every. single. time I find myself in a room full of boys, the conversation inevitably turns to threesomes (or farts, but that is a whole different article). From the jokes, “Dude, we can totally eiffel tower her,” to the stories, “And then she asked if she could bring a friend!” guys can’t get the threesome of of their minds.

Being that I have never taken part in one (shocking, I know), I never really understood the appeal. After all, sex with one person is fun enough, and haven’t you always heard the old adage, “three’s a crowd”? Why, then, are guys so completely obsessed with bringing an extra body into an already exciting situation? If it ain’t broke (which I can say sex most definitely is not), why turn it into a threesome?

Our resident boy gives us the lowdown.