OMFG! Did you hear that it’s Girl Scout Cookie season!? Hell yeah! I walked past a table of those delectable little cookies cute little troopers yesterday on my way to class. And let’s just say I enjoyed a few (Ok, an entire box of) Tagalongs during a 2 hour lecture.

I don’t know who came up with these treats, but my hat is off to you!

There is something for everyone – even the health conscious out there. And you don’t even have to feel bad about eating them, because you are doing a good deed just by buying them! There are so many different kinds that I feel bad choosing a favorite (kinda like my parents…who obviously chose me), but I definitely have a soft spot in my heart – and on my ass – for the Peanut Butter Tagalongs. So. effing. good.

Which ones are your favorites?

Grab a checked table cloth or blanket to sit on and save your tush from the summer bugs!

Keep cool. Bring water bottle spray fans if it’s a very hot day out. They keep you cool, refreshed and will even help work on your summer glow!

Hydrate. If you don’t want liquor (although beer and/or wine coolers are a great way to quench your thirst!), here are some drink recipes:

Women Today Magazine suggests these fun drink alternatives:

Ice Pops: In a blender, mix any type of fruit (try peaches, pears, strawberries) and add a table of lemon juice. Pour the mixture into ice cube holders and freeze. Either stick Popsicles in them or serve as ice cubes in water to add some spice to your glass of H20!

If you’re tired of boring ‘ole lemonade, try adding other types of juices to spice it up, such as cranberry, raspberry or grapefruit juice.

If you like some bubble in your juice, add some seltzer or club soda to put some zizzzzz in your juices!!!

Rumble in that Tummy.

As always, roll-ups and sandwiches are easy and cheap, but you may’ve grown out of them after mom packed you one too many lunchbox lunches over the years, so here are some other snack ideas for the summer munchies.

Cucumber minis. Slice cucumbers, spread regular or chive cream cheese on the first layer. Then, take a thin sliver of smoked salmon (aka lox) and top it off with a piece of dill and a caper. Wrap them on a tray in plastic and pack in your basket. They are d-e-l-i-c-i-o-u-s!!!! (not to mention, low fat!)

Bean Salad. A great way to get protein from an unexpected source. Combine chick peas, cannellini beans, red kidney beans, and some diced red onion and then throw on some olive oil and garlic. You’ll get your iron fill, plus your good fat fill (with the yummy olive oil!). Chill before you go and throw in some tupperware and enjoy!

For you meat eaters. Throw some diced skinless chicken, mayo (low fat if you feel like saving the cals!), walnuts, apples (or grapes if you want it a little sweeter) and some dill. Toast some Italian bread and make mini sandwiches for you and your guest!

Well there you have it…some great ways to enjoy a unique summer picnic!!! Pack your bags and make sure you bring that appetite…and let us know if you have any other awesome ideas.

[photo courtesy of hickerphoto.com]

My day started off OK. I woke up in good spirits feeling ready to take on another day without food when I remembered that it was time for my massive morning dosage of salt water. The night before, I had premixed my oral enema and left it next to my bed in the hopes that I would then drink it immediately when I awoke and I would be so out of it that I wouldn’t fully realize what I was doing. And it worked. At least, a third of the way through it, it worked.

After that I was left to choke down the rest, and though it proved to be more effective than yesterday, I came to the conclusion that a belly full of salt water is no way to kick things off. Tomorrow I’ll be entrusting my a.m. colon purge to Chocolate Smooth Moves; because I’m already struggling to find reasons to wake up in the morning without that staring me in the face.

So, after that I got dressed and left my house for a day of work in Brooklyn, armed with 5 servings worth of the lemonade. I got to the studio where I work and took a seat, pounded a lemonade, and started on my usual tasks. Then someone dropped something and I nearly fell out of my chair reaching for it. Then it happened again. Then I spent about five minutes staring at the materials before me, trying to remember what exactly I was supposed to be doing. Then I stood up to walk to the bathroom and was struck by how limp I felt. By 2 p.m. I had finished all of my lemonade and I knew there was no way I’d make it back to my apartment if I stayed until the end of the day, so I ducked out early in an attempt to avoid going into hypoglycemic shock on the train.

By the time I got home, I was starving and very, very irritable. I drank two glasses of lemonade mixed with some digestive supplements I picked up from Whole Foods on the way home (which, I learned from some research online, are a highly recommended addition to the Cleanse) and sat on the couch, trying to rally my energy to make it to the gym.

Eventually I forced myself into my gym clothes and out the door. On the walk to the gym I considered calling people back who had called me during the day, but I realized that I had no desire to make friendly chit chat with anyone. I got to the gym and managed to churn out my entire usual workout, and felt surprisingly chipper when I was done. Endorphins are amazing.

I walked into my apartment to find my roommate and his girlfriend eating homemade burritos and drinking beer. He looked up guiltily and apologized for the food being everywhere, to which I replied, “Dude, don’t worry about it. Just because I’m not eating doesn’t mean no one else can. It’s my choice.”

Which, I guess is the whole point, and the most irritating part of this little endeavor. I could quit, literally, any time. I could have dug into the rice and black beans and veggies on the stove and it would have been over, plain and simple. And I wouldn’t die, and the world wouldn’t end, I would have just given up on a rather unscientific diet developed by a borderline crack-pot with mediocre-at-best writing skills. But for some reason, I keep trying to convince myself to persevere.

Just wait until the first few days are over, then see. Just wait until you run out of syrup and then you can think about stopping. Just aim for a week; sevens days are certainly better than nothing. Even though the Master Cleanse is interfering with my social life and my work and my immediate happiness, I keep holding on, though I can’t pinpoint why. Is it the genuine desire to rid my body of the toxins Stanley Burroughs tells me are lurking in it? Is it the sense of competition – that if others can do it I certainly can? Is it to experience how my body feels after fasting 10 days? Is it to renew my sense of taste and my body’s response to food?

I suppose it’s a mish-mash of all of the above. I just wonder if it’s enough to keep me going until next Friday.

Immediately after guzzling the truly foul concoction, I supposedly had an hour in which I would be pooping my brains out. As I had developed a stomach ache and was kind of hating life, I opted to spend this hour taking a nap, during which I had a dream that I was eating a Subway Veggie Sub, only to realize halfway through that I was supposed to be Master Cleansing and got really pissed at myself. I woke up starving and made myself a lemonade, then promptly fell back asleep. I woke up at 12:15 in the afternoon without having pooped at all, nor having any need to.

Well, at least I drank all that salt water.

The rest of my day was pretty much spent drinking the lemonade and napping or lounging about because I was totally exhausted. The only time I left the house was to go to the gym where I did my normal workout, but took half an hour longer than usual to do it because of all the breathers I had to take. Later I attempted to leave the house to go to a viewing of a film my roommate had worked on, but felt so beat I decided it was a pointless endeavor and watched a while lot of Comedy Central instead.

Throughout the day, my feelings about the Master Cleanse fluctuated wildly. One moment I was thinking that it was insane and there was no way it could possibly be good for me, then I’d remember all the rave reviews I had heard about it from others, then I’d think that food is awesome and not eating is not and I was totally over it, then I’d tell myself to take it one step at a time and I was feeling fine at the moment, wasn’t I? And really, when I thought about it, that was the truth; while I was tired and had moments of extreme hunger (namely while on the treadmill), and wasn’t exactly Miss Social Suzy Sunshine, I didn’t feel all that bad. I was surviving just fine.

Burroughs and the people I talked to who actually did it all report that the first few days of the Cleanse are the worst. Burroughs attributes this to all the toxins being loosened and floating around your body, where as I’m more inclined to think that it’s because you’re used to eating food and when you’re Master Cleansing you’re, uh, not doing that. But I DO have a sore throat…perhaps triggered by evil body-harming toxins that were previously lying dormant in my lymph nodes? Or merely a result of drinking copious amounts of lemon juice and cayenne pepper? Tough call.

For now, I’ve made a deal with myself that I have to tough out at least the first four days, and then see how I’m feeling. Baby steps, yo.

I just hope I poop soon.

Why? I’m not sure. Could be because lemonade is synonomous with skipping around barefoot and not caring about anything except avoiding dog poop on the lawn. Could be because I’m obsessed with sweet and sour things. Could be because running a lemonade stand as a kid was the first time I realized the sweet, green beauty of money. Whatever the case, lemonade rocks my world.

Here’s how to make your own version of this fresh, delicious summer drink!

INGREDIENTS:

1 1/2 cups sugar

1/2 cup boiling water

2 teaspoons grated lemon rind

1 1/2 cups fresh lemon juice

5 cups cold water

Garnish: lemon slices, maraschino cherries

PREPARATION:

Stir together sugar and 1/2 cup boiling water until sugar dissolves.

Stir in lemon rind, lemon juice, and 5 cups cold water. Chill 8 hours. Garnish, if desired.

[Stir in some cold vodka or rum for an extra kick!]