No fear; Olua is here with five of her favorite small-space-safe pets. I have owned or currently own all of these critters, so you’re getting stuff straight from the source here. I’ll lay out the setup, cost, and some of the infinite wisdom I’ve gained dealing with these little critters.

1. Betta (Siamese Fighting Fish): These are probably the most low-maintaince, toughest pets you could ever own, and come in about every gorgeous color of the rainbow. They’re easy to care for; all you need is a tank a MINIMUM of one gallon (contrary to popular belief, bettas don’t like living in small containers and enjoy having space to spread out their fins) and some fish food. I recommend Hikari’s Betta Bio-Gold.

You don’t need a filter, because bettas aren’t crazy about moving water, but you will need to change the water about once a week. Never ever use water straight from the faucet, since it has chlorine and that will give you a very dead fish. Collect water in a gallon bottle and keep open and it to the side, refilling it every time you change the water. A week is enough time for the chlorine to safely evaporate.

Females can be kept together, but males will fight like Britney cornered by paparazzi. Take good care of your fishy and he could be with you from four to five years. Tank and food included, these guys will run you a very affordable $20 – maybe a little more if you want to give them some decorations. BettaTalk is a great site run by an awesome girl who will tell you everything you ever wanted to know about bettas.

2. African Clawed Frog: Still on the aquatic side, these guys are so disgusting and ugly that they’re adorable. Xenopus laevis is their scientific name. They’re frogs that live underwater all the time, but you’re going to want a ten gallon tank for these guys.

Since they’re used so often for lab studies, they’re easy to find and pretty easy to care for. You’ll only be able to fit one female in a ten gallon tank, because they get BIG; I’m talking you probably couldn’t hold a whole female Xenopus in both of your hands. The males CAN live in the same tank together, though, and they ribbit! It sounds kind of like the nose dial-up makes, actually.

You’ll want to change about 70% of their water every week or every other week. They aren’t very pet-able, but they’re a lot of fun to watch. They also don’t really like filtration; in fact, it kind of freaks them out. They can last you about ten to fifteen years. To get a Xenopus, her tank, some food, and a place for her to hide will run you some $40. Here is a great place to get Xenopus and Xenopus products, and this guide will give you Freaky Frog 101.

3. Leopard Gecko: If you’re feeling a little more exotic, how about some out-of-water scales? Leopard Geckos are probably the BEST beginner’s reptile. They’re docile, easy to handle and rarely if ever bite. They run a little more on the expensive side, as you need a minimum of a ten gallon tank, a few decorations for them to climb over and hide under, as well as a heat lamp.

Once again, females can be kept together, but males can not. There’s also the fact that you need to feed them crickets…so if buggies aren’t your deal, just scroll down! These guys can live around ten to fifteen years, so make sure you REALLY want one before you get one. With all their equipment, geckos and their setup will run you around $100. After that, though, cost and care are pretty minimum. Here is an awesome little caresheet for leopard geckos that will tell you just about everything you need to know.

4. Rat: You know it’s the Chinese New Year, don’t you? You know that it’s the year of the Rat, don’t you? Well, why don’t you get one?

Now, don’t hate; rats are probably one of the least understood critters out there. Hands down, rats are my favorite small animal pet. They are FUN and are a lot like small dogs in their demeanor. You’ll want to get a young one, around two to four months of age, that way it will grow up with you. ALWAYS get two or more rats! They’re colony animals and get super depressed if they don’t have chill buddies. If you get two or more males in one cage, make sure they’re litter mates, or they’ll hate each other and you will go through hell trying to reconcile it (I speak from experience).

Females can be in a cage together without much trouble. While males are more cuddly and lazy, females love to play and run around. You can teach these guys tricks, litter train them, get them to come to their name, and all sorts of things. They’re omnivores, so they need a diet just about as varied as yours (minus the fries). A commercial diet supplemented with fruits, veggies, and the occasional chicken bone should suffice. Unfortunately, these guys only live between three to five years. They’re active, so they need big cages (try Dr. Foster and Smith ; expensive as all heck, but worth it). All together, these guys will run you around $120, but I swear to you that they are worth every penny. RattyRat has an amazing guide that will spare no details.

5. Ferret: Seriously, you can’t look at that face and tell me these things are not freaking adorable. If you want to get a feel for what having a ferret is like, imagine a clumsy two-month old kitten, stretch it out, and make it a bit stinkier. That is your average ferret.

I’ve had a single female without any problem, but a lot of people will tell you to get two; it really depends on how much time you want to spend with your little rascal. They need a LOT; a big cage, food (high quality dry cat food works just fine), and quite a bit of time. These guys are right on the border of having a small fairly carefree animal and having a cat or a dog. Ferrets aren’t for everyone, though; check out FerretCentral for any questions you might have about these guys. They will put you in the hole some $200, but they’re an enormous amount of fun.

Whew; that list was longer than I thought it’d be! Here’s hoping, though, that any of my ladies who are in sore need of an animal companion are helped out by this little tidbit. Do your research, make sure you can afford to have something in your life that’s completely dependent on you (aside from your boy/girlfriend). Once you’re 100% certain and no less, go out and get yourself a pet. They are infinitely better roommates than the human you had last semester. You know it’s true.