It’s not easy being gay. In a world where heterosexuality is the norm and homosexuality has often been seen as more than just a religious taboo throughout history—you know, when legitimately recognized at all, that is—the LGBT community has worked tirelessly to declare that sexual preference is not a “preference” at all; instead, the nature vs. nurture arguments now lean more toward a “I’m on the right track, baby, I was born this way” mantra. However, is it necessarily a winner-takes-all conclusion in the homosexuality debate? According to Sex and the City actress Cynthia Nixon, maybe there’s more than one way to be gay. And ton of people are pissed off about it.

I’m pissed off too, to be honest. I’m pissed off at the people who are pissed off about it. In this week’s Hot Button Issue, I invite you to read the following carefully, because a lot of vocal opinions on the Internet are getting it all just a little bit twisted…in my opinion.

Actress Cynthia Nixon, whom we know as Miranda Hobbes on Sex and the City, has always been a peculiar case study for the LGBT community: she was happily in a relationship with a man for 15 years (they even had two kids together), but she’s been dating a woman since 2004. Though her sexual orientation seemed to have made a switch, she has said in the past that she didn’t feel like she was necessarily lying to herself or hiding anything. ”I’d been with men all my life, and I’d never fallen in love with a woman,” she told The Daily Telegraph in 2007. ”But when I did, it didn’t seem so strange. I’m just a woman in love with another woman.”

Many gay activists call her midlife switch in sexual orientation disingenuous, and Nixon chose to defend her relationship by controversially stating that for her, homosexuality is a choice. She explained to the New York Times Magazine:

“I gave a speech recently, an empowerment speech to a gay audience, and it included the line ‘I’ve been straight and I’ve been gay, and gay is better.’ And they tried to get me to change it, because they said it implies that homosexuality can be a choice. And for me, it is a choice. I understand that for many people it’s not, but for me it’s a choice, and you don’t get to define my gayness for me. A certain section of our community is very concerned that it not be seen as a choice, because if it’s a choice, then we could opt out. I say it doesn’t matter if we flew here or we swam here, it matters that we are here and we are one group and let us stop trying to make a litmus test for who is considered gay and who is not.”

Opponents argue that defining Nixon’s gayness isn’t about Nixon at all; it’s about how she’s abusing her elevated platform as a celebrity with comments that can not only further confuse young people who are struggling with their sexuality in silence, but also give conservatives some free ammunition to use against the LGBT community as they continue to fight for equal civil rights. Unfortunately, this is partly true, as people who are famous for something seem to automatically become spokespeople and advocates for something else (Demi Lovato fighting eating disorders, Rihanna speaking up against domestic violence, etc.). Cynthia Nixon just wants to worry about Cynthia Nixon, but she may have given up that right when she signed on for her first big acting role.

The thing about Nixon is that she refuses to call herself bisexual; she genuinely states that she was straight before, but she’s gay now. Political blogger and gay activist John Aravosis called her out on the supposed misnomer of her sexual orientation: “It’s not a ‘choice,’ unless you consider my opting to date a guy with brown hair versus a guy with blonde hair a ‘choice.’ It’s only a choice among flavors I already like.  And if you like both flavors, men and women, you’re bisexual, you’re not gay, so please don’t tell people that you are gay, and that gay people can ‘choose’ their sexual orientation, i.e., will it out of nowhere.  Because they can’t.”

Supporters of Nixon’s views say that whether people of the LGBT community say their sexual orientation is rooted in nature or nurture, it won’t actually make a positive difference in fighting the good fight. “Ask African Americans if they think being ‘born that way’ helped during the hundreds of years they fought for equal rights, or ask women about being born that way and how that helped get the right to vote or other rights,” wrote Windy City Times editor Tracy Baim in The Huffington Post. She also pointed out that religion is also a ‘choice’ that right-wing opponents seem to recognize, but ignore that of gender or sexuality. “If they hate us, they hate us, and how we got this way just doesn’t compute in their narrow minds.”

And after seeing both sides of the Hot Button Issue and agreeing with all the good intentions on the table, I feel like these members of the LGBT community are simply arguing over technicalities at this point. If being gay means something different to Cynthia Nixon than it does to John Aravosis, then can’t both definitions exist? She isn’t attacking anyone else’s sexuality; she’s only speaking out about her own. Why attack a fellow soldier whose sword isn’t even threatening you at all? Like Tracy says, there’s a different enemy that the community might be losing sight of, because of this.

Actually, both sides seem to still have a common goal in mind: so many say that these comments will confuse young kids who are currently debating and simply trying to figure their way around what they’re feeling, but what seems to be more confusing to me, a straight person in shock of all this controversy, is how these people of the LGBT community seem to be attacking each other’s worth. Does this environment seem like a safer place than the world where one is held against a harsh heterosexual standard, a place where you won’t be judged by your sexual orientation? Even more so, maybe Nixon’s controversial comments will actually help those young people out there who actually hope to choose to be gay but didn’t know they could! Can people still explore their sexuality after being in a heterosexual relationship or two? Yes, says Cynthia Nixon, you can, and it doesn’t necessarily negate the love you had for those of the opposite sex at the time.

And if we’re gonna get technical about timelines and titles, is a virgin who has never been in a relationship still straight, even if she’s never found a man she’s been attracted to? Just a thought.

I know it’s an important conversation, but it’s not that important and worth fighting over to the point where people forget what is actually worth fighting FOR. And sadly, that greater fight is still far from over. Whether “born this way” or bred into another, Cynthia Nixon is simply saying that we are who we are, right here, right now, and that’s all that matters. That’s all that needs to be accepted, at any point. “Why can’t it be a choice? Why is that any less legitimate?” Nixon asked in the NYT interview. “It seems we’re just ceding this point to bigots who are demanding it, and I don’t think that they should define the terms of the debate.”

Who is to say who we’ll be attracted to tomorrow, and who is to blame for who you were attracted to yesterday? Whether straight, gay, bisexual, or still figuring it out, your sexual orientation is yours and yours alone, and the only person who could ever have any kind of definition on the matter is the one you love, because that person’s gender—not their opinion—might change that label.

Can homosexuality be a choice for some people? Are Cynthia Nixon’s comments completely out of line, or are John Aravosis’ blogs overstepping personal boundaries?

Ashley is a UC San Diego grad who is holding on way too tightly to a potential career in magazines and goes to Vegas all too often. She’s fascinated with celebrities and strawberry beer and doubles as a pathological texter/emailer/blogger. Feed the addiction with tweets @cashleelee. Thanks in advance.

There were so many things this week I could have written about. Anti-choice groups are increasing efforts to make accessing abortions more difficult without being illegal. A Senegalese organization is getting villages to agree to stop the practice of female genital mutilation.  But when I read about an elderly lesbian couple that staged a sit-in after being denied a marriage license in North Carolina, my topic was picked.

Coming across the We Do Campaign video, in which non-heterosexual couples go to apply for marriage licenses in North Carolina, a state in which gay marriage has not been legalized broke my heart. Writing about the divide in belief about same-sex marriage last week, brought up the point that there in some parts of the United States there isn’t a lot of support for legalization. Currently NC is waiting until May to vote on a proposed constitutional amendment that could ban both gay marriages and civil unions.

On the final day of the 10-day We Do campaign, two of the first women to apply for the license returned to the Registry of Deeds in Asheville and staged a sit in. The two were arrested after they refused to leave without obtaining a license. Rev. Kathryn Cartledge and Elizabeth Eve have been together for 30 years. Yes, count that, 30 years. In 2007, the New York Times reported over half of marriages end in divorce before the couple hits 25 years.

This weekend I’ll be raising my glass to Kathryn and Elizabeth because 30 years in any relationship is an accomplishment, and that’s not even considering the extra pressures a lesbian couple would have endured over the years. Their actions, and the act of application by 20 other couples, is an attempt to make it possible for young LGBTQ individuals to grow up without the constant reminder that they will never be given the same rights, and essentially considered equal, to someone that is heterosexual.

Dear Tuffy Luv,
I have a dilemma. Currently I’m (only) 17 and a junior in high school, though I would like to think that I seem ‘beyond my years.’ At 5’11″, it is not uncommon for adults to think I am older, which can be fun when I’m out on the town with my girls and older guys spark up convos. Lately though, this whole maturity thing has seemed like more of a burden than a blessing. I’m tired of high school; the way teachers still view me as ‘a kid’, the petty drama, and as you can probably guess–the boys.

I have a great group of girl friends who I love so much, and we always manage to cook up some crazy nights out. When I go out with my friends to meet up with guys, they always expect me to get with whoever hits on me. This usually puts me in the awkward situation of being left alone with a Bieber look-alike, trying to form the best pickup line he can muster.

I know that I’m intimidating. I know that I am one of the ‘hot bitch girls who thinks she’s better than everyone.’ But the truth is that I feel so done with it. Most of the guys at my school seem so young, and aren’t very…intellectual. I really love to have actual conversations, no matter how wasted I am, which makes me seem stand-offish to guys who are trying to hook up. The guys who I find interesting are usually people I see being friends with, not hooking up with. At this point I just want to get to know older men, though I am seriously wondering if I might be gay, because I have no interest at all in the guys my age. I am so confused right now, so sorry if this doesn’t make sense. I just don’t see why my friends, who are gorgeous and intelligent, can be open to hooking up with tons of boys, whereas I have to be the one closed off to boys that don’t fit my ‘criteria.’ I would love to be the girl who left all inhibitions at the door, guy-wise. Advice would be great, or just reassurance that this is just a phase.

XOXO,
Men Not Boys

Dear Men Not Boys,

I actually don’t think you’re being unreasonable.

What the floop, I repeat, WHAT THE FLOOP made teenage boys think they can get with any girl they want?! Teenage boys, I’m sorry to break it to you, but you are at the absolute bottom of the dating food chain. You’re nasty. We know it, you know it. So why do you expect every girl you meet to suck face with you?! I want to say, teenage boys, that many of you will grow into yourselves. Someday, many of you will be decent men. Some will even be cool. But teenage boys–I’m sorry. It’s not your fault. But you’re nasty.

Okay, back to you, MNB. Yeah, seriously, totally don’t get with boys you’re not interested in. Seriously, what’s the point?! They’ll have a good time, you’ll be washing their slime off and wishing you’d just hung out with your friends.

But this question has so many parts, and, frankly, I think that’s the least of them.

You’re tired of being treated like a kid. I’m sorry, kid, but you ARE a kid. As long as you’re in high school, you have to understand that you’re gonna be considered a teenager. Because, um, you are one. But never fear!! There are two ways around this:

(1) Act more responsible and mature. That doesn’t mean act like a Know-It-All-Too-Amazingly-Mature-For-All-This teenager (because, and you don’t know this yet, but that is a definite type that the 21+ crowd loves to hate). It means be kind to people, stay cool and composed even when you’re annoyed, and succeed in as many areas of your life as you possibly can.
Or…
(2) Grin and bear it till you leave for college.

I suggest option #1.

But, in the meantime, there’s this third/fourth situation(s), which is (are?!) whether or not you should pursue older men, or if, in fact, you are a lesbian.

Well, honey, it’s okay not to know. Sexual identity is fluid, baby. Just lay back and enjoy the ride.

Which is such a simplistic way of putting it. Okay, maybe you’re a lesbian. Maybe you’re bi. Maybe you’re straight and you just haven’t had enough experience to know yet. Or maybe you’re just bored in high school and want to try something new. (Anyone watch the British “Skins?” Tony?? Yeah???) Any way is fine. Don’t rush into labeling yourself. Enjoy spending time with both genders and don’t get caught up in thinking inside the box. …No pun intended.

[KIDS. DON'T GIVE AUNT TUFFY A HEART ATTACK. ALWAYS USE PROTECTION. Condoms and dental dams and all that, yes?! Here's a pretty fun article on safe sex for lesbians.]

So, okay. Maybe you’re a lesbian, maybe not. Tuffy has no idea. And either do you. And that’s okay. You’re gonna have a good (but safe) time and try things out until you find what’s wrong. But you’re ONLY gonna try it out with people YOU’RE interested in, NOT people who try to pressure you into it, like the boys you mention in your question. You hear me?! Men or women, but only people YOU’RE interested in.

Older men are actually more complicated. This is because, when someone is significantly older, the power automatically shifts in someone’s favor. It might be yours (he’s so entranced by this hot young thing at his side!), but, more likely, it’s his (he has the freedom, he has the experience, and, most significantly, he has the money). I’m not saying to NOT date older men. If you find the right guy, I mean, hey, love is love. But don’t just hang out with any old creepster who offers to buy you a drink. Old guys are often just as skanktastic as young guys–they’ve just had time to get better at hiding it.

But never, ever let anyone tell you that you suck because you want to, you know, actually WANT someone you’re gonna hook up with. This is 2011, girl. You can hook up with whoever you like–IF you want to.

Hearts & Skulls,
Tuffy Luv

[Got anything to add to Tuffy's advice? Let it all out below. Oh, and get more Tough Love right here. You know, if you’re into that sort of thing.]

It’s no secret that getting admission to a college (especially big names like the Ivy League) is kind of a crap shoot. Sure, you need the grades, the activities, the involvement; but we all also know that sometimes you can give your application a little nudge that has nothing to do with academics. Your parents worked two jobs each to help take care of you and your three siblings and it taught you the value of responsibility and family — admissions gold. Or you spent half of your childhood in another country and had to learn the wonder and struggles of adapting your proud cultural heritage to life in the Midwest — brilliant. These kinds of things have been a leg-up in the admissions process for years and now, it turns out, there’s a brand new one that schools are actively seeking out — LGBT.

That’s right, when just a couple of decades ago many people couldn’t RISK coming out in college, now schools are trying to recruit applicants from the LGBT community and while I have no qualms about that, I gotta wonder if it’s fair.

I have a long-standing record on this column of being pro gay rights, and that’s not a streak I plan on breaking, but this is one area where I have some serious mixed feelings. On one hand, it’s great that schools are being active with the gay community and embracing their students’ sexualities as a part of who they are. It’s wonderful that they’re going to an effort to show students that they can be open, active and comfortable in their school and embracing that the challenges faced by many LGBT students are character shaping  and meaningful. Good job, colleges! It’s also not really affirmative action, so it’s not as though schools are trying to fill a certain quota; it’s just that if a good applicant comes along with the added twist of being LGBT, then it might give him or her a little boost.

No, the problem I have with this idea isn’t really about gay students getting a leg-up on the competition because of their sexuality or maybe taking a slot away from someone else based on that – though it is possible – my real problem is the implications for the gay communities within these schools. First of all, while I hate to think it, it would be a hell of a lot easier to fake a traumatic coming out story than something like, coming from a low-income family. It’s not really something admissions officers can check up on and there probably are dishonest students who would fake it or play up their own less dramatic experiences just to edge out the competition. There’s also the issue of creating an archetype for the gay student. Schools aren’t  just going around asking recruits if they’re LGBT, they see activism on transcripts with a certain expectation that it will continue – that an LGBT recruit won’t just be a student, but an involved, gay student. And while getting involved in the community is great, it puts a pressure on the student to be a certain kind of gay student – to be out and active and “gay.” There’s a lot more to an individual than their sexuality and to fit them into one little box, to put so much emphasis on who you are sexually, is kind of discrimination in reverse.

So what do you think? Should school’s look at something like sexuality when choosing students? Is being LGBT suddenly an unfair admissions advantage over straight students? Is it good or bad for the LGBT community? Duke it out!

In the mood for a good fight? Sound off in Lauren’s other battles.

[It's pretty obvious that the average CollegeCandy reader has some very strong opinions. Opinions that she likes to share with everyone on the site. Sometimes with mean words. We love a strong woman (unless she happens to be charging at us with her fists raised), so we thought we'd give her a real forum to discuss her thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Every Friday I'll be featuring a hot topic (like flat rate tuition!) and leaving it up to you, the readers, to duke it out. So, read it and get your debate on in the comments section below!]

Last week, the Senate voted not to repeal the military’s ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy – a policy that’s essentially a band-aid for the absence of gay rights in the military. The policy, which was introduced in 1993, has essentially stood all of this time as a way of saying ‘you can be gay in the military, as long as nobody knows about it’. It looked close for a while there, but ultimately the policy stands – even though Obama actually campaigned on changing the policy and his administration is openly opposed to it – and I think it’s time we had OUR say.

As I’ve said before, I’m not unbiased on this issue, but regardless of my own personal moral compass being pro-gay rights, there are also some compelling reasons why the policy should be repealed. For starters, under this policy anyone who comes out or is outed in the military is given a dishonorable discharge, no matter how well they were actually doing their job. That means that we’re actively spending military budget on getting rid of military personnel regardless of the quality of their work or the necessity of their position, which, considering how much trouble there already is with military budgeting, seems like a massive waste. There’s also the very obvious fact that this is the AMERICAN military and if it were any other position, say, at an American business perhaps, a person could sue for being fired over their sexuality – because it’s freakin’ illegal!

Suffice to say it’s pretty backassward that our own laws don’t apply the same way to our protective body as they do to the public.

One of the big arguments against repealing the policy is the fact that it’s going to take a lot of work and since the system as it stands functions reasonably effectively, to throw a big restructuring in right now would just mess things up for everybody. Now on the one hand, I see a point in this argument, because yes, the military is doing tough stuff at a tough time and they’re doing the best job they can. Yes, massive restructuring to deal with changing policies and deal with things like housing – where do LGBT soldiers live? With their own gender? The opposite? – as well as overall attitudes and the general social unrest that major changes like this cause, would be a serious burden on the system and would likely make it work less effectively for a time.

But then again, if that’s the rationale, then there’s really never a good time to restructure anything. The military always does tough stuff at tough times and it will always upset the system to have major changes; that didn’t stop the military from desegregating in the ’40s.

OK, what do you have to say? Is ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ a blotch on our historical record? Does it desperately need to be repealed? Or has the policy been working so far so why fix what’s not broken? Should we wait for another, better, time to make a major effort like this?

Duke it out!

Would you tell him if he has a small…thingy

She owes her plastic surgeon major moola

5 droolworthy bags

Does your number matter?

Not really digging this fashion challenge

What she learned dating women

Someone’s all grown up!

He continues to be a horrible person

Yesterday, two years after Prop 8 – a proposition to ban gay marriage in California – was passed, Federal Judge Vaugh Walker released a 136-page document deeming the proposition unconstitutional. To say it was a big day for the gay and lesbian community in this country is an understatement. In fact, to say it was a big day for this very straight woman is an understatement, too.

Having been raised in a liberal household before attending an extremely liberal college, I literally cannot understand the idea of banning gay marriage. Say what you will about the whole “marriage is between a man and a woman” thing, making it illegal for a gay couple to get married is unfair, unjust and in opposition to the morals and ideals this country was built on.

America is (supposedly) a country that accepts all people, and that includes both straight and gay. We create laws to keep order and safety, but the law proposed by Prop 8 does neither. It is based on hatred, bigotry and ignorance. Will allowing gay couples to get married wreak havoc on our country? Are they more dangerous than straight couples? No and no.

Let’s be real: we have much larger issues to focus on in this country (um, the economy/the war/rebuilding New Orleans post Katrina…) than worrying about who is getting married. And it’s nice to see that someone with a voice has finally realized that too.

While we are still a ways away from having equal rights for the gay community, yesterday’s ruling gives me hope that one day – in my lifetime – we will live in a country that doesn’t ban gay couples from prom; doesn’t oppress millions of innocent people; gives everyone the right to love who they want to love, no questions asked; and has the (obviously fabulous) Neil Patrick Harris/David Burtka wedding televised.

I can’t wait for that day.

Question for Her Tuffness?! Ask it at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com and Tuffy’ll try ‘n’ be nice. No promises.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I’m going to college in the fall, and my love life needs major help. I’ve been seeing my girlfriend for about 3 years now, and it’s been shaky at best. We started out the first year strong, always together, resolving to not care what others thought, the usual.

As time went on, we started to fight more, and it was always over little things. We hate each other’s friends (she goes to my old school, which is just right down the road), school work started getting heavy, she got a job, and we both fought to keep a social life while still seeing each other.  Throughout the 3 years, we’ve broken up numerous times, and only once for a good reason (she was fooling around with another woman and denied it!). The trust hasn’t ever returned since that incident, even though it never happened again.

Now college is starting, and she wants to live together next year, because our colleges are right down the road and neither of us are living on campus. The thing is, I don’t know if I even want to be with her anymore, let alone stay with her. College is supposed to be the best time of your life, but I feel like living- and continuing to see her- is seriously going to put a damper on that. Besides all that, I’m not even sure if I still love her; we never see each other anymore, and when we talk too much we usually argue.

But every time we break up, I can’t stop thinking about her. I’m not sure if it’s because my social life lately has sucked, because I actually want to be with her, or because I just want her to know that when she loses me, she is losing a great thing! I am smart, funny, and have big goals in life. Oh, and living alone next year would suck, because I’d have to pay all the bills alone (no one else is going to my college).  What should I do?

Sincerely,
Undecided

Dear Undecided,

Decide. Tell this girl you’re not ready to move in together.

This is a totally reasonable thing, Undecided. You’re only just starting college. That is reaaaaally early to be moving in with your lover. It’s true that, conventionally, girls live with girls in college. But that’s based on an antiquated hushhush-talk where no one acknowledged same-sex relationships. When there’s sex involved, honey, you know it’s a whole ‘nother thing.

Listen. You have a long history with your girlfriend, especially considering how young you are. Checkered though it may be (cheating is REAL hard to forgive), it’s gonna be hard to move on from. But the fact is, Undecided, you are unsatisfied in this relationship, and you’re about to start a whole new chapter in your life (cue Full House music) where you’re gonna meet a whole lot of new people and have a whole lot of new experiences. I agree with you–there’s no reason to lock yourself into something you’re not sure about.

To be honest with you, UD, even if you said you were totally in love with this girl, I would still tell you to live apart, at least for the first semester. You need to learn to adjust and to be an adult without the comfortable crutch of a lover from your old life.

So, start fresh. Tell your girlfriend you’d like to either break up, take a temporary break, or try an open relationship (your call–open relationship is the hardest, break up the easiest). And then find a roommate so you don’t go broke. For the roommate, contact student affairs at your college–they’ll help hook you up with someone.

And speaking of hooking up, lezfriends: Safe sex is still a must, even if there’s no weewees involved!!! Condoms or latex gloves are a must!!!

Hearts & Skulls,
Tuffy Luv

Sorry CollegeCandy readers, but I’m not sharing details. All I can say is it was a fun night that involved a lot of alcohol and a we-really-hope-she’s-sleeping roommate situation. Good times. Anyways, while this was something I was hoping to cross off of my bucket list, I never really realized that I was actually interested in women. Did this make me a lesbian? Was I bisexual? Pansexual? Bi-curious? The labels didn’t really matter to me. I just accepted that I like what I like, and that’s okay.

If you allow me to make some broad generalizations, here are my favorite and least favorite things about being with both guys and girls:

Guys: I know a couple guys who are just a little obsessed with the size of their penis.
Girls: I have never in my life heard a girl talk about how she wishes she had a bigger vagina.

Guys: finish, and they’re out of commission for a good 20 minutes to an hour, depending on the dude. Of course, there are other things they can do for you… but does anyone ever really do that? In my experience, when he’s done, the sex is typically done as well. This has always been okay with me, but then I realize that…
Girls: can keep going and going and going and going. I’m actually curious about that — how does girl-on-girl sex actually end? Could we just set a mutual quota of 10 or so orgasms per sack session? Sounds kinda nice actually.

Guys: There’s always that worry in the back of your mind as to whether or not a guy is comparing you to something unattainable – something he saw in a magazine. I’m hot and all, but I’m no Kate Moss. I don’t know how many women’s bodies he’s seen, and I don’t know what he expects to see when he looks at mine.
Girls: To be honest, it’s not often I see a girl who is truly unattractive. I find all women beautiful. But at the same time, it’s kind of nice to see that the girl I’m naked with has cellulite on her legs — just like me, or she gets rolls when she bends over — just like me, and she’s still completely gorgeous (just like me?). It kind of gives you a sense of feeling normal about your imperfections.

Girls: studies show that up to 50% of women fake orgasms. How do I know when I’m doing it right!?
Guys: after sex with a guy, you KNOW you did a good job. There’s um… evidence.

Girls: get PMS. I know because I get it too. How exactly would sex work between two hormonal women? I predict fighting, passionate make-up sex, and then maybe a little post-coital crying. I’m not being sexist, I’ve actually (embarrassingly) been there.
Guys: will never, ever get PMS. Lucky bastards.

Guys: Penis = awesome.
Girls: Vagina = awesome.

See my problem here?

The truth is that there are pros and cons with getting busy with both sexes. There’s a lot to learn from different experiences, and I would totally encourage anyone who’s a little curious about exploring their sexuality with someone of the same sex to go for it. Seriously, if you can find the right person, it’s a good time. And if it ends up not being your cup of tea, at least you can say you tried!

Do you have any same-sex experiences? Please feel free to share! What advice would you have for someone exploring his or her new-found love for the same sex?

As a generation of Facebookers, Twitterers, bloggers, BBMers, iPhone-ers, GPS users, and so on and so on, we are often viewed by the older I-went-to-the-library-to-do-research generation as lazy and dependent.  We have the world at our fingertips and we don’t have to use our brains for virtually anything, or so they claim.

Yes, we can access Google at any moment, and no we do not need White Out to correct our papers, but to the contrary, it is our 24/7 connection that makes us anything but lazy when it comes to fighting for what we believe in.

Take for example, the heated debate of gay marriage.  While an older generation calls the shots in Congress, in most states, it is still illegal.  According to a study by the Higher Education Research Institute at UCLA, 65 percent of college freshman surveyed were in favor of gay marriage.  The findings revealed that even a large majority of students classified as far-right were also supporters.

With such a large percentage of college students in favor of gay marriage, there is an obvious disconnect between this generation and the older generation who make decisions on our country’s behalf.  Many influential people of the older generation are still taking action to deter gay rights.  Even some school system officials can be categorized this way.  Just last week, a lesbian high school senior was denied permission to bring her girlfriend to her prom.  Because of our networking capabilities, through Facebook, YouTube, blogs (including this one) etc, the news spread like wildfire.  The incident stirred uproar amongst our generation and discussion of outrage was consumed through every outlet.  Although an unfortunate event, perhaps it is appalling decisions like these that motivate our generation to stay open-minded and fight to make a change.  If it weren’t for our Internet dependency that may classify us as “lazy,” we would also be blind to incidents such as this one and consequently just as closed minded as those who dictate the fate of our country today.

It is refreshing to observe the findings of this study and to know that change is on its way.  With so much hate still circulating in the World, news like this gives us hope that our generation has potential to make massive strides towards the good of mankind.  Researchers found the results so highly in favor of gay marriage, they deemed the future legality of it practically inevitable.  Yes, we have officially re-written the question from “if” to “when.”

So what do you think? Is gay marriage inevitable?