Today was an unfortunate day. While perusing the internet, I ran across a teaser of Levi Johnston’s Playgirl magazine photo shoot. My curiosity got the best of me, and to say it killed the cat is an understatement. I think “made the cat look at a whole lot of nasty testicles…and then killed it” is more accurate.

I followed the link to Playgirl.com and was immediately overwhelmed by peen. (Note: I am not including the link here to spare your eyes.) Never have I ever seen so many schlongs in my entire life. All shapes, sizes and pube lengths; it was like my eyes were under attack by penis-shaped daggers.

This experience did more than force me to fight my natural gag reflex/delete the browsing history on the university computer I was using in the computer lab; it got me thinking about the presence of Playgirl at all. Read More »

It’s Friday the 13^th, and even though I’m not particularly superstitious—I’ve stepped on many a crack in my day, and my mother’s back is still working just fine—I do feel a little uneasy. That’s mostly because, as my main man Tim Gunn might say, I’m concerned about a lot of things right now. Senior year just isn’t as stress-free as I thought it would be. I’ve got stupid group projects, the college gender gap, and the Gosselin-Johnston unholy d-bag alliance to worry about.

And that’s not all—we’re living in a world where wearing a miniskirt to class can get you expelled, for Pete’s sake. It’s enough to make you want to abandon college altogether. Here are some of the other things that have been worrying CC writers this week:

-       Gossip Girl’s ill-advised threesome. Was anyone else hoping that the ménage would turn out to be between Chuck, Blair, and a clone of Chuck?

-       What exactly is Google Wave, and does it mean that the robot revolution is coming sooner than we thought?

-       How long it’ll take to get off the waitlist at Rent the Runway, a website that promises to make all your fantasies come true. Read More »

Ready to see this guy's hockey stick?

Are you getting pumped about Levi Johnston’s upcoming full-frontal spread in Playgirl?

Wait, what’s that? You just threw up in your mouth a little?

Levi might be conventionally attractive, but his status as Bristol Palin’s baby-daddy, Jon Gosselin’s new buddy – Michael Lohan must be green with envy – and an all-around jerk (in response to New York Magazine asking him how he was adjusting to life in the Big Apple, Levi said, “I run this city. It ain’t no thang.” UGH) means that we’re less than excited about the idea of having naked pictures of this asshat plastered all over the internet next week.

After giving the matter some thought, we realized that there are actually only five guys that we’d be even more opposed to seeing in their birthday suits. Read the list if you dare—the thought of these dudes naked might just make you shudder. Read More »

We have no idea what brought these two guys together for this splendid photo opp, but we know one thing for sure: that’s a whole lotta douchebag for Times Square.

We’ve been staring at this photo for hours with only one small Pop-Tart break and we just can’t imagine what these guys are thinking (though we know that the act alone is difficult for Levi).What are they looking at? And is Jon’s jacket Ed Hardy?

Save us from our brain drain and share your captions and ideas in the comments.

Who knew Levi Johnston was so poetic?

Who’s Adam Lambert’s new man??

Wanna win some diamonds!?

Morning workouts burn more calories.

Lady Gaga does Gossip Girl.

6 must-wear textiles for right now.

Let’s hope she’s not the Yoko Ono of the Yankees.

Levi Johnston prepares to show his Johnson.

Does it really matter who the Idol judges are?

Rock the sequins this fall.

Wanna hear Lady Gaga’s new song?

Need to wake up? Try these tips.

Kathy Griffin’s got a new man.

Another baby boy for Elizabeth Hasselbeck.

Clear up all that brain fog.

No one likes Katherine Heigl anymore.

Lady Gaga’s style just gets better and better.

Don’t Facebook friend your boss.

This makes me uncomfortable.

Pulling out may just work!

Openly gay student wins prom queen.

Apparently Tori Spelling killed her father.

Lindsay Lohan can’t catch a break.

So, why are these dudes single?

This morning on Good Morning America, hypocrite Bristol Palin discussed her plan to push an “abstinence-only” message on teens. She couldn’t quite explain how abstinence got her where she is today (with, ahem, a child at age 18), but she was very confident that “abstinence is the only way you can effectively, 100%, prevent pregnancy.”

Props to B. Palin for that brilliant realization (and for basically admitting being a mom sucks), but since, as she said herself just weeks ago, “abstinence is unrealistic,” why don’t we figure out a more-um-successful way to stay child-free, while still satisfying our libidos.

Enter: Birth Control!!

Crazy, right? This stuff comes in all sorts of forms: patches, IUDs, condoms, looking at teen mothers trying to care for their kids and realizing how much less fun life would be with a child… Oh, and the pill, which, when taken correctly (not a difficult feat to accomplish if you can swallow a pill), is 99.9% effective. Certainly more effective than preaching abstinence…and then having unprotected sex with your hockey playing boyfriend in the middle of the Alaskan wilderness. And most of the pills now come in pretty packaging! (Yaz has a tidy blue suede case with fun stickers that help you stay on track and turn birth control into a fun craft project).

Of course, we all (should) know that hormonal contraception doesn’t prevent against narsty STDs, so, unless you and your sex-bud have been tested and are exclusively hookin’ up, please use condoms too! I can tell you from looking at some pretty graphic books that Syphilis ain’t pretty. Neither is abandoning your education to raise a child on welfare and food stamps. So instead of shooting moose, go get yourself some nooky. Because, like Ms. Bristol once said, not getting any is just “unrealistic.”

Just remember to pop that very important pill first.

Pink benefits from breakup…then gets back together with ex.

Get to know Kim Kardashian.

The best remixes of Britney’s Womanizer.

Your yeast infection just got worse. Ew.

Octomom sits down for another magazine interview.

Levi Johnston hits the media circuit.