Packing up the car for a short weekend, I fell absolutely in love with everything from the rolling mountains surrounding the university, the slew of handcrafted rocking chairs on the porches, all the way to the historical landmarked buildings. Every college student has that moment when they know that this is their school – and walking across the front quadrangle, I knew I found a place to start my college journey.

Little did I know, signing the paperwork and sending a $400 deposit for my enrollment to be a student in the 2010 class was my way of making a deal with the devil.

Since being in college, I have been through hell and back, and then some. The façade of a well polished community really seemed too good to be true, but once the parents left and the magical fairy dust of being a brand-spankin’ new college student wore off and our student IDs lost their luster, so did the support and cooperation of the administration, the ideals of “sisterhood” as a unique kinship that unites community (the word ‘sisterhood’ plays a major marketing role for all-women’s colleges across the nation and sororities), the spirit of traditions, and the premise that college is actually about learning subjects in a manner of breadth and depth.

Two and a half years later, I am a junior still at the same university. I stayed for my academics, which happened to be the only aspect of school that didn’t come with strings attached. This series is my cautionary tale for those prospective students out there, those considering transferring from their universities, and those who may not be aware of the full picture happening across their campuses.

Every Thursday I will feature issues that, believe it or not, actually happen on college campuses despite what viewbooks and Dean of Students let on. While most college students have had the time of their life during their 4 years of undergrad, I have been fighting for my own life, as a very concerned student. While pushing my education and social life to the side, I have dealt with a system that I have realized is not just flawed but broken – and it’s time for me to share my story!

Love in the Novel

Nabokov

Intro to Buddhist Thought

These are the kind of classes my parents put up with throughout my college career, with nary an Econ class to be found among the lot.

Many students feel a lot of pressure, however, to take classes that will turn around into the best profit. They know their parents are dropping some major Benjamins to keep them in a good school, and they want to return the favor by, at the very least, not making their parents go gray worrying that their children will be living in a box on the street. So they take Econ and finance classes. They try to become good little doctors and lawyers and I-bankers.

But most of the people I know taking that path aren’t particularly happy doing it.

Sometimes I begin to feel that creeping Slacker Guilt. You know, the worry that I’m only taking lightweight courses that won’t lead to a career. That I’m squandering my parents’ money, happily off dancing through English and artsy-fartsy classes. I begin to feel like maybe I should just put my head down and grind through a few teeth-gritting courses like Decision-Making in Finance, just so I won’t feel like I’ve got my head in the clouds all the time. I see other english majors being struck with Slacker guilt, too. Creative writers taking on extra-burdensome course loads and classes that have bad professors and uninspired reading lists, just because they think they should.

It just doesn’t….fit.

I know that it makes sense to take these “practical” courses, but that doesn’t mean it’s right. College is about exploring new things and learning the things you want to learn. Sure, it is also about working towards a career, but if you don’t like what you are studing in Econ 101, you are not going to like working for a large finance firm for the next 60 years (or until it goes under). Especially if you only did it to appease the parentals.

I’m proposing a bold new interpretation of the keep-the-parents-happy rule. Above all, your parents want you to be happy. Honestly, it seems to me that life’s too short to waste twenty or more years of it on a career path that makes you groan inside. There is a better life out there, doing something you feel passionate and excited about. Even if it means making a few less bucks, I say go for it.

At the very least, spend your college years being excited by your classes. You can do the more practical stuff later. Med schools like admitting English majors, honestly, because they’re well-versed in the world and they know how to write, which is an invaluable skill in just about any profession. So take a little joy in your education, and worry about paying the bills just a little bit later.

In reality, though, more than half of Princeton’s student body is on financial aid, and a very large percentage of that is on nearly 100% financial aid. In addition to that, students spend a lot of time in the summer traveling to developing countries, doing community service in struggling neighborhoods, and generally getting their hands dirty. And yet, the myth persists…and for good reason.

There are a lot of different ways people can be “sheltered.” Ivy Leaguers may not all be rolling in wealth, but they still have an embarrassing lack of practical knowledge across the board. Because most of us spent our young lives with our noses stuck in books or playing some sport obsessively, we don’t really know how to, well, get along in the real world.

Most of us can’t change a tire, balance a checkbook, buy health insurance, or even iron a shirt properly. We take our laundry home for the parents to do whenever possible, and we hold off getting our hair cut until we can get home too. We’re good at buying the stuff we need online, but don’t ask us to pick out the right screws from a hardware store or a good cut of meat from the butcher. We’re learned and ridiculously mature in some ways, and yet so unaware in many others.

I know the Ivy League is all about giving students a top-notch liberal arts education, but it would be great if they could give us a little practical knowledge as well; the stuff we didn’t have time to learn from our parents because we were too busy studying for the SAT’s. I say, if we’re going to be the leaders of tomorrow, we ought to know how the world really works on the micro level.

We should be able to take a class on real world knowledge, whether it’s fixing a leaky faucet, cooking, or tying a full Windsor knot in a tie. Because the college life may involve memorizing the events that led up to the Civil War, or surfing the internet for some answers, but one day we’ll suddenly be expected to know about Grown-Up Stuff, and who’s going to teach us that?

Ah, Thanksgiving traditions.

Some of them are sweet; sitting around a table surrounded by people you love, giving thanks for all the things you’ve been given. Some of them are funny; deep frying an entire turkey or playing board games with a bunch of drunk family members. And some of them, well, some of them we’d really like to never go through again; dodging the inevitable “why are you still single / what are you studying / what are you going to do with a liberal arts degree?” question or watching your uncle’s face turn red as he realizes your politics in no way represent his.

My family has a lot of traditions (many of which include alcohol and loud Italian yelling matches), but one of my favorite things to do every year as a kid was sit down in front of the TV with my aunt and uncle and watch Mystery Science Theater 3000.

You may not have heard of this small, late 80’s to late 90’s show, but Mystery Science Theater 3000 remains one of the best concepts ever invented.

Even though the actual premise sounds like something a bunch of your stoner friends came up with (“In the not too distant future, a man and his robots are trapped on the Satellite of love, where evil scientists force them to sit through the worst movies ever made”), the episodes mostly consisted of a guy and his two sarcastic robot friends sitting in an empty movie theater, making fun of ridiculous old movies.

If you’re one of those people who love talking your way through stupid films, considering YouTubing Mystery Science 3000 this Thanksgiving.

Whatever happens, it’ll be better than staring at a photo album dedicated to that perfect cousin you hate.

I lived in an ecologically – friendly dorm, ate veggie burgers, created art out of garbage and was generally bored out of my mind. So naturally, the only thing to do was move to Texas. But that’s besides the point.

Liberal arts kids are a unique breed. Instead of being encouraged to use college as a vessel for job placement and perpetual financial security, they are left to their own devices with indirect help from people like Kant and Foucault.

Consequently, post – college, most L.A. kids drift to boring jobs with meager wages in liberal cities, subsisting only with help from their more traditionally successful benefactors (parents). But all this is, of course, just speculation.

As a result, Gawker has decided that liberal arts schools are incredibly annoying. Really, I can’t blame them, even though the bulk of their readers are wayward liberal arts grads.

I suggest you read up on these little gems of colleges and decide for yourself. Most of these schools you probably haven’t even heard of, but I guarantee that these schools are special, special places. So special you can major in things like creativity and graduate in four years only having taken two classes.