What can a girl do if she’s more sexual than her guy? I never thought I would run into this problem, but I guess there’s a first to everything. I think I like sex more than the guy I am dating. Any time I am with him, I am totally turned on. That doesn’t mean I am constantly trying to get into his pants, but I can’t help that I’m super attracted to him. He would be totally fine having sex one or two times a week. Is he not sexually attracted to me? Is it possible that he’s just not that sexual? How do I talk to him about it?

Sincerely,

Girl With a High Sex Drive

Dear Girl With a High Sex Drive

Yes, it’s possible that he’s just not that sexual. No, it’s not possible he’s not sexually attracted to you since, well, he’ll have sex twice a week with you. Which is something. A bit below average for a hot and heavy honeymoon period, granted, but something. I hate to say it, but you in fact may be more sexual than him. Hey, it DOES happen.

There’s this prolifically far reaching and ever present stereotype that men are horndogs. We can’t get enough of it. We’re sex obsessed and possibly sex crazed. We crave it and are up for it anytime, anywhere, and, depending on our blood alcohol level, would be willing to have it with just about anyone with a vagina. Unless we’re bi and then just anyone with a hole. Do you hear that little pop? That’s the sound of me bursting the sit-com purported bubble.

There are guys out there who are in fact not completely driven by their libido. There are guys out there who do not think sex is the only thing that…well, matters. They DO exist. And you found one. And they’re not obsessed with sex for similar reasons that anyone might not be: low testosterone level, crappy past sexual experiences, abusive childhood, actually being a robot-TAKE YOUR PICK!

There’s a super easy way to talk to him about this: You say, “Look, this might just be me, it might be nothing, but I want to bring it up in case it’s not nothing.” Make it clear you’re not attacking him. Just wanting to be on the same page. If you approach it like that, you’re not going to be emasculating him. If he takes it that way, well, that’s an indication of a fragile libido ego…which is a whole different column to write about.

Protect and serve,

The Dude

[Got a Dude itch you just can’t scratch? Sick of trying to come up with a not-totally-crazy-girl way to bring it up to your guy friends and get their take on things? Totally over over-analyzing the cryptic messages he leave on your Facebook Wall? We got your back, girlfriend. Send your question over to askthedude [at] collegecandy [dot] com. The Dude won’t sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. Like a nice, juicy hot dog, he’ll be 100% real beef, 100% of the time. So bring. it. on.]

Cooking with Balls: The Testicle Cookbook

If I were a man, I probably would have just grabbed my crotch and made that sympathy moan that happens when a dude sees another dude get blasted in the nads. And then I would make a joke to my girlfriend about eating balls. Unless you are my boyfriend, who made a joke about the washing instructions (soak 30-40 minutes), because he ‘only likes dirty nuts.’

Since I am a woman, I am just going to take a breath, try and keep my Baked Ruffles down, and then ask, very reasonably, WTF?!?

First of all, the photos involved are just foul, so much so that I am not even going to joke about downloading the e-book (the only form in which this is available, thank God) and watching the VIDEOS that come with it, one of which shows the author ‘peeling testicles and cutting them into bite-sized chunks.” VOM.

He also organizes an annual World Testicle Cooking Championship, at which a metric ton of testicles are cooked. DOUBLE VOM.

The author, Ljubomir Erovic, is Serbian. Testicles are a delicacy in that particular culture, and touted as an aphrodisiac, which they are in China as well (they supposedly boost the sex drive like WHOA). I’m aware that eating testicles, be they sheep, stallion, bull, ostrich – pretty much anything but human – is not unheard of. Hell, we’ve got Rocky Mountain Oysters right here in the good old U.S. of A. But a whole cookbook? Testicle pie? Testicle PIZZA? I mean, I know times are tough, but I don’t think any amount of penny-pinching would make me see that as a viable pepperoni alternative. I don’t even like touching raw chicken. You’ve seen the pictures. You know what I mean.

If you are braver than me, or looking to expand your culinary habits, the e-book is available for download on YuDu. A sample version is available here

Ladies, a nice piping hot testicle pie on a cold day? Men, some barbecued testicles to boost your libido? Seriously, is there anyone out there who would actually eat this??

Photo courtesy of blog.lib.umn.edu