Why does everyone think that being a virgin is bad?

Ok, not necessarily bad per se. But definitely looked down upon, like we’re being foolish for not wanting to experience “the pleasures of life” you non-virgins always talk about.

You may not think we know, but we know. We know those looks you give us when we’re all hanging out together and we start talking about guys. And by “you,” I mean the one who goes out, gets drunk, and hooks up. After you go on and on about the guy (not the boyfriend, but the guy of the moment) you met last night and how good he was in bed, you all of a sudden cast us a very familiar look. That patronizing, pity-filled, I-can’t-believe-you’re-not-doing-it-you-don’t-know-what-you’re-missing look. The eyebrows scrunch a little and the lips pout a little, and maybe the arms reach out to give us a little hug. The consoling eyes seem to say, “It’s ok, sweetie. You’ll find someone some day!”

Well, maybe I don’t want to find someone. At least, not in that way. Not for just the night. Not for just sex.

You might think I’m crazy, but I know that until I have found the one I’m going to spend the rest of my life with, I’m not going to settle. I don’t just want to pick up some random guy at the club, spend a meaningless night together and have my final image of him be his back heading out the door. Read More »

I’ve recently realized that the most important thing about going to college is leaving it. No, I don’t mean going home every weekend, since that would defeat the whole gaining-your-independence thing that I’ve been striving for. But I now know that to really be independent, I have to get off campus every once in a while.

My college is pretty secluded, so when I am here, I am in a little college bubble. Sure, I take care of myself and am independent, but I am surrounded by people I know, or people who would be happy to help me at any moment. Life is pretty simple here, if you ignore the fact that we’re constantly stressed from homework and no free time. But still, if I spent four years within the college limits, I would never learn how to really take care of myself.

Getting away from this bubble at first made me nervous, but now brings me relief. Since I am so close to Boston, I can take the bus into the city and just roam around. I can eat real, non-dining-hall food, and walk past faces that I don’t recognize. And I can be on my own.

College is teaching me all about how to learn. I will leave it with a degree and lots of facts in my head. But hopefully this small-town girl will also learn how to take public transportation, walk through a crowded sidewalk, and be comfortable alone in a city. Getting off-campus can be just as educational as staying on it. And by the end of my four years, I want to say that my time her taught me not just how to learn, but how to live.

Three days ago, I returned from the first ever Rothbury Festival in Rothbury, Michigan – a 5-day musical event featuring an eclectic range of music, from Dave Matthews to Disco Biscuits to Snoop Dogg. I’m exhausted, my feet are calloused & my cheeks are sunburnt (& freckly!), and maybe it was just all the booze, greenery & glow sticks, but my little spirit is renewed.

After spending a night chillaxin’ in Sherwood Forrest, letting my fatigued body sink into a colorful hammock for two and talk for hours with one of my new best friends over cocktails in combustible corn cups, I knew it was time for a change. A huge, life-changing, effortful change. Something about spending the weekend surrounded by happy, empowering, inspirational people (albeit a little dirty & drugged-up) was a huge, magical, sparkly slap in the face that it’s time for me to conquer, one-by-one, all the things I want to in life.

So, without further adieu, here is my list of sweet stuff I wanna learn.

1. How to give a kick-a** massage. I am OBSESSED with massages. I try to con all my boyfriends, friends, (even boy friends!) to give me little shoulder, back or foot massages (perfect after a long day at work…or shopping). However, I am just as inclined to return the favor because I know how ridiculously nice (and/or orgasm-inducing) a massage can be.

2. How to make sweet jewelry. I used to be the baddest b*tch on the block because I could make friendship bracelets with any color of the rainbow out of any type of string. Unfortunately, I haven’t practiced my art for about, oh, 10 years & I think it’s time for me to get back in the game. But, I sure will have a lot of catching up to do. Read More »

A common complaint about the Ivy League gang is that we lead very sheltered lives. People on the outside imagine our lives to be one long champagne-soaked yacht ride, a life where all of our wants and needs are taken care of and mummy and daddy’s charge card is always on hand.

In reality, though, more than half of Princeton’s student body is on financial aid, and a very large percentage of that is on nearly 100% financial aid. In addition to that, students spend a lot of time in the summer traveling to developing countries, doing community service in struggling neighborhoods, and generally getting their hands dirty. And yet, the myth persists…and for good reason.

There are a lot of different ways people can be “sheltered.” Ivy Leaguers may not all be rolling in wealth, but they still have an embarrassing lack of practical knowledge across the board. Because most of us spent our young lives with our noses stuck in books or playing some sport obsessively, we don’t really know how to, well, get along in the real world. Read More »

It’s the start of a new week and already I feel haggard and exhausted. My moods are swinging like a particularly feisty pendulum and my breasts ache. It can only mean one thing: my good friend PMS is on the horizon.

The beginnings of some minor stomach cramps, an increased feeling of self-consciousness and a patience threshold shorter than my small toe surface like clockwork once a month, warning me of impending pain and the cycle of womanhood.

Thankfully I am not alone, basking in the dull glory of 90% of menstruating women who currently experience some form of Pre-Menstrual Syndrome. There are at least a hundred symptoms, though women experience a mix of just a few. The most common include irritability, loss of confidence, poor concentration, crying for no particular reason and the infamous mood swings, as feared by boyfriends and spouses the world over.

I myself am prone to similar experiences as mentioned above, along with an unpleasant notion of feeling like a beached whale and wishing my bedroom were the sea and my bed the sand, so I could waddle on my belly to bask in comfort and perhaps make a few guessed interpretations of what I would consider to be whale groans. Read More »

Q. Dear Tuffy Luv,

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m at a great school pursuing my dream career, I live in a great apartment with a roommate I adore, and, yeah, I don’t have a lot of money because I’m a student, but really, I’m doing okay.

But I’ve been in a series of bad relationships and I just got dumped (again) a couple of weeks ago by a guy I was just casually dating. Ever since, I’ve been so depressed that it’s really hard to just get through the day. I know it’s not worth it to get so upset over a guy, but I can’t shake this depression. What should I do?

-Retardedly Sad

A. Dear Retardedly Sad,

First of all, I’m really sorry about the guy. It always sucks to get dumped, no matter how it went down. So, get thee to a Coldstone Creamery and ice cream thy pain away.

But it’s also important to try to see the situation objectively (well, I mean, as objectively as you can) and try to pinpoint exactly what it is you’re really upset about. Read More »

I have a tendency to speak my mind. Especially when my opinion is not particularly welcome.

I don’t think it is my fault; my mother is a very judgmental woman and if she thinks something, then everyone else should agree. Unfortunately, she passed that lovely trait onto me (along with big thighs, ugly toes and an obsession with a clean house).

I have tried to fix it.

For the past year I have made a conscious effort to be less judgmental and to let people make their own decisions.

The only problem I seem to have these days, though, is the inability to find the (oh so fine) line between being overly judgmental and being a good friend. I constantly find myself wondering where one ends and the other begins.

So, when my friend told me she met up with her ex who treated her like a piece of shit I didn’t know how to react.

On the one hand, I wanted to scream and tell her that he is not good for her; that he is only going to hurt her again. I wanted to make it cleat that even talking to him can lead to big, bad ugliness.

On the other hand, I wanted to let her make her own decisions. Let her see if he changed. Let her see if they would even be going down that road again. Then, if things end up as I predict they will, be there to bring her pretzels and frosting and make her smile.

I don’t know what to do. Is telling her how I feel – reminding her of her months of pain – the way to be a good friend? Read More »

I was out at the bar last night (on a weeknight, I know! Who do I think I am?! A college student?!) and ran into a friend of my ex.

We started talking and as we sat down together at a table in the corner, she looked at me in all seriousness and asked, “So, are you ok?”

I thought maybe she heard about my massive PMS cramps or the fact that my recent mild-obsession with running had left me with some serious blisters on the bottom of my feet.

After all, the boy and I broke up months ago and – as anyone who knows the truth knows – I ended things with him; the thought that this is what she was referring to never crossed my mind.

“Yeah, I mean, the blisters make it a bitch to walk in these heels, but this Amstel Light is totally numbing the pain.”

Her uncomfortable giggle made me realize that my feet were not the focus of her sympathy. She mentioned something about the boy and how it had to sorta suck when he dumped me. And something about how I must be sad about it because I can’t seem to stop calling him, no matter how many times he ignores me and never calls me back.

Insert the sound of tires coming to a screeching halt.

WHAT?! Read More »

It is pretty much mid-August already, and for you lucky bastards heading back to school in the fall, it is time for the back-to-school insanity: Back-to-school sales. Back-to-school packing. Back-to-school planning. Back-to-school countdowns.

For me, however – a newly anointed adult – mid August means nothing more than insanely hot days where I don’t want to leave the house because I am so depressed that I am not going back to school in two weeks. No welcome week to look forward to. No reuniting with friends after 3 months apart. No dollar pitchers on a Wednesday night.

Nope, just another fucking day to get up at 5:30, go to the gym and head into my office where I have no windows and no contact to the outside world only to return home to my (fabulous) apartment and do even more work before going to bed and starting it all again. Hell, if it weren’t for the JC Penny back-to-school ads that show up in movie theaters, I wouldn’t even know it was mid-August to begin with!

Without a school year to look forward to, days blend into weeks, which blend into months and before I knew it, the summer is gone and I still look like (a well-dressed) Casper the Ghost. Read More »

One of the most annoying things about college is moving every year. Not only do you finally get comfortable in your new pad only to have to pick up and move to another one, but you also realize how much crap you have. And if you are like me you get annoyed with all the packing and throw a lot of your stuff away.

Which makes for quite an expensive pile of trash. Add that to all your neighbors doing the same thing and you have yourself a nice little collection of goodies; a lot of it still in very good shape. Good enough, some argue, to take for themselves.

Who are those people? Well, the Freegans, of course. I was first introduced to Freegan culture while reading an article in the New York Times the other day. “Freegans are scavengers of the developed world, living off consumer waste in an effort to minimize their support of corporations and their impact on the planet, and to distance themselves from what they see as out-of-control consumerism.” Read More »