I was out at the bar last night (on a weeknight, I know! Who do I think I am?! A college student?!) and ran into a friend of my ex.

We started talking and as we sat down together at a table in the corner, she looked at me in all seriousness and asked, “So, are you ok?”

I thought maybe she heard about my massive PMS cramps or the fact that my recent mild-obsession with running had left me with some serious blisters on the bottom of my feet.

After all, the boy and I broke up months ago and – as anyone who knows the truth knows – I ended things with him; the thought that this is what she was referring to never crossed my mind.

“Yeah, I mean, the blisters make it a bitch to walk in these heels, but this Amstel Light is totally numbing the pain.”

Her uncomfortable giggle made me realize that my feet were not the focus of her sympathy. She mentioned something about the boy and how it had to sorta suck when he dumped me. And something about how I must be sad about it because I can’t seem to stop calling him, no matter how many times he ignores me and never calls me back.

Insert the sound of tires coming to a screeching halt.

WHAT?! Read More »

It is pretty much mid-August already, and for you lucky bastards heading back to school in the fall, it is time for the back-to-school insanity: Back-to-school sales. Back-to-school packing. Back-to-school planning. Back-to-school countdowns.

For me, however – a newly anointed adult – mid August means nothing more than insanely hot days where I don’t want to leave the house because I am so depressed that I am not going back to school in two weeks. No welcome week to look forward to. No reuniting with friends after 3 months apart. No dollar pitchers on a Wednesday night.

Nope, just another fucking day to get up at 5:30, go to the gym and head into my office where I have no windows and no contact to the outside world only to return home to my (fabulous) apartment and do even more work before going to bed and starting it all again. Hell, if it weren’t for the JC Penny back-to-school ads that show up in movie theaters, I wouldn’t even know it was mid-August to begin with!

Without a school year to look forward to, days blend into weeks, which blend into months and before I knew it, the summer is gone and I still look like (a well-dressed) Casper the Ghost. Read More »

One of the most annoying things about college is moving every year. Not only do you finally get comfortable in your new pad only to have to pick up and move to another one, but you also realize how much crap you have. And if you are like me you get annoyed with all the packing and throw a lot of your stuff away.

Which makes for quite an expensive pile of trash. Add that to all your neighbors doing the same thing and you have yourself a nice little collection of goodies; a lot of it still in very good shape. Good enough, some argue, to take for themselves.

Who are those people? Well, the Freegans, of course. I was first introduced to Freegan culture while reading an article in the New York Times the other day. “Freegans are scavengers of the developed world, living off consumer waste in an effort to minimize their support of corporations and their impact on the planet, and to distance themselves from what they see as out-of-control consumerism.” Read More »

Graduation is over. Your itchy and unflattering cap and gown are hung nicely in the back of your closet. You and your best friends huddle around your digital camera on the living room couch for the last time and look at pictures from graduation. You laugh and you cry (unless you are a guy, in which case you punch each other) as you reflect on all your great times together.

It is hard to imagine living without these awesome people.

But, you just might have to.

Everyone is now going in different directions and will soon be spread across the country starting their post college lives. Everyone will have new jobs, new friends and new people to take absurd selfies with (though this time during happy hour instead of at your house party). Sure, there is AIM, Facebook and free nights and weekends on your cell phone, but who is to say that these people won’t dump you the minute they hit the real world? Read More »

Everyone knows that sex without a condom is better than with that thin latex lining. According to guys it “feels amazing” and is “probably the best thing on earth.” But we also know that no matter how good it is (better than fat free cheese cake for sure), it isn’t good enough to risk getting pregnant and spending our days playing peek-a-boo instead of beer pong.

Enter the birth control pill.

Seems like the perfect fix. 99.9% effective (when taken correctly, ladies) and no annoying de-sensitizing barrier to get in the way of some good old fashioned sex. It is probably the best thing to be invented since the wheel (though I would argue the Oh-My-Bod is totally up there), so it always comes as a huge surprise to people when I say that I really truly hate taking the pill.

“WHAT? WHY? HOW??!” you ask. Here are my top 10 reasons: Read More »

It always worked on TV. When Donna Martin and David Silver broke up on 90210, they stayed friends. When Ross and Rachel broke up on Friends, they were eventually fine hanging out with the group.

So is it any wonder that I always held out hope that the same things were possible for me?

Despite the fact that everyone told me differently, I always thought that my ex and I could defy all odds and stay friends long after our year long relationship came to an end. After all, it didn’t end badly. It just ended. Read More »

College is officially over. Not like, “I did the whole graduation thing and I’m spending my summer hanging with my girls” over. No, I mean really over. “Nine to five” over. “No Tiki Tuesdays” over.I started my job.

I wake up before the sun rises every morning. I get home as the sun is setting. I sit at a desk all day doing work. And I can’t wear jeans.

I know that the whole point of college was to prepare me for this point, but I have to say…I really prefer the preparation period. This whole real-world thing is nothing like I thought it was (based completely on the MTV show…is that false advertising or what?!). In fact, it is the complete opposite life in the institution whose purpose was to get me ready for this exact period in my life.

Don’t believe me? See for yourself: Read More »

Finals are just around the corner. Job interviews are being had. Apartments in new cities are being looked for.

Holy shit. College is ending.

And I am having a serious breakdown.

1. What the hell am I going to do with my English degree?

2. When am I going to see my friends again?

3. Where am I going to live?

4. How am I going to support myself without the help of my dad (who I have totally wrapped around my finger, might I add)?

5. What am I going to do when the college life I have gotten so accustomed to is over?

I know that these are things most people thought about months ago (especially the job stuff!), but I am really bad at accepting reality. Like the fact that everyone can tell my Marc Jacobs bag is fake. I like to pretend that everything is fine. In my world, if I think something is true then it must be true. So for awhile, I pretended like college wasn’t ending. Instead, this was just another year leading into yet another summer. Read More »