We all agree that Lindsay Lohan is a train wreck. But can we really blame her for being so messed-up when she’s had to deal with parents like Michael and Dina Lohan?

Michael has been acting especially awful lately—he keeps leaking recordings of phone calls with Lindsay and her mom to the media, supposedly because he’s worried about her. Right, because the best way to help your strung-out daughter is by releasing calls that you recorded without her knowledge to the national press, who have always been nothing but kind to her.

What a douche.

Thinking about Michael Lohan reminds us of other Hollywood dads who are certified d-bags. Jon Gosselin, Alec Baldwin, the Hoff… all of them are rich, famous, and majorly jerky. But which one of them deserves to be named the Douchiest Hollywood Dad of all? Tell us what you think in the poll below.

Jon Gosselin: Do we even need to list the reasons why this father of eight deserves to be named Douchemaster of the Century? His crimes against humanity are only made worse by the fact that he and M.Loh are apparently BFF. Shudder.

David Hasselhoff: Remember the video from 2007 of The Hoff wasted out of his mind, eating a hamburger on the floor as his daughter begs him not to drink anymore? We do. Douchetastic.

Alec Baldwin: We love Alec on 30 Rock, but that doesn’t change his awful parenting—he screamed at his daughter on her voicemail, saying that he didn’t care if she was “twelve years old, or eleven years old,” because she’s a “rude, thoughtless little pig.” Classy!

Jude Law: Don’t you just love how the British tabloids once called the Oscar-nominated actor “Rude Law”? Having an affair with your children’s nanny while dating the smoking hot Sienna Miller is definitely not polite behavior; we’d expect more from a Brit. Plus, rumor has it this dad hasn’t even met his newest love-child. Good work, champ. Even Lil Wayne is less of a dead-beat than you.

Billy Ray Cyrus: Oh, Billy. First you pose creepily with Miley in Vanity Fair, and then you let little Noah Cyrus leave the house looking like a common prostitute. We don’t care how achey and breaky your heart is—that’s just wrong.

So which dad is the douchiest? You decide:

Lil Wayne’s going to the big house.

Chris Brown hits the road.

Wanna get rid of those cramps?

John Mayer just wants to get stoned.

What has MTV done for women?

Entourage goes XXX? Sign me up!

“You know,” she said, “black on the outside, white on the inside.”

I gaped at her, trying to figure out what I could possibly say to that. She thought she was genuinely complimenting me. I mean, I don’t even like Oreos.

We had just gotten our SAT scores back and I had done really well, surprising even myself at how much knowledge cramming I had retained. But apparently my friend thought scoring well on a standardized test is something that doesn’t fit with the black race. I just changed the subject because I didn’t want to seem touchy or like a drama queen, but instances like these have happened to me so many times. I’m fed up!

Do I get classified as an Oreo because I’m a voracious reader (apparently all those SAT flashcards paid off)? Or because I might seem reserved when you first meet me? Or is because of one of the other billion facets of my personality? Yes, I would seriously contemplate selling my soul to be front and center at a Lil Wayne concert, but I also can’t help but belt out Taylor Swift songs when they come on the radio. Toni Morrison and Zora Neale Hurston both have works on my list of favorite literature, as do Shakespeare and Jodi Picoult. Oh, and if you see me out dancing, I might be bouncing around to the latest hip hop song, but I could just as easily be showing off some complicated salsa step I learned during the two years that I took salsa classes.

I’m not meant to be categorized or labeled. Try to put me in a box and I’ll do my best to claw my way out, because I just don’t belong in one.

I understand that people use phrases like these to joke around. I do have a sense of humor buried somewhere under the tirades and attempts at being politically correct. Still, the time I was called an Oreo fits in with other times people have acted like I, for some reason, don’t seem like a member of my race. “I don’t think of you as a black person,” is one I’ve gotten a few times. And then there’s the “you’re so pretty, you don’t even look like a black girl!” Uh, thanks?

I used to stay quiet when people would say things about my race that they thought would boost my ego, as though I should be happy if I didn’t fit in with black people. Well, my days of avoiding these confrontations are over. My silence insinuates that I agree with the statements people are making, and take pride in the fact that I’ve got a little “white” in me. And I definitely don’t. I’m proud of who I am. Even if I could wave a magic wand and change some part of me, it would never be my race.  I wouldn’t want my skin to be even a smidgen of a shade lighter.

In fact, the only thing I’d want is Beyonce’s derriere. But who wouldn’t?

Police find body, suspect it is Annie Le.

Hey. Kanye said sorry, people!

That means “having sex.”

Lil Wayne’s a dad…again.

Eat your way to beauty!

Need some workout inspiration? See what a year can do.

Ok, we get it. Megan Fox is hot.

Is that Kim Kardashian?!

Is there such a thing as the middle-school 15?

50 Cent’s got some beef with Lil Wayne.

Look who’s official. My, my, my. What a surprise.

Pretty sure there are more appropriate ways to honor 9/11

God, these couples are annoying.

Nothing says “I love you” quite like vajayjay bling.

Need a car? Now may be the best time to buy!

Don’t worry, Phelps; Lil Wayne loves the pot, too!

More fun pink products to add to your makeup bag.

What to expect from dating a geek.

The best “gift with purchase” deals on the web!

Jerry Springer is so over America’s Got Talent.

Put your money where your…jewelry is.

M.I.A. may give birth at the Grammy’s

Santa Claus is scary (but totally hilarious)!

Proposition 8, The Musical.

The perfect anti-flu remedy.

Check out the Bromance trailer. It’s gonna be good.

Is Spencer drugging Heidi!?

Self-mutilation takes on a new form.

Madonna is the new face of Gucci.

Ew, shag sweaters?

A few final exam tips.

Britney Spears- Circus:

“There’s only two types of people in the world. The ones that entertain, and the ones that observe.”

So opens the title track on Britney Spears’ latest CD, Circus. Britney is clearly in the first category. And this is the album we’ve all been waiting for. The one that marks the start of her comeback. Wait, wasn’t her last album supposed to be her comeback? Well, forget about that because this time it’s for real. If you happened to take an hour out of your life to watch to her MTV documentary on Sunday night, you’d probably say she appears to be back on track. Then again, we’ve seen that before. But if Circus is any indication of Britney’s well-being, it’s safe to say the girl is back on her game.

Songs like “Circus” and “Kill the Lights” chronicle the tough times Britney’s had being in the public eye, but they’re not downers in the least bit. She even squeezes in a song about motherhood (wait, remember she’s a mom?) right at the end called “My Baby.” Let’s just hope she actually remembers that she has two babies. Circus is also loaded with songs I can see myself getting down to in the basement of my favorite bar. Clearly I’ve already done so with “Womanizer,” but “Leather and Lace” and “Mmm Papi” also have highly danceable beats.

Mr. Photographer? I think Britney’s finally ready for her close-up.

Akon- Freedom:

How can you not like Akon’s distinct, synthesized voice? His newest album, Freedom, features the hit single “Right Now (Na Na Na),” which I was just dancing to on Friday night. And while I’m always up for jamming to some Akon, it’s the special guests on the album that really make Freedom what it is. With collaborators like Wyclef Jean, T-pain, Lil’ Wayne, and Young Jeezy, there’s no way this album could be bad. You know everyone is going to memorize “Holla Holla” singing, “That’s why I’m tryna’ holla holla…let me holla at you girl”

Besides all the holla’ing, the album’s actually quite nice when you sit down and listen to the lyrics. Who knew Akon was such a sensitive soul? I have to say I kind of miss Wyclef Jean when he’s not around, so I was pretty thrilled to hear him on Akon’s “Sunny Day,” a song about leaving the ghetto life behind for a happier life. And then there’s a whole song about a girl being “so damn beautiful,” appropriately titled, “Beautiful.”

I’m not saying Akon’s got staying power, but I am saying I’d dance to his music any day.

Music From Degrassi: The Next Generation:

Maybe you don’t watch Degrassi. I won’t judge you if you don’t, but I will say you’re missing out (we’ll save that chat for another time). But even if you’ve never seen the show in your life, you’ll probably still fall in love with the show’s soundtrack. The only problem? The best of the music is so cool, you might already own most of it. From Paramore’s “Misery Business” to “Neighbors” from The Academy Is, most of these tracks are pure treadmill music, which is always a plus in my opinion.

But I’m sure there are some tracks you don’t own and may never have heard of. Much like the show, the music on the Degrassi soundtrack is predominantly directed toward teenagers. But who doesn’t enjoy teen music? All Too Much sings about liking someone as “More Than a Friend” and All Time Low croons emo-ish songs about first breakdowns and bad DJs. No matter who you are, the Degrassi soundtrack will help you remember a simpler time when high school really was the end of the world.

I’d take a break from watching Degrassi to listen to the Degrassi soundtrack. But only until I start feeling like I’m going to slit my wrists. Then it’s back to watching the show.

Amy Winehouse is up to her usual snorting, shooting-up, smoking, swallowing antics, but this time there are others involved besides her and her junkie boyfriend.

A British couple has pleaded guilty to selling Amy (ample amounts?) of cocaine and ecstasy after releasing a video to The Sun newspaper of her smoking crack. Conveniently, when the police raided the couple’s home they were lucky enough to find a list of celebrities they supplied with drugs.

Unfortunately, the list hasn’t been made public so College Candy compiled our own list of the usual suspects. These celebs MAY (or may not) have been on the couple’s druggie list:

Lil’ Wayne – LW once said he was “so high I could eat a star.” We’re guessing he ordered one of everything …

Willy Nelson – A proud spokesperson of the mary jane…check out some other celebs who’ve been caught tokin’…

Whitney Houston – Crack is whack?! I don’t think she really believes that…

Bobby Brown- He’ll have whatever Whitney’s havin’…

Andy Dick- He is definitely huffing something…not quite sure what tho?

Matthew Perry – Could Chandler Bing use some vicoden??

Kate “I’ll have some coke” Moss – and no she doesn’t mean the fizzy beverage…

Lindsey Lohan- …she showed up with Kate

Any other celebs you think were found on this list?

Election day is tomorrow, but the voting has already begun.

Simon Cowell gets dumped.

No matter who wins tomorrow, fashion will make its way to the White House

Did Lil Wayne die? WTF?

Need some help with time management?

Top 10 classic sneakers that never go out of style.

Yay! Free Starbucks for voters!

Organic makeup must-haves.

Cindy Crawford is kinda old, but still looks better than me.

Campus theft is on the rise. Protect yourself!