Our friends over at TMZ got ahold of the Lohan family Christmas card (see it here) and despite LiLo’s unnaturally blonde hair, everything looks pretty normal. Too normal, in fact. Where is the drama? The framed restraining orders? The sleeveless mesh shirt?

Where is Michael Lohan?

Turns out he couldn’t make it to the family photo shoot because he was busy attending his court-ordered vacation at a rehab center in Florida. While I’d love to say that he’s a calm and rational man, capable of understanding why he was left out of the family card, I can’t.

So here are a few predictions on how I think he’ll react:

initiating the gallery...

Singing is a sensitive topic, and very few of us can really do it. Once, my best friends attempted to ban me from singing in the car… rude.

The issue is that some people use their fame to jumpstart a singing career that should never have even popped into their pretty little heads. Not everyone can make the seamless transition from acting to singing sensation like Jennifer Lopez (props girl!). Take a gander at these lovely ladies who sang, but really shouldn’t have. At least their career flops have resulted in hilarious music videos with some pretty terrible dancing. Bless their hearts.

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Every summer, until I was 14, I would beg my parents to send me to sleepaway camp. I would promise I wouldn’t call home and told them I could handle being in the woods for a couple of weeks. And every summer I got the same answer, no. So I did what any other pre-teen would do, hung out at the mall, hit up the beach, and watched movies that made me feel like I was at summer camp.

Now before I go on, I should tell you I finally got my experience at sleepaway camp, I worked as a Unit Leader for an entire summer at a girl scout camp in Virgina. And can I just say, what a rip off! Besides having the exact cabins as Parent Trap (we almost put one of the counselors furniture on the roof just because) it was NOTHING like the movies. So if you missed out, don’t worry…you didn’t miss much.

Still, every time I see camp rock (my sister’s 12, she watches it..I just happen to be in the same room), or any other crazy camp movie I can’t help but wish I was 10 again so I could have my very own camp adventure.  So, since it’s almost that time of year again, here are 6 movies that made me want to go to camp:

I can’t orgasm during sex….

J. Biebs did WHAT to the paps!?

Hahaha…this is funny

Male celebs who have jumped the shark

Guess who is hosting the mtvU Woodies

10 ideas for original theme parties

LiLo’s newest message to her crazy padre

To match or not to match makeup

Here’s the real reason they broke up

Are today’s teens less horny?

Do man crushes really exist?

Men dish on their best and worst gifts

7 period problems you shouldn’t ignore

The ultimate holiday movie mix-ups mash-up

Send some hilarious holiday cards

What does high fashion have to do with goodwill shopping?

This is seriously my new favorite song

LiLo is getting violent in rehab

Ryan Reynolds dishes on ScarJo

Last minute gifts from the drugstore

3 reasons he didn’t call you back

Start working out now if  you want to be fit in your 40s

Wanna see some reality stars fight?

Congrats LiLo!

Hot sex tips for the holidays

Makeup fails

Win an iPad!!!!

The best fragrances to buy a guy

People can’t stop talking about this XMAS card

8 things every girl should know about stds

7 celebs we’re so over

Taylor Swift admits WHAT!?

How sexbots will change the world

Hilarious photos

I want to give my boyfriend an ultimatum

When can I expect the guy to make the post-sex call?

Lilo gets a job!

Who is Natalie Portman’s newest sex scene with?

An open letter to NBC about their changes

Who censored Tina Fey’s speech?

A Facebook FAIL

Candy cane cocoa sounds amazing

If you like leopard, you’ll love these

Lilo reunites with her dad

Don’t get inked Harry Potter!

This girl has too much time on her hands

Great road trip movies you need to see

Is Michael Jackson’s new song real?

What kind of woman marries Joe Francis

I'm so.... tired.

And another one bites the dust.  It was announced today that Disney’s pop sensation Demi Lovato would be leaving her scheduled music tour with the Jonas Brothers and checking into rehab instead.  The official word is that she’ll be seeking treatment for emotional and physical issues, though insiders are saying her list of ailments include an eating disorder, cutting, and possibly a cocaine addiction.  So many achievements, and all before her 19^th birthday!  Looks like we might have another Lindsay Lohan on our hands with this one.

Seriously, though, what is it with Disney child stars coming completely unhinged at so young an age?  Demi is hardly the first to go from squeaky clean teen dream to coke snorting crazyface.  Though she’s got a while before working her way up in the ranks of Mickey’s family of train wrecks, God love her, she’s off to a good start.  Here’s what she’s up against:

Reigning Queen of the Disney Slums: Lindsay Lohan

I’ve lost count of how many times she’s been in and out of rehab, but despite her best mediocre efforts, something just isn’t working.  Is she there now, making another botched attempt at sobriety?  Is she in Kitson spending money she doesn’t have?  Is she at her on-again/off-again girlfriend’s house?  Is she famewhoring with her momager and 40 year-old little sister? Who knows!  One thing’s for certain, LiLo is absolutely not the precious redhead we fell in love with back in the Parent Trap days. Read More »

So our favorite drug-totin’ galpal LiLo is taking a quick vacay from rehab tomorrow to chat with the judge about her jail time.  Rumor has it that Lilo’s team is going to argue that she needs to stay in rehab because she’s making like so much progress. And here at CC headquarters, we’re totally on Team Rehab. (Not that we need it….) The fact that she’s related to Dina AND Michael Lohan is enough of a reason to put her in 24/7 therapy for the rest of her life, let alone the whole lil drug issue.

In fact, we don’t think she should ever step foot in jail even after she’s good and clean. It’s a total waste of time for everyone involved. (Well except TMZ. But we can’t always be looking out for them, you know?) We have a few other productive alternatives to Linds serving jail time –  things that will really teach her a hard lesson while also paying back her debt to society.

1. Make a Parent Trap Sequel – Not only was this the most action-filled, heartwrenching, laugh-till-it-hurts movie ever made, but it truly showcased just how talented Lindsay is when it comes to acting. She played two parts and totally had me believing that Annie and Hallie were two different people. Since Hollywood is updating every other movie ever made, we thought it would be great to get a 3D IMAX sequel in the works. Is Annie in grad school!? Is Hallie an ear piercer at a mall kiosk?! Not only are we going to catch up with our fave twinsies (sorry Winklevi Twins, you just can’t compete), but we’re going to get to see LiLo show off her acting chops once again. Because this time around, she’s playing all the parts. Hallie, Annie, Martin, Chessie, Mom, Dad, and yes, Grandfather.

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