All’s quiet on the Hollywood front (most likely because Lindsay is rockin’ the orange jumpsuit). This week has been surprisingly dull with the exception of Blake Lively’s boobs at Comic-Con. Although without the Twilight trio and Daniel Radcliffe, even that nerd-fest was a bummer.

Snoooooze.

Worth a Venti Unsweetened Iced Coffee

1. Wyclef for President? Of Haiti that is. The star has been contributing to the Haiti relief effort since that massive earthquake hit back in January, and he has submitted paperwork to enter the upcoming election. The Haiti native is supposed to be making a formal announcement soon. It’s nice to see celebs doing good!

2. Diablo Cody is a momma! The screenwriter had a son named Marcello this week. You may know Diablo for Juno and Jennifer’s Body (two great movies…watch them now). Diablo’s married to Chelsea Lately staffer Dan Maurio. You can also catch her on her new internet series “Red Band Trailer” where she interviews celebs like sexy Adam Brody!

3. In other pregnancy news, Christina Applegate also has a bun in the oven! This is great news for the actress as she just recently beat breast cancer. She showed off her new baby bump at the premiere of Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore and looked fab!

4. Linda Hogan is engaged to her son 21-year-old bf, Charlie Hill. Charlie is only a year younger than her daughter, Brooke, and went to high school with her! Awk.ward. They are getting married some time next summer. If the two are happy, more power to them, but for some reason this seems like a publicity stunt since the Hogans haven’t gotten press since their disaster of a reality show went off the air.

4. Casey Affleck is filing an extortion lawsuit against Amanda White who accused him of sexual harassment while he was filming Joaquin Phoenix’s documentary, I’m Still Here: The Lost Year of Joaquin Phoenix. Affleck’s legal team is claiming that White accused him of sexual harassment because she wanted more money from the film. While I don’t understand the whole Joaquin Phoenix-becoming-rapper-publicity-stunt, I do hope this mess gets sorted out soon.

5. Cheryl Tweedy (Cole) and boyfriend Derek Hough are reportedly moving in together. That was fast! Cheryl just recently split from her ex-husband and was diagnosed with malaria early this month. Reports say that Cheryl asked Derek to move in with her, but he’s also looking for his own place in London as well. Slow down, honey; we don’t want you going through anymore heartbreak.

Drink some warm milk and go to bed.

1. Rihanna is set to star (yes, act) in Battleship with Alexander Skarsgard and Taylor Kitsch. I’m sorry, but last time I checked, she was a pop star. I should be cast instead!

2. Rachel Bilson is coming back to How I Met Your Mother!! She’ll be returning as Cindy, Ted’s love interest. How exciting! The only thing that can make me happier is for her and Hayden Christensen to get back together.

3. Edi Gathegi, better known as Laurent from Twilight, will be mutated in X-Men: First Class. He’ll play Darwin, who has the ability to evolve and adapt into any environment. Cool!

4. Isaiah Mustafa (the sexy Old Spice guy) is going to be on Chuck (eek!) and will be in a movie with Jennifer Aniston (EEK!). The movie stars Jen and Jason Batemen, and Isaiah will be playing a cop. Hopefully a shirtless cop. SO EXCITED!

5. You can’t deny it, Russel Brand is hot. (Editor’s Note: I’ll deny that till the day I die.)

It’s always Halloween at Michael Jackson’s house.

Cheating could kill you. Really.

False eyelashes are fabulous (and not as difficult as you think!).

Gwen Stefani and baby Zuma. So. cute.

The Humane Society should have something to say about this, right?

Linda Hogan is creepy.

How to use Wikipedia intelligently.

Learn what you are really craving.

Croc bags that even you can afford.

Budget friendly (dorm) decorating!

Bill Clinton supports Barack Obama.

Paris buys a brothel…surprise surprise

Becks and Posh are leaving us…but they’re coming back! PROMISE!

Move over, Palin! Obama’s taking over Saturday night!

Zac + Johnny= hotttt pirates!

Janet’s not making ends meet?

Audrina in a dunk tank. ’nuff said.

Some candy for the men…Angelina’s boobies!

What is with the Hogan parents dating people that look like their children?!

Aunt Becky’s boobies are timeless…

Mistrial shmistrial – Brit Brit’s lookin gooood

Please, please go away.

I’m not asking much. I’m just really tired, Hogans. I’m really, really tired of seeing your creepy mugs (and arms and abs…Linda, cover it up!) all over the place, doing and saying more ridic things by the minute.

So, like, two years ago, you were happily filming VH1′s Hogan Knows Best. You seemed like a normal enough family. Hell, that was the whole premise.

And then, It Began.

First there was the separation. Linda and Hulk, I thought you guys were forever! Well, frankly, I was sorry to hear it. I felt bad for you that things had gone awry.

Then Nick got in an accident. At the tender age of 17, he had his first precious DUI.  Not only that, but he managed to take out his best friend, putting him into a lifetime coma. It is a very sad story. However, Nick didn’t seem to feel bad for his friend at all. In fact, he has been too busy whining about jail and how awful it is. Yes, jail is horrible. That’s the idea. Don’t drive drunk and ruin your friend’s life.

But, look, he’s a kid. Not only that, he’s a celeb kid. I figured maybe he just needed a little tough love.

But then – THEN – Linda, you said you had it worse than the other boy’s mom! Your son is in jail for a few months, Lin. The other boy will never recover. I can’t even believe you thought it, no less said it out loud for all the world to hear.

And then (Hulk) some remarks were made about this situation making both Nick and the other boy better people! Honey. HONEY. THE OTHER BOY WILL NEVER RECOVER. And it’s not his fault Nick was driving a bajillion miles an hour with alcohol in his system. How is he benefiting from this situation at all?

In the meantime, Hulk finds himself applying sunscreen to his daughter’s private parts, all while dating little Brookey’s doppleganger, Jennifer McDaniel. Hulky! Why are you perving on your offspring?! Haven’t you got enough trouble?

And Linda is dating a 12-year-old. Okay, fine, he’s 19. But he also happens to be a former classmate of Brooke and Nick’s, just one grade below B and one above N.

And, yes, that’s gross, but Brooke! How can you speak out against your mom like that and then add a passive-aggressive assertion of support? Brooke, you haven’t done anything that wrong. You’re certainly the least offensive of the Hogan bunch right now, and, frankly, that scares me, because, you attempted to make it as a pop star.

In conclusion, you’re all terribly frightening and I wish you’d go away.

Also, please stop with the buffed out Aryan gig. We get it already.

Love and pleas for mercy,

Sara

[Photo courtesy of http://www.hilaryshepherd.com]

This pig was afraid of dirt (seriously). So someone gave it ADORABLE galoshes.

I would wear these. I would probably sprain my ankle every two steps, but I would wear them.

Linda Hogan is dating a 19-year-old kid. Oh yeah, he’s also her daughter’s CLASSMATE. …and his hair is disturbingly blonde.

Martha! You’re being very suggestive!

Ashanti, and her entire marketing team, are idiots.

Ashlee Simpson-Wentz is being treated very well by pregnancy

50 Worst Sex Scenes in film history. Watch at your own discretion (but not at work. Totally NSFW)