Helloooo major fall cuteness at JC Penney!

Justin Bieber’s memoir has no words.

Is there another Britney album on its way?

Joe Simpson is the worst manager of all time.

Lindsay’s rehab center might be harder than jail.

Is this guy a serial photobomber?

What could Justin Bieber possibly have to say?

Would you drink poop coffee?

Wait, Lindsay was using METH?

Lady Gaga performs a controversial show.

Kristen Stewart’s got a message for her haters.

Boycott BP by adjusting your spending.

There are some hot new Eclipse photos out!

Why did Idol edit Lady Gaga’s performance?

Print isn’t dying, thanks to this genre.

Soccer refs take their jobs quite seriously.

Choose a hairstyle already, Kristen Stewart.

OK so maybe Lilo isn’t cleaning herself up.

As the week comes to a close, I am overflowing with pressing questions. Why is it 75 degrees on the east coast halfway through October? What the hell am I going to be for Halloween? How long is it going to take for this milkshake obsession to catch up with my thighs?

I’ll find solace in knowing I’m not the only one asking away.

Here are some of the other questions we have all toyed with over the course of this week:

-Can we find the courage to make the first move?

-Will my dad notice of I charge one Glitter Pocket Cardigan on his credit card?

-Can we summon the motivation to organize my closet?

-Should we really keep our mouth shut about our bff’s douche bag boyfriend?

-Is one more celeb going to come out with their own alcohol?

-Does that guy seriously not realize he has moose-knuckle?

-Is it crazy that setting up a bowling alley in the dorm hallway sounds freakin’ awesome?

-Where is this party at? And can I go? Read More »

Dear Lindsay,

Word on the street is that they’re trying to make you go to rehab and you say no, no, no. While Amy Winehouse turned that jam into a monster hit, do you really want it to be the theme song to your E! True Hollywood Story? I have to be brutally honest with you, Linds; you’re not looking good. We all see that damaged, over-processed hair and all that chain smoking as if your life depends on it.

Remember when you used to look like this? Now, you’ll be lucky if you don’t crack that orange, leathery face of yours.

And here’s an FYI: just because pills are “prescribed” doesn’t mean you can down them like Tic-Tacs. Have we learned nothing from the loss of Heath Ledger last year? Granted Heath was a sexier blond than you will ever strive to be, you don’t have to drown your sorrows in a water bottle filled with vodka. Yes, we’ve caught on to you.

So what’s next for you, LiLo? We are all waiting with bated breath. Do you honestly want to say you hit your peak as a Mean Girl? That your last stab at acting not only didn’t make it to theaters, but went straight to ABC Family!?

Can’t you see that you’ve hit rock bottom? I thought it was blatantly obvious when you accepted the role in I Know Who Killed Me. Perhaps you were trying to relive the twin glory that you received from The Parent Trap, but playing the part of a strip club amputee and her equally mutilated twin sister was not your finest hour. And from I’ve seen of your pole-dancing skills, I’d urge you not to quit your day job. Oh wait – you’ve already done that. Read More »