FORGET THESE TRASHY LADIES! CHECK OUT 6 REALITY STARS THAT DESERVE TIME IN THE SPOTLIGHT!

Not that I have a real say in the matter, but I’m not a fan of females who take advantage of their positions of power, influence, and/or fame.  Too many young girls are watching.  Too many women trust in the media for a sound representation of what they should be doing, wearing, feeling, and looking like.

On the topic of molding minds, Hollywood women have masses of ‘regular’ women at their fingertips, which is gross and unnecessary, but true.  I’m not saying women in the limelight need to change their behavior.  But those “masses of ‘regular’ women” should be aware of some of the worst role models out there right now.  In no particular order:

1.  Heidi Montag

It’s really not just Heidi Montag.  There’s a group of reality-tv/nothing stars out there who all belong on this list, but she irks me the most, therefore she gets to be the title name.  The problem with these girls is this:  all of their emphasis is put on looks, fame, and fortune and none of it (as far as I can tell) is put on authentic talent, merit, or ambition with a good-conscious.  I’m not impressed by status-whores and I don’t think you should be, either.  These kinds of girls teach other girls how to be catty, using, manipulative, and overall drama queens.

2.  Katy Perry

Once upon a time, I thought Katy Perry was cool.  I thought she was a girl speaking her mind and telling off that emo ex-boyfriend of hers.  After hearing more of her music and watching more of her interviews, my mind has changed.  This isn’t just about her.  This is about every ‘shock-rock’ type female celebrity out there.  Avril Lavigne, Britney Spears, Pink, etc.  If you’re wondering why I’m picking a bone with girls like these, well, it’s easy:  Girls shouldn’t be taught that ‘acting out’ is ‘cool’.  I’m not saying it’s always bad, but c’mon.  Katy Perry has got to be sick of dressing up like a pin-up girl for every freaking thing she does by now, but she still romps around in barely nothing, repeating lyrics that were clearly written more for attention than anything else.

3.  Lindsay Lohan

I’m not even, generally speaking, a Lohan hater.  But on the topic of role models we should be ignoring, she makes the cut.  From drug binges to starving herself to a scary-thin frame to always making headlines with drama, actresses like these aren’t the kinds we should be putting much stock in when it comes to examining our own lives.

I’m not saying these girls are terrible and I’m certainly not trying to exclude other bad female role models from this list.  This is just a beginning to a long list of people we shouldn’t be comparing ourselves to.  Some women, (cough cough, Michelle Obama), really have their act together.  All I’m saying is that we need to do a whole lot more of looking up to those kinds of women and a whole lot less of looking up to the kinds of women listed above.

[Photo courtesy of Photo Bucket.]

It sounds like this year, people will be tuning in moreso for the hysterical commercials and the halftime entertainment, rather than the actual football. So far, it has been announced that Jennifer Hudson will sing the National Anthem (meh), Faith Hill will perform a pregame show (over it), and Bruce Springsteen has snagged the highly coveted spot as the halftime performer. I’ve got nothing against the Boss, but if you’re going to get people to tune in to watch the Cardinals, you’re going to have to offer them some excitement at some point during the game.

Where’s Janet? Bring in some gratuitous nipple shots if you really want to please the public.

That said, I would like to petition the National Football League to consider taking me on as their halftime party planner. Here are some sample line-ups that I would suggest to really keep the party that is 2009 going strong.

1. Lady Gaga

Now here’s a breakout star that could get all of Ray-J Stadium on their feet. In a Times description of the woman behind the hottest dance track of 2008, Ms. Gaga was given madd props: “In combining music, fashion, art and technology, Lady GaGa evokes Madonna when she was good, Gwen Stefani circa Hollaback Girl, Kylie 2001 or Grace Jones right now.” There you have it, folks. The next Madonna, the drug-free Winehouse, the sane Britney, the non-annoying Fergie. F*ck the pigskin, Tampa. Get off your feet on February 1 and Just Dance.

Not hot enough: Throw in a cameo by the other hot biatch of 2008, Katy Perry. Who said football has to be a “guy thing”?

2.  Coldplay

They might not offer the over-the-top splendor that Lady Gaga could bring (you know home girl would have plenty of pyrotecnics), but Viva la Vida was the most downloaded album on iTunes last year, so they’ve got something going for them.  Wanna make the crowd really go wild? Figure out a way for Joe Satriani to take the stage and intersperse his riffs from “If I Could Fly” with Chris Martin and company’s title song from the album.

3.  Madonna and Janet.

Both of them are fading from the spotlight, but their names remain notorious.  Imagine if we paired up the Queen of Pop and Miss Jackson (if you’re nasty).  Besides, Madge caused quite a stir in 2003 when she locked lips with both Britney Spears and Christina Aquilera, and more recently has made headlines since a 30-year-old Playboy portrait has surfaced and is set for auction.  Meanwhile, Miss J. is probably one of the most memorable performers in Super Bowl history.  Do you see the lines you could draw from this partnership?

Bonus: Throw Justin into the mix.  Have him sing his part of “4 Minutes” and then have Madonna rip Janet’s top off (because Justin doing it again would be way to predictable).

4.  Michael Jackson, with backup dancers from a Filipino prison.

If you haven’t seen this video, you just won’t get it.  But that would be the performance of the century.

5. All of the F*ck Ups from Last Year

It would be like a updated version of “We are the World.” Let Brit-Brit introduce the posse, since (kudos, Brit) she has cleaned up her act, and then throw Wino, LezLo, SaMANtha, and Miley onstage (do I read Perez too much?).  Hey, at least it will be funnier than any commercial they throw at us.  To close the performance, invite the Twilight cast up, make it look like they are going to do something, and then cancel the rest of the halftime show.

6. Beyonce and Jay-Z. A Lover’s Duet.

Beyonce’s single, “Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)” has been blowing up the charts, and even inspired a satire on SNL.  What’s more, she got music mogul Jay-Z to actually put a ring on it.  The bonus? All the rap stars travel with a posse, so there would be a good chance of other celebs popping up throughout the performance. Hey, Beyonce and Mariah partied with their husbands in St. Bart’s over New Years…

The Pregnant Man – Thomas Beattie became the sensation of the world in April when he appeared on Oprah to defend his choice to have a child as a transgendered man. Sticking up for your beliefs? Awesome, and definitely commendable. Eventually turning into a fame slut and marketing out your second pregnancy? Not cool. Now pregnant with his second child, Beattie has already cemented a book deal on his experience and been interviewed a second time as a ‘Barbara Walters Exclusive.’ One child is a miracle. A second one immediately afterwards is a marketing scheme.

Batsh** Insane Celebrities Across The Media - Britney, Lindsey, and others: we’re talking to you. 2008 was the year of the mental millionaire, with the world playing a captive audience to the tragic, bizarre, and sometimes just eerie behavior of celebrities. We watched Britney Spears struggle to put her life back together after divorce, Lindsey Lohan battling various addictions, and Scarlett Johansson crossing the borderline into stalker-ish about Barack Obama. Here’s the real scoop: an estimated 57.7 million adults are suffering from a diagnosable mental illness in the United States alone. What makes these celebrities any different from these people who are suffering in private besides their income and the paparazzi that shadow them? Watching people suffer is definitely a trend that shouldn’t cross over into ’09.

“Reality” Dating Shows - Now that Flavor Flav has finally hung up his clock and gone off the air, there are about thirty shows taking his place, and they’re spreading like cockroaches. Tila Tequila, the ‘Ikki Twins,’ and others are taking over Vh1 and MTV mercilessly, swamping our televisions with drunken fights (actually funny to watch), and pointless drama. Who makes their boyfriends/girlfriends eat nasty pig parts and do bizarre things in the name of love? These loveless actors do. Some dating shows range from the creepy (Date My Mom) to the outright postmortem (The Bachelor), but either way, they all need to go.

Political Ignorance/Apathy – In the year of the historical election, political action was awesome and political apathy was absolutely the anti-cool. The worst of the worse were the nonpartisans who were both apathetic and uneducated about the election. Their “why should I bother to vote” statements were both inhibiting to the democratic tradition and simply irritating. Guaranteed to piss off people who were voting, the ‘Not Voting’ demographic drew on fallacies and the platforms that they didn’t really understand to prove why they weren’t going to vote. The election was basically a two horse race, but there were still other entries available as an alternate, so not voting at all was just not cool.

Guys in Girl Jeans – It’s creepy. It’s weird. It’s a guy shopping in the same section as you in PacSun. As you put down the pair of sunglasses you were looking at and openly stare, you realize he’s not just shopping for a shirt to give to his girlfriend. He’s holding three pairs of jeans in his hand, and there’s no girlfriend in sight. As you watch, he takes the jeans and starts walking to the dressing rooms. You are not witnessing a confused shopper. You’re witnessing the Girl Jean Phenomenon, a plague of 2008 pop culture, and a trend that needs to die on December 31st. Guys wearing our jeans is not cool or edgy. It’s just lame and, now, overplayed.

Saturday Night Live – Is it still going? It’s been in the process of becoming painfully unfunny in the years since Will Ferrell left, and now with the exit of Amy Poehler, we just need to euthanize it. A classic sketch show that began in 1975 with genuinely funny people, SNL has run over six hundred episodes of pure comedic bliss continuously for thirty-three years. As with all great series, though, the time has come to put SNL out of its misery before it becomes the kind of joke it used to make.

Churning Out Tween Pop Stars By The Dozen – If child enslavement was defined as being manufactured on a kids’ show and being shoved on the masses, Disney and Nickelodeon would be doing massive amounts of time in jail. The list of sugary sweet music artists includes, but definitely is not limited to The Jonas Brothers, Hannah Montana, Demi What’s-Her-Name, That Miranda Kid, and a host of others, few if any of whom have actual talent. But you wouldn’t know, because should you approach any method of media that is playing a song by them, you’ll be deafened instantly and hopelessly by the cacophony of shrieking that erupts. The Original Disney Channel Star, Hilary Duff, unfortunately started it all when she split from Disney in 2004 to pursue a solo career (which caused a big fuss, if I remember right). She was an original, at least for the Disney Channel. These cookie cutter kids? About as generic as it gets.

Agree or disagree? Think something else should have made the list? Voice your opinions below, and tell us what you think about the worst pop culture in 2008!

As a woman, I know we have a tendency to be rather catty at times. I’m not sure if it is nature or nurture, but it is there and sometimes it can get the best of us. Who is better to teach women the art of cattiness, than the women of Hollywood? We are constantly exposed to bickering women not only on TV and in the movies, but also in the celebreality of their day-to-day lives. The cattiness factor comes more often than not when a man is involved and the love triangle becomes a tug-of-war. (Please keep in mind, in most of these upcoming catty situations the guy is hardly worth it…except for maybe Brad.)

In December’s issue of Vogue, hitting stands next week, Jennifer Aniston discusses her feelings about Angelina Jolie providing a time-line for when she and Brad Pitt began having their affair (yes, while Jen and Brad were still married.) Jen said it was really “uncool” and “inappropriate” of Ang to discuss their affair, especially admitting the fact that she couldn’t wait to come to work during the filming of Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Poor Jen. She’s better off without him! Though he is mighty fine to look at…

Breaking up is hard to do, especially when ex-husband starts bangin’ your best friend. As was the case in with Heather Locklear, Richie Sambora, and Denise Richards. Locklear reportedly went crazy when she found out Richards was boning her ex-husband, Sambora. In the end, Richie lost both of the hot women in his life, Heather may have turned into a drunk and Denise has revitalized her career as a hollywood homewrecker. Bummer.

Lindsay Lohan. Enough said, right? She has been in the news for everything from drug abuse to turning gay, but there was a time when she was an innocent teenager whose boyfriend cheated on her. Lindsay and Hilary Duff were at each other’s throats calling each other immature and childish over a little spat over…get this: Aaron Carter! (teeheehee…come on girls, seriously?) Hilary went as far to say that she hated Lindsay. May not sound like much, but at Disney that is like a racial slur. Ouch!

Why anyone would ever date or even look at K-Fed, I’m not exactly sure. But, two women did and they even fought over the loser, which is even more difficult to imagine. Not only did Shar Jackson and Britney cat fight over K-Fed, they even had his gross babies (ok, ok they aren’t gross. They’re actually pretty cute). Britney stole Shar’s man…. and then she went crazy insane. Coincidence? I think not. K-Fed is the human version of ebola.

Where there is smoke, there always seems to be a blond hotel heiress. Paris Hilton once dated Rick Solomon and then Rick married Shannen Doherty. I guess Shannen didn’t want to make “movies” with Rick, so he started boinking Paris, again. Unfortunately, it was while he was still married to Shannen. Paris allegedly sent psycho messages to Shannen telling her to leave Rick alone. It appears that money doesn’t always bring happiness or sanity, but it will attract a greasy wanna-be amateur porn-king. I am glad I am poor.

Amy Winehouse is up to her usual snorting, shooting-up, smoking, swallowing antics, but this time there are others involved besides her and her junkie boyfriend.

A British couple has pleaded guilty to selling Amy (ample amounts?) of cocaine and ecstasy after releasing a video to The Sun newspaper of her smoking crack. Conveniently, when the police raided the couple’s home they were lucky enough to find a list of celebrities they supplied with drugs.

Unfortunately, the list hasn’t been made public so College Candy compiled our own list of the usual suspects. These celebs MAY (or may not) have been on the couple’s druggie list:

Lil’ Wayne – LW once said he was “so high I could eat a star.” We’re guessing he ordered one of everything …

Willy Nelson – A proud spokesperson of the mary jane…check out some other celebs who’ve been caught tokin’…

Whitney Houston – Crack is whack?! I don’t think she really believes that…

Bobby Brown- He’ll have whatever Whitney’s havin’…

Andy Dick- He is definitely huffing something…not quite sure what tho?

Matthew Perry – Could Chandler Bing use some vicoden??

Kate “I’ll have some coke” Moss – and no she doesn’t mean the fizzy beverage…

Lindsey Lohan- …she showed up with Kate

Any other celebs you think were found on this list?

Sex addiction is not about having a lot of sex or really, really enjoying it. Sex addiction is when someone’s sexual preoccupation causes their life to become unmanageable, demonstrated through a range of behaviors including pornography, voyeurism, masturbation and promiscuity. Over time, the behavior can become more intense as the addict’s need intensifies as they attempt to use sex to escape their problems.

In a case like Duchovny, whose addiction was to internet porn, simply having more sex with your partner will not satifsy the addiction. So much of the thrill and enjoyment lies in obtaining the sex and afterward, the addict often feels ashamed or embarrassed after the episode only to go on to repeat the behavior again and again because they cannot control their impulses.

Like drugs or alcohol, sex addiction dominates your life and is just as potentially destructive, as addicts may turn to prostitutes, go into tremendous debt, lose their jobs, put their health at risk and destroy relationships. It’s not a joke nor is it an excuse for infidelity.

If you’re curious and want to learn more or if you want to know where you stand, you can visit the sex addicts anonymous website or take the 45 questions assessment at sexhelp.com.

Because 2008 isn’t just the summer of expensive corn and Obama-rama, it’s also the summer of TMI. Over-sharing has become a form of communication for our generation; from blogging about bad dates, to blogging about our self-indulgent issues, to blogging purely to become famous. No matter who we are, we can become stars overnight by uploading naked photos, name-dropping about a wild party, or simply having an ounce of literary ability and a snarky way with words.

By late July, 2008, the percent of people in the US who haven’t seen a celebrity vajayjay flash or heard someone say, “dude, I’m gonna blog about this!” is monumentally small, and it seems like every day a new gossip or 24 hour news site pops up. However, amidst the clattering of fingers on keyboards and snapping of flashbulbs, I can’t help but wonder if this constant need to be seen and heard is actually doing us any good.

Is all this over-sharing about our drug, drink, and sexual exploits really helping women cultivate a strong, intelligent persona? Do we feel more empowered now that Britney, Lindsay, and Paris have made trashy the new black? Are our lives more complete now that we know what David Beckham had for breakfast?

These aren’t rhetorical questions. As a twenty-something myself, I really want to know:

In this age of over-sharing, are you confident about yourself and your image? Are you proud of how we as women have represented ourselves in the media?

Vote in our poll, and write in our comments — this is your chance to tell the world exactly how you feel.

Remember when Girls Gone Wild used to shame party girls across the country who had one too many body shots on Spring Break and had the bad luck to land in front of a camera? Since when has slutty behavior turned into a profitable asset and a celebrity vehicle? Mini Me’s lover is collecting big after a sex tape “somehow” leaked, and now Eliot Spitzer’s ex-whore is getting a REALITY TV SHOW. I can’t believe that we Americans will actually tune in to the lives of nutjobs like the Lohans, the Kardashians, and now, some hooker who happened to win the jackpot.

When Tila Tequila burst on the scene, she had a great gimmick: the first bisexual reality dating show. But after the Bobby Banhart breakup-scandal, and oh-so-predictable opposite-gender-choosing finale in season 2, there’s not much buzz left in Tequilaville. Bring in the hooker! If you thought Tila’s patented, “How will your parents react when they find out I’m bisexual?” act starts to get old, imagine the “How will your parents react when they find out I’m the whore that ruined Eliot Spitzer’s career?” segment.

Yes, Handprint Entertainment, the fine folks who bring the lives of Pamela Anderson and Nicole Ritchie to the small screen, are in talks with MTV to give Ashley Dupre a shot at love. Monica Lewinski must be green with envy. Sure, she got a book deal, but she could have found “true love” in front of millions of strangers, and the producers would probably have thrown in a mansion as well!

If the dating show falls through, I’d like to pitch some backup ideas to Dupre’s new producers:

1. Dupre’s Deal or No Deal- Combination dating-slash-game show: Dupre’s bachelors be able to buy some sex after their “one-on-one” dates. But what about after elimination?

2. Hooker and the Geek- 10 prostitutes and 10 geeks are paired up to learn from each other. The geeks teach the girls financial skills and politics (so they can find themselves their own Spitzer prototype), and, well, you can guess how the ladies reciprocate.

3. What Not to Wear: Escort Edition- I think the name says it all.

4. Real World: The Brothel- This is the true story of seven pimps and prostitutes picked to live in a house…

5. Are You Smarter than a Harlot?- Jeff Foxworthy would host this one for free!

6. The Slutty-real Life- Okay, so my Surreal Life pun needs work. But they can invite back reality skanks Trishelle Cannatella and Adrianne Curry, and let the STD’s begin!

Shows that probably won’t end up in TV Guide: Made: I Want to Have Sex for Money; So You Think You Can Screw; Celebrity F*** Club.

If programming catapults Ashley Dupre to the top of the celebutante ladder, why stop there? Throw in a record deal! If Brooke Hogan and Heidi Montag can cut an album, it might be a charttopping success! They can also add a movie deal, creating a modernized version of Pretty Woman… but in the end, instead of Richard Gere showing up with a limo, a money-hungry producer shows up with a TV contract.

Seriously, though, where are we going to go when this novelty wears off? How dirty is reality television going to get before draw the line? How many talentless nymphomaniacs are going to get rich while we struggle to pay off our student loans? I, personally, am sick of seeing these women re-objectify the gender every week and make a bad name for sexually liberated women who don’t need the cameras rolling 24/7. I prefer my walks of shame to go unrecorded, thank you very much.

Now how many of those are women?

According to an article from BBC News, female celebrities seem to bear the brunt of the world’s popular culture-related displeasure. A British poll stated that four of the top five most-hated celebrities were female and the top five most-loved celebrities were all male (strangely, Simon Cowell showed up on both lists).

If this poll is an accurate indication of the way societies view celebrity, there seems to be a misogynist slant against females that is fairly representative of the way women in general are viewed by the world. That is to say, female celebrities are vilified for the same reasons that females are vilified by culture as a whole: they are catty, or overly ambitious and assertive, or bad mothers, or too sensitive, or greedy. It doesn’t need to be pointed out that many of these qualities would be applauded in a man.

But before this goes too angry and feminist, the saddest and scariest part of the article was that most of the anger directed at females in the spotlight come not from men, but from other women. Women no doubt influenced by history and society’s unrealistic expectations of them, but women nonetheless.

This makes a good amount of sense, because women seem to be the ones most often consuming the sort of popular culture that features other women and are more likely to form strong opinions about women in entertainment. Perhaps it is because we are unsatisfied with the way that females like Lindsey Lohan and Paris Hilton represent our sex. But I’m inclined to think that it’s something a lot less noble.

As the article states,

“despite years of equal opportunities, the media – and the people who watch and read – prefer the stay-at-home mother over a woman who lives her life in public, particularly one who is overtly ambitious or successful in making money. There is great satisfaction among many people in seeing them humbled.”

This makes me think of dating shows like Rock of Love and The Bachelor. I think that women don’t generally watch those shows to see a fellow woman find love and happiness, we watch to see the women tear each other down and act like idiots. And over a man who probably couldn’t care less.

Also, I’m not a Hilary supporter, but I can see this sort of mindset directed at her and her campaign as well. One of my favorite reporters Leonard Pitts wrote a beautiful article last year that started like this:

“So,” the woman asked, “how do we beat the bitch?” And Sen. John McCain laughed.

It was, he said, an “excellent” question. Yes, he went on to express respect for Hillary Clinton, to whom the woman referred. But not once…did he suggest that it wasn’t appropriate to call Clinton a ‘bitch.’”

I think this all leads to a much more important question than “Why do women not like female celebrities?” And that is “Why do women not seem to like other women?”

Here are some sex tapes I’d like to see:

Marilyn Manson and Evan Rachel Wood

Oh wait, they’ve already made one and called it a music video. On second thought, I’m okay with never watching that again.

Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson.

Even though I have a feeling that I’d just be waiting for Owen Darling (bless his heart) to burst out into tears or for Kate Hudson to snap in half. On second thought, maybe I’ll skip this one too.

Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith

Aren’t you a little curious? They seem so wholesome, but I just get the impression that Jada can handle a whip better than Indiana Jones.

Sting and Trudie Styler.

I know he’s getting old, but don’t you kinda want him to show the work, so to speak, with all that tantric stuff he’s been talking up?

David Duchovny and Tea Leoni.

Mostly because I’d like to see what Dave is packing. Age and bad career moves just can’t dampen my dirty lusty love for this man.

James McAvoy and…Me.

Shot in soft light, of course, maybe reenacting that scene from Atonement. Really, though, I’d do it in the back of a Ford Taurus in a Costco parking lot in the middle of the day if that’s what he wanted.