When I was a kid, my friends and I would make jokes about Victoria’s Secret: the bra cups are infused with chemicals that will permanently make your boobs bigger, any male who buys gifts there actually gets an amazing discount, the mysterious “Victoria” is actually a man who is selling his personal lingerie collection.

Well, earlier this week, Victoria’s Secret finally got out. It’s not pretty, it has nothing to do with being sexy, and it’s not even the least bit funny.

On Wednesday, Bloomberg Markets Magazine released an investigative report linking the lingerie company to child labor practices in West Africa: Victoria’s Secret manufactures its cotton underwear in Sri Lanka, using textiles made in factories in India; a portion of those fabrics use cotton picked in the country of Burkina Faso, a landlocked country that was supposed to produce organic, fair trade cotton. Victoria’s Secret originally entered into the production deal in 2007 with the goal of ”improving the lives of some of the world’s poorest women and children through the responsible sourcing of cotton,” yet was unknowingly exploiting children and endorsing the practices they aimed to fight.

The article follows Clarisse, a 13-year-old child laborer who was pulled out of school to work in cotton fields, doing everything from carving plots that span the size of four football fields to fighting away harmful bugs usually controlled by inorganic pesticides, all while barefoot and susceptible to 100-degree heat during the summer planting season. And what happens if Clarisse gets tired and slows down? Let the farmer himself share his genius technique: “I sometimes beat her…This is when I give her work and she doesn’t deliver.”

The parent company Limited Brands released a statement:

“If this allegation is true, it describes behavior that is contrary to our company’s values and the code of labor and sourcing standards that we require all of our suppliers to meet,” the statement said. “These standards expressly prohibit child labor.” CNN reported that the company claimed to have immediately “began working with key stakeholders internally and externally to fully investigate this matter…we are prepared to take swift action to prevent the illegal use of child labor in the fields where we source Fairtrade-certified organic cotton in Burkina Faso.”

Though the news is shocking to those at VS headquarters, the practices are nothing new to farmers and regulators in Burkina Faso. The U.S. Labor Department has repeatedly cited the country for the worst forms of child labor, while the State Department has done the same regarding child trafficking to conventional cotton fields there. Somehow, this flew under the radar; even Fairtrade International, the world’s largest group of its kind, certified that Burkina Faso’s organic crop met its standards.

Some people are saying that though not all of VS’ cotton supply comes from Burkina Faso, the company should be boycotted; Victoria’s Secret should’ve been more aware of their own contracted labor practices, even if fair trade officials weren’t. However, others argue that it’s just another part of American consumerism that we customers blindly support.

For example, if you wear jeans, use eye shadow, or own a pair of gold earrings, you have at least 8.3 slaves working for you — according to Slavery Footprint, a new online campaign launched in collaboration with the State Department’s Office to Monitor and Combat Trafficking in Persons, created to raise awareness of modern day slavery. Here’s another not-so-fun fact: there are more slaves in the world today – an estimated 27 million people – than at any other time in history.

After taking the interactive, online lifestyle survey, it’s clear that it isn’t just our overpriced cotton underwear that’s supporting modern day slavery: it’s everything. Daily essentials like cars and coffee, college staples like smartphones and laptops. Oranges, cocktail shrimp, mascara and mouthwash, the list goes on.

Find out your Slavery Footprint now — college students can enter the Slavery Footprint Campus Challenge for a chance to win a trip for two to the 2012 mtvU Woodie Awards!

Read the full Bloomberg article here and watch the video coverage online.

What’s your Slavery Footprint? Will you continue to shop at Victoria’s Secret? What companies are endorsing these practices, unknowingly or otherwise?

Ashley is a UC San Diego grad who is holding on way too tightly to a potential career in magazines and goes to Vegas all too often. She’s fascinated with celebrities and strawberry beer and doubles as a pathological texter/emailer/blogger. Feed the addiction with tweets @cashleelee. Thanks in advance.

I have this new philosophy. You can take it with a grain of salt…or just a dainty little tea cup filled to the brim with Earl Grey. Yep, my philosophy has to do with acting like the fabulous french women do. We all feel it. When we bounce out of college we all suddenly want to be crazy classy and successful in the dating world. For me to conquer those two goals, I need a diagram or a list. In a happy hour epiphany, a girlfriend and I were discussing dating, stressful job situations and fashion. Then…it came out:

“I want to live like french women do.”

Fine, I’ll admit it. I got the idea from a recent Cosmopolitan article, sue me. But also, please nod in approval for me finding the only semi-classy article in Cosmo. The article inspired my heart strings. French women live fabulously, non-apologetically, mysteriously, seductively….I couldn’t pull my eyes away from it and obvi I have to share it with you. So aside from never shaving our armpits and being ‘totally natural’ let us live like the french women do.

French women are all about revealing less about themselves. You don’t have to close up like a clam whenever you meet someone new or clean out your desk at work…but keep things minimal. Dispense of personal information slowly. Professionals will respect you and the men you are dating will remain inquisitive and tuned in to your life because they want to know more, more, more.

Holding back about exposing too much information in text messages, in conversation — it doesn’t swallow who you are inside. If you tend to talk a lot and send super dirty text messages to boys, I’m not about to tell you to stop. But what I find mesmerizing is how French women keep their personality more exciting by slowly revealing information, being slightly playful and a little risque.

Also, did you know French women spend an estimated 20 percent of their income on lingerie?? This blows my mind. First of all, because I usually spend an estimated 25 dollars on lingerie in the Victoria’s Secret 5 for $25 underwear bin a year. Instead of saving sexy extras for special times, I vow to spend more on totally saucy lingerie. Set aside $20 a paycheck and buy a bomb diggity bra every once and a while. (Don’t use the word bomb diggity when describing it to your man, but whatever.) When we feel completely sexified under our clothing, how much sexier will we feel on the outside? Not to mention feeling insanely confident. Ugh, I’m in.

If you think this post sounds totally superficial, that’s fine. But I think it’s empowering. In a sense, women are punished for being too sexy (AKA slutty), but look — we’ve found a way to be tantalizing and seductive without the over-the-top fishnets. All we need to do is spritz on some musky perfume, wear more sexy lingerie (our little secret) and play with an air of French-like mystery that no man can ignore.

And, of course, combine your own personality into all of that. Which in my case, may mean wearing musky perfume and a hot pink lacy bra underwear set under a huge t-shirt and man sweatpants. On my couch. On a Wednesday afternoon.

I’m working on living like a seductive French woman, OK!

This week’s WTF is brought to you on behalf of Jours Après Lunes, a French lingerie design house that has just launched a couple new lines- one for tweens (!!) and one for girls in the 3-36 month age range (!!!).

While the toddler line is pretty tame, the tween collection leaves little to the imagination. From sexed up hair and long string pearls to creepily playful poses and too much makeup (one little girl even has a fake tattoo on her back), this isn’t your standard Hanes underwear.

What eight year-old needs a fancy bra? What toddler needs to have undies “just like mom’s”? Something is seriously wrong here. Let’s get these girls some underoos, stat!

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It’s the end of the year and as you start packing up your stuff to head home for the summer, you might notice the effect the dryer has had on your undies. Yes, after a year of industrial dryers your delicates are probably looking a little frayed and a lot tattered.

What better way to refresh your spring wardrobe than with some pretty new underthings?

Underwear is an easy way to incorporate new trends into your wardrobe with minimal expense. You can add stripes and florals, and lots of colors and patterns without breaking the bank. While you might not be showing off your undies to the world, knowing you have pretty things underneath will make you feel prettier, sexier, and overall just better. (And chances are, you are showing them off to somebody, so don’t you want to put your best….ahem….’foot’ forward?)

If I’ve got you convinced that you need to refresh your collection of underwear, I’ve got 15 items to get you thinking, each more beautiful than the one before!

[Click on any item to shop!]

Dear Mr. Thong Inventor,

I would like to preface this letter by saying that your work has made a large yet incredibly skimpy contribution to my adolescent years. And while I do believe in the nobleness of your cause, I am rather puzzled by the method to the madness of such an invention. As I hold up the tiny piece of fabric that is my underwear, several questions come to mind, such as:

Which came first: The thong, or “The Thong Song”?
The first time I heard The Thong Song, I was 11-years-old. Try explaining to a sixth grader, still under-clad with flower-print Hanes granny panties, the concept of a thong. Watching a leprechaun of a man do cartwheels on the beach doesn’t really do that good of a job of explaining the exact science behind the thong. In fact, I’m pretty sure I thought he was singing about summertime footwear up until 2001, when I realized I needed to wear this contraption to be socially acceptable.

Where the devil did you get this genius idea?
Was it a public service project? Did you see one too many VPLs (Visible Panty Lines, for you not-in-the-knows) and proclaim “I’ve had it! I’m inventing buttless underwear!” To you, Mr. Thong Inventor, going commando just wasn’t an option. Now that point I can understand, as I probably have not washed my jeans since the opening night of “Sex and the City.” And who really likes walking around with that, “I’m wearing the pant equivalent of dirty underwear” feeling all day? Yeah, neither do I. So really, Mr. T.I, you were the answer to my laundry-lazy, VPL-phobic prayers.

How the hell did you get it to catch on?
No seriously. It takes pure skill to get a woman to try on a permanent wedgie, let alone make it a long lasting trend in the sexy lingerie industry. Think about it: it’s a tiny scrap of cotton, satin, silk, or pearls (hey, I dunno what kinda stuff you’re into…) that is designed to chill between your butt cheeks all day. But women still go crazy for them! They even tease other women that don’t wear their underwear up their ass.

I remember my friend Emilie was the first of our 8th grade “group” to wear a thong. She finally caved in after much ridicule from her older sister regarding a tragically obvious VPL in a tacky polyester skirt (honestly, can you blame the older sis?). The day of her thong debut, she literally screamed in agony every time she bent down to open her locker. Even after witnessing her shriek six times before the end of third period, I still thought “Man, I gotta get me one of those!”

Even now, as a “mature” college girl, I will not be caught dead touching a pair of grannies, let alone wearing them during a hook up. You didn’t just sell them to the women of the world, you fooled guys into thinking they were the sexiest form of underwear. Yeah, I get the whole “more is better” thing when it comes to women’s asses, but that still doesn’t really explain to me why butt floss is an attractive option. You must have had to have some pretty solid endorsements to sell this baby to the masses. In this case, I think this product would even be a toughie for the OxyClean man (and that’s saying something – that guy could get me to buy anything). Was Sisqo dancing around a few lubed up beach babes really all it took?

Please find time in your busy pants-dropping schedule to get back to me as soon as possible. Seriously, we need to talk. I have a great idea for an invisible lingerie line that could really use a boost…

Yours truly,
Miss Thong Investor

[This story was originally posted by Elizabeth - UC Berkeley]

Likey? Don’t worry, there are plenty more faves where this came from.

I still can’t figure out why a store like Victoria’s Secret, who base all their advertising on women with luscious big breasts, doesn’t carry most lingerie in their stores above a C. Am I missing something here?

It’s all routed in a vicious cycle of girls wanting what they can’t have. I’ve always heard my smaller-chested friends whining about wanting bigger boobs when I and my more endowed friends begged for smaller ones. And I’m not even one of those poor girls that has to shop above the A-D range (bless your heavy-chested hearts), so why has it always been so hard? Well, thanks to online shopping and places like BareNecessities.com, we can find beautiful bras, like this one from Felina, for a fantastic price in a wide range of sizes, just in time for Valentine’s Day.

Honestly, the first thing I noticed about this bra was the price. Almost half of what Victoria’s Secret charges for their bras and the sizes range from a B-DDD. Am I the only one who didn’t know a triple D existed? Things get a little fuzzy for me after the D mark, but this bra is perfect if you hover around that size. And for a bonus – if the size you picked doesn’t fit just right, the site will pay for your shipping to exchange it. Both ways.

This bra manages to be both gorgeous and sexy, without being too cutesy. The pink is a wonderful Valentine option (order 2-day shipping to get it in time!) and it’s not too frilly to wear on a day-to-day basis. The demi-cup style (meaning it’s really only the lower half of a cup) gives great lift and shows off just the right amount of the amazing shape it creates, which also makes it perfect for giving you just a hint of cleavage in clothes without a risqué plunging neckline. This is a bra that’s working for you under you clothes and working for him without any, and gives you the confidence to navigate from one to the other. There’s a bra that’s worth way more than $32.

Even though I may still need to work out with two sports bras (and women get boob jobs why??) at least I won’t be shedding any more tears in department stores any time soon. Unless I find something wonderful that’s out of my price range, which is all the more reason to continue shopping online where no one can hear the sobs.

See what else Julia’s jonesing for right here.

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Since you ladies loved our history of the bra so much, our friends from OnlineDating.org went ahead and made a visual representation of the history of the thong. You know, so,  you could have a complete two-piece set. Or at least finally know who to blame for inventing this torture system.

Pay attention – you might be tested on this one day.