Who doesn’t want to have their cake and it eat too? Well what if you could have your cake, eat it and up your cup size all at the same time without doing permanent damage to your figure? It sounds too good to be true doesn’t it?

In Miami, a plastic surgeon is sucking out the fat in women’s unsightly muffin tops and injecting it into their breasts. Talk about killing two birds with one huge suction device. Minimize the love handles, maximize the love jugs. If that’s wrong, I don’t want to be right.

Now that I think about it, it seems so obvious. Women have been getting liposuction for years. Why waste all that precious fat when it could be put to good use and make you look slammin’ in a halter top?

Honestly, I can see the appeal of this type of procedure. It’s essentially rearranging the fat on my body until it’s in its rightful place… my bra. Plus, just think of the days leading up to the procedure: “Sorry guys, I have to eat this entire pint of Ben & Jerry’s by myself. I have surgery tomorrow.”

So the next time the dreaded drunk munchies hit, I won’t hold myself back from ordering the large Domino’s pizza with breadsticks. In fact, bring it on. I’m really lacking up top and I’ve got some new skinny jeans to fit into.

Hayden Panettiere is single again.

Lunchtime liposuction?

Online shopping made even easier.

Rihanna is not buying Chris Brown’s apology.

Katy Perry is not bumping uglies with Benji Madden.

Carolina Herrera hair and makeup how-to.

How does sex in space work, exactly?

Live luxuriously on a budget.

M.I.A’s baby is adorable!

A-Rod specifies what drug he used.

The new Facebook terms are not that big of a deal, so chill the eff out, people.

In 20 years, I will be sitting around with my girlfriends reminiscing about the good old days when we had to actually diet and exercise to whittle away those extra pounds gained from beer and late night pizza runs, if miracle cures such as the new “lipodissolve” actually work.

Apparently, this procedure is being marketed towards people that are “too busy to exercise.” Come on, is anyone really that busy…or just extremely lazy? Lipodissolve consists of a series of injections that supposedly dissolves fat and takes only 15 minutes to administer.

Sound too good to be true? Well, just wait until you hear more…

Lipodissolve has been banned in a number of countries and is still not approved in the U.S. “One recipient developed a lump the size of a tennis ball after her injections led to an infection in her abdomen,” reports this article. The science behind how the procedure supposedly works is a bit fishy as well. Skeptical scientists (for good reason) are wondering where exactly the fat goes when it dissolves. Read More »

• Roddick fans are none to happy about Andy’s new gal pal.

• Dane Cook was NOT funny for 7 hours straight.

• Shoulder pads are back with a vengeance. Say it ain’t so.

• Liposuction is no longer dumb.

• Britney Spears is a good mother.

• 2 Girls 1 Cup, 1 Wikipedia Entry.

Women love to pamper themselves. You know it, I know it, the American people know it. Hell, even I’ve hit up the spa on occasion to see what all the fuss is about.

But isn’t there a point when all this narcissistic pampering goes a little too far? By all accounts, the answer is a resounding no. Want proof? Apparently, the hip new trend to hit spas across the country is the butt facial. Yes, you read that correctly. The Butt Facial.

Now, I’ve never gotten, or even born witness to, an actual facial, so I’m not exactly the resident expert here. From what I can gather, the method for facializing (is that a word, and if not, can we make it one?) the butt is almost identical to that of getting an actual facial.

There’s quite a bit of cleaning (ultra-important where the butt is concerned) with a dash of detoxifying (not sure at all what that does, but it sounds healthy enough).

But I guess the real catalyst behind the butt facial craze is the second half of the process, which involves a type of electro-shock therapy designed to reduce cellulite and increase butt firmness.

The deafening silence you’re hearing now is the sound of every one of my readers jetting off to the nearest spa.

Unfortunately for the “regular” people among us, the procedure is running customers upwards of $800 a pop. Heyyy…welcome back everyone! Read More »

I wasn’t fat when I was 12, but I sure as hell felt like it. I probably weighed around 105 pounds—maybe 110—but it still didn’t keep me from feeling like the fattest cheerleader on the squad. I look at that picture of me now, and it makes me sad that at that particular moment in my life, and I remember it so distinctly, that I felt so fat.

Which is why this girl makes me so sad. Aside from the fact that it is absolutely ridiculous, I just feel sad for her.

Brooke Bates was 12 years old when she opted for liposuction and a tummy tuck to take the pounds off. At the time she was 220 pounds, which isn’t a healthy weight. But lipo and a tummy tuck during a time when your body is naturally changing due to puberty? It just seems ludicrous.

Brooke lost 40 pounds from the surgery, which she says took her from being the “big, fat girl to the popular girl.” But then less than a year later, she had gained all but five pounds back. Which makes me think that she—or her parents—weren’t combining healthy eating and exercise (and probably much needed therapy) in with her surgery. It isn’t a quick fix, especially when you’re 12. In fact, surgery shouldn’t be a way to fix it at all at that age.

Twelve is just too young. Read More »