The entire season of Gossip Girl thus far has been the foreplay to the ultimate climax in a brewing ‘Serana take down’ courtesy of Team Brooklyn (i.e. Jenny, Vanessa, and Juliet).  And not the good kind that gets you all hot and bothered. More like ‘what the hell are you doing with your hands, drunken frat pledge?’ foreplay. Read: horrific.

But we finally reached the climax and despite my expectations that it just wouldn’t happen (and I’d have to channel my inner Meg Ryan a la ‘When Harry Met Sally’), we had a toe curling, fireworks extravaganza last night that left me jonesing for a cigarette. (Not that I smoke, but it just seemed appropriate after that hot, hot Blair/Chuck sexy sesh. DAYUMMM.)

I knew Serena was going down, but whew, girl didn’t even get a chance to go down with a fight!  Like they say on the Upper East Side, the possibilities are endless.

Since we are on the precipice of one of my favorite holidays of the year (Thanksgiving!), I thought it would only be appropriate to create the perfect recipe for every Gossip Girl episode.  Even though this particular Monday evening run had a few more twists, turns and ingriedents than normal, I feel like I’ve seen all of this before.  So here we go, let’s cook up some GG casserole, shall we?

A Spoonful of Lily Trying to Fix Serena’s Reputation By Writing a Check
Poor Serena, the scheming efforts of Team Brooklyn have led S’s flesh and blood mother to assume the worst. And weird, Lily is stuck writing another check to buy Serena a mended reputation. Well, pshh, that’s never happened before.

Two Teaspoons of Blair Trying to be an Empowering Women
Since Mr. Chuck isn’t a blurter and meant what he said when he let intense sexual pleasures dull his senses thus voicing the three one-syllable words, Blair and Chuck announce they are back together. Well, they’re forced to announce it when Serena’s Doppelganger exposes them, but whatev. It happened. Unfortunately for Chuck (and every single viewer who has only hung on this season because of those two) it didn’t last long. Blair wants to be her own woman. You know, like Hillary Clinton, but with better hair. “I have to be Blair Waldorf before I’m Chuck Bass’ girlfriend.” Awww. Read More »

Do Columbia students not carry books?

Have you ever been so excited for something – counting down the minutes, planning your day around it, fantasizing about how amazingly awesome it is going to be, turning off your cell phone so you won’t be interrupted – only to be totally disappointed? Yeah, welcome to the day I lost my virginity my Monday night.

So thanks for nothing, Gossip Girl.

After Chuck’s brazen (and dare I say super sexy) declaration of war during last week’s episode, I was chomping at the bit to see how things would go down. As each day passed, I got more and more excited for my Monday night date with Chuck and the rest of the UES crew. I had dreams (that are too inappropriate to divulge here) about me, Chuck and his private plane. I had visions of a Chuck and Blair reunion. I wrote aggressive emails to the GG writing staff to push Juliet out of a window at the top of the Empire….

And then, 60 boring minutes and a bag of pretzel M&Ms later, I was bitter and angry…and really thirsty (seriously, what is it with those M&Ms?). What was it that was getting my granny panties in a bunch? Read More »

There are three things in life that I don’t buy:

1. Bumpits
2. Heels that are taller than 4 inches
3. Lily van der Woodsen’s stupid story about being sick and needing a doctor and the only one that she could find was her sexy, rich ex husband even though she lives in New York City, where some of the best doctors in the world reside.

Oh, and thongs. I don’t buy thongs either.

Let’s just reflect. Lily gets cancer, doesn’t tell her husband, runs into the arms of her ex-husband and stays in a hotel with him “getting treatment” for months at a time, all the while lying to her waffle-making house-husband back home. Then this miracle doctor follows them back to New York where he comes up with some convoluted story about how he was absent for 14 years and then couldn’t see Serena because he was dealing with doctor-patient confidentiality with her mother? Read More »

Everyone knows Gossip Girl is not real. Unlike “The Hills” and “The City,” who try to play themselves off as reality, Gossip Girl is simply a scripted indulgence with a little over-the-top drama peppered in…every 5 seconds. Still, though, sometimes I’d like to think that this show, my guiltiest of guilty pleasures, maintains some semblance of what life is really like on the Upper East Side of New York City. That there really are people up there like Blair, Chuck and Damien. (OK, I think we all know there are people out there like Damien…there are a few of them living on my block.)

But last night’s episode made that nearly impossible. It was chock (Chuck?) full of obvious inconsistencies that took me back to the days of Saved By The Bell – The College Years, when I thought everyone was BFF with their RA (who looked like a wrestler) and could share a mega sweet with their friends from home. Let’s take a look: Read More »

I have a confession to make:

I LOVE HILARY DUFF! Ever since the days of Lizzie McGuire I’ve been a fan. And when I say “fan” I mean “I cried at the Lizzie McGuire movie when she finally kissed Gordo.” Sigh. I also love her music, her style and her sister (but only in Napolean Dynamite). Anyways, it was obviously another week in Gossip Girl heaven for me when she finally showed up at NYU to buy Dan some gross street coffee. (I once heard there is lots of rat poop in those carts…but I digress.)

Duff stars as Olivia Burke, a young movie star trying to live a normal college life. Of course, the first person she meets is Dan Humphrey.  While it may have been slightly predictable, giving Dan another dramatic blonde girl to go after, I couldn’t help but smile as I watched the two of them have coffee. They were so cute, so happy. She’s Dan but with boobs and a great wardrobe…and a successful career as a movie star with a bitchy publicist….

If only we all didn’t know that Georgina is waiting in the wings to mess it up, Single White Female style.

Speaking of Satan Georgina, while she’s gone being all shady in Boston, Blair uses the alone time to wallow in self-pity, pining away for her days as Queen Bee. And I have to say – this was hard to watch. That’s our Blair - the strongest, most confident girl we all know – and she’s acting a fool. She reminded me of those kids from my high school who still wear their letterman jackets now, 3 years later. She looked pathetic heading back to Constance now that she’s a college girl. Read More »

I love Gossip Girl. Ever since I heard Kristin Bell’s first “xoxo” back in 2007, I’ve been hooked. GG’s got it all: drama, scandal, hot men, and adorable outfits. The thing about those outfits, however amazing they may be, is that they can be super expensive. So, when I heard that Anna Sui was designing a Gossip Girl inspired collection for Target, I had high hopes and was immediately excited. I even contemplated camping out at my neighborhood Target American-Idol-style the night before the line was released. But after spotting the collection online, I’m torn.

Love it:

Variety – I love that Anna decided to make a collection that showcases the style of all four Gossip Girl ladies: Blair, Serena, Jenny, and Vanessa. With the GG line, you have the opportunity to mix and match with different pieces inspired by each character, or just pick your favorite. I don’t know about you, but some days I’m a Blair and the next I’m Vanessa, so I like a collection that takes this change in style into account.

Price – Though specific prices for Anna’s collection haven’t been announced yet, it’s making it’s debut at Target, so it will definitely be budget-friendly. I might have loved the Marc Jacobs Joelle dress that Blair wore to the white party, but I most definitely do not like the price tag, or the fact that it is now sold out. Read More »

I confess… I’ve missed the past couple weeks’ worth of new GG episodes. First of all, I’ve been crazy busy and can’t even keep my days straight. Second, GG comes and goes so sporadically with new episodes that I wasn’t even aware I’d have to set my TiVo. Out of all of the nights to get reunited with Serena, Blair, Chuck, and Nate, I have to say, I picked a rather juvenile occasion.

To me, a lot of characters regressed in this ep. I’m not shunning last night’s 43 minutes of soapy rich-kid-ness, just making an observation. When we first met Serena, she was a former party-girl elitist who was trying to make a fresh, less-shallow start. Yet, last night, S was all about being the “cool kid” once again, no matter the cost of Jenny’s feelings. She plans a Sweet Sixteen bash for Little J, and then is obviously hurt when celebutante Poppy smirks at her social calendar. Haven’t you grown beyond that, Serena?

Jenny, after dabbling in the high-class fashion biz for a few eps, wants a low-key, family-only party (complete with Rufus’ famous homemade chili), and Serena concedes. Until the lame-o cliquesters announce that they had their own party planned all along. So, unbeknownst to birthday girl Jenny, Serena decides to reinstate the bash she’d originally planned. How second-season Blair of you, Serena. Read More »