10 Offensive Children’s Outfits that People Actually Buy

Maybe it’s just me feeling old, but I can’t help but think kids are growing up faster than ever before. I’m constantly seeing second graders with iPhones, 13-year-olds rocking designer bags and little boys who use more hair gel than DJ Pauly D. I mean, maybe it’s just because the 90s were a VERY different time, but I can’t help but feel like kids today are growing up a little too quickly. That being said, their parents aren’t doing much to help either. Aside from spoiling them and letting them have Facebook profiles by age 11, some parents go as far as to buy their kids inappropriate and sometimes offensive clothing that definitely sends the wrong message.

Check out some of the surprisingly BEST-SELLING children’s items we found: Read More »


Being Grown Up Has Its Perks

200270087-001God, the kiddies sure do have it made. They have no worries other than what cartoon they will watch after school or what Snack Pack their mom threw in their lunchbox. Their homework consists of 10 math problems and they merely have to sit at a table to be fed a full, delicious home cooked meal.

And sometimes amidst classes and internships and jobs and scrounging around our kitchens for something to eat before our 6-hour library run we all have a pang of longing for that time in our lives. The days when we could sleep all day and not feel guilty that we missed a lecture, a study group and a day’s worth of quality homework progress. And then wake up, have mom make us a snack and drive us to the movies (where she’ll buy the ticket).

But while we do have a ton of responsibility now that we are “grown ups,” we also have a ton of new privileges now that the parentals aren’t breathing down our necks. And let me tell you – I’d trade in my Barbie Jeep for my curfew-less existence any day.

We can eat ice cream for breakfast
Far gone are the days of mom force-feeding us spinach and carrots, taunting us with the fact that we aren’t going to get that scrumptious brownie if we don’t finish all of our dinner. If I want to eat a bag of chips and chocolate cake for lunch, then I’m going to and there’s no one to stop me. Major plus for the grown ups.

We can live in a pigsty
When you played with your toys your mom would inevitably come in screaming that it looked like a tornado had ran through the room. Then she counted down from ten as you jumped into action picking up all of our Barbies and Beanie Babies. Not anymore. Want to toss your jeans over there? Done. That empty cereal bowl on the couch? Totally fine. (That is…until she comes to visit.) Read More »


America’s Got Talent: 9-Year-Old Boy Continues Quest For World Domination/Reality Show Fame

image3754149g.jpgDavid Militello is adorable…so adorable that the earth may implode under the weight of his toothy grin and little kid high-notes. Little David auditioned for America’s Got Talent awhile back and made it through to Las Vegas, the AGT equivalent of Hollywood Week.

Before he left, The Hoff made this prediction/menacing threat:

“He is going to steal the hearts of every American watching the show.”

That prophecy came to fruition during last night’s two-hour Vegas episode. The judges whittled the 113 acts down to 60, and on Thursday they’ll cut 20 more before the pool of contestants is set for the live episodes.

David upped his game and with two minor additions that made it impossible for the judges to send him packing; a little tuxedo, and an alliance with the youngest contestant in the competition, Kaitlyn Maher. Separate they are just two cute little kids, but put them together (holding hands no less!) and the viewing public is powerless. The two little ones beat out individuals three times their age (in their own age bracket no less) and both moved on to the semi-final round. But were we surprised? Voting them off would be like putting Milo & Otis to sleep. Read More »


It’s Derrick Bitch: America’s Got Talent Season Premiere

The season premiere of America's Got Talent was a mixed bag filled with cocky British judges, bad singers, sob stories and the occasional flashy outfit. I sifted through two hours of mediocre entertainment, anxiously awaiting the "real talent" to show itself. No puppeteers, no sh*tty freak shows, and if I saw one more person who thought they could dance I was going to punch my TV through the wall. To the outside observer, not only does America lack talent, we lack the wisdom to know better.

But I was rewarded for my patience. Not by the four-year-old girl who stole everyone's heart but by Derrick Barry.

This guy looks better than Britney on her best day, airbrushing and all. He may not be as talented as the blubbering opera singer or the vindicated baton twirler but man can he work a pair of leather pants. Finally a good excuse to shout out, Fierce Hot Tranny Mess!


From Home, Sick to Homesick

24325354.jpgThere comes an age when you realize the difference between homesick and home, sick.

Homesickness happens after moving out of state. You miss the backyard you grew up in, your family and friends, whatever it may be that just isn’t the same in your new digs. Home, sick happens when you’re too hungover to function or you’re legitimately ill, sometimes even ill due to the hangover. Most importantly, home, sick, as an adult, is when you realize how great it was when your parents were there to take care of you. Home, sick leads to homesick.

Maybe it was because I have no siblings, but my parents upped the love when I had what my father referred to as “the punies,” always pronounced with an exaggerated pout and a pat on the head, whether I was six or sixteen. He’d then quickly step away and make an x with his index fingers. “Love you, but I don’t want it,” he said, shaking his head sadly. Read More »


I See London, I See — Your Shenis?

shenis• As if popping and squatting isn’t awkward enough, now we have — the Shenis! Impressive, no? (Jezebel)

• For 3 hours this Saturday there are going to be a lot of angry fat kids. We should probably be a little nervous. (MSNBC)

• Who needs a masculine jock-y boyfriend when you can just drink man-flavored sweat soda? Mmmm. (Business Week)

• Penn State is bullying little kids out of using their logo. Cause you know, using a dangerous looking animal as a mascot is an original PSU idea. (Fredericksburg.com)

• Going to attempt to cram 50 dressed-up classmates into your dorm this Halloween? Of course you are! Here, we did a little shopping for you! (NerdApproved.com)