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Cindy Crawford is not a Miley Cyrus fan.

What LC and Lo look like when The Hills is not taping.

Lisa Bonet – that chick from the Cosby show – had a baby. And gave it a weird-ass name.

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Polaroid 2.0 - coolest thing ever.

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Fix your own pants, instead of paying the tailor to do it for you.

10 TV shows that were ripped off by other shows.

So, tonight’s episode kinda sucked. (Almost as bad as that picture to the left. Fo realz.) The best part of it was the hummus I scarfed down while watching. I can’t totally blame the people over at MTV, though; that episode of Gossip Girl was pretty hard to follow.

But, still – the episode actually opened up a lot more questions than it answered. Questions like:

1) What is the point of the whole Stephanie/Cameron relationship? I mean, really, why did this story line ever exist? Was it to show us that boys like Stephanie? Did MTV hope for it to cause more tension than it did? Maybe a bar brawl between Cameron, Brody and his Bromancers? Was it to bring Steph and Spencer together, or maybe tear them apart? Why?!

The love story lasted for like 5 minutes over the span of 6 episodes, so why are we supposed to care that they broke up? I just don’t understand. Enlighten me, people. (Speaking of Cameron, did anyone else notice when he tried to kiss Heidi hello and he totally got the back of her head? Awkward!)

2) Did MTV force Lauren’s parents out of their house? Lauren’s epiphanies about moving on and growing up seem a bit too…er…advanced for her to have come up with on her own, which leads me to believe that this was yet another scripted moment by the folks at MTV. Does that mean, then, that they forced her parents to move out of their mansion so they could create this moment? That’s a lot of packing for one crappy episode. Read More »

So, I was gone for a few weeks and missed out on a lot of Hills recapping. I was so excited to get back into it…until I actually watched tonight’s totally sucky episode. Like most episodes of The Hills, nothing really happened. In fact, the entire show can be broken down into two sentences:

Lauren and Audrina make up.

Spencer acts like a douche in front of his Nana.

Now, let’s take a closer look. Read More »

Well, tonight’s episode of The Hills definitely made up for last week’s lackluster performance. Big things happened! Audrina moved out! Heidi got drunk! And then she got fired!

OMFG it’s like drama overload.

Ok, breathe, Lauren. Let’s start from the beginning.

So, Audrina decides she wants to move out of the house and – poof! – she finds a place. And not just any place; a beautiful, huge, brand new place. What luck?! I mean, I spent 2 months looking for an apartment in NY before I found one…that was in Queens…and I shared with a girl who got drunk and ate in the bathroom and another girl who abused Ambien. Did I mention the lack of A/C? Read More »

For the first time all season, last night’s episode of The Hills was action packed! I was actually not that surprised, because of course everything would go down as soon as LC left town. Remember how everything changed when she went to Paris?

But still – it was intense. Things happened. And, more importantly, really deep conversations were had.

Like this doozy between Audrina and Lo as they ate lunch during their (forced) week of bonding:

“I have 2 knives,” says Audrina, confused.

“I have 2 forks,” responds Lo. “TRADE!!”

Ah, that is true friendship. They really are getting along – at least until the BIGGEST DRAMA EVER happens: Audrina starts chatting Heidi up at the bar and then meets up with Heidi (who happened to be wearing a lot of leather) and Spencer at the X-games party. And not only does she meet up with them, she starts getting all huggy and lovey with Heidi about their friendship and how they used to be BFF. Read More »

After watching last night’s episode of The Hills I couldn’t sleep. I was restless. I was angry. I just didn’t know who to hate more: Lo or Spencer. I also didn’t know if I should be embarrassed that I sorta wanna watch My Super Sweet Sixteen presents: Exiled. But that is for a whole different blog.

I used to love Lo. In fact, I considered my 25th birthday to be one of my favorites because it was the day I got to interview her. Too bad I suck at picking people to love, because that girl is a serious biatch.

I get it, Lo; Audrina is sorta bland and boring and you hate her cuz her legs are ridiculous. But stop being such a bitch. She may not be the brightest crayon in the box (although she most definitely is the tannest), but she is a nice girl and wants nothing but good things for those around her. Plus, she is your best friend’s other best friend and, quite frankly, she looked a lot better than you at She-Pratt’s birthday party. What was UP with your hair? And the red lips? You looked like a crazy cat lady.

And then there is Spencer. Oh Spencer – how many times can I possibly write how much I loathe you? Your life consists of one thing: being a bitch. You don’t work, you don’t have friends – all you do is plot evil plans with Heidi (consisting of either awful music videos, photo shoots or ways to make LC’s life a living hell) and eat Mexican food. Read More »

Dear LC,

Dear Lauren Conrad,

Hey chica! First of all, I want to say I totally respect you as a person and I think your new cell phone commercial is… not vain and retarded? Anyway, I’m just writing this letter to you because I think we’ve reached a roadblock in our relationship. I think you’re a darling girl and I’d love to remain friends, but unfortunately, we’ve both grown apart as people.

Listen, everything started out great between us. You were fun loving and carefree and your cotton sundresses were so cute and colorful. I really respected your style and how seemingly committed you were to all your girl friends. Things have changed though, haven’t they?

As a new season of The Hills approaches, I feel I need a relationship vacation from you. I won’t stop watching your show, obviously, but I don’t think “we” work together. I will watch because I’ll always respect your Marc Jacobs bags and your ability to turn any fun event into “The Lauren Conrad Drama Hour.”

Here are the reasons that I need this relationship vacation: Read More »

Being that I have a giant obsession with The Hills, I have forced a lot of my friends to watch it over the years. Obviously, they had no choice if they happened to be anywhere near my house on a Monday night; but it also happens to be the only thing I talk about/reference, so most of my friends felt it necessary to watch in order to understand me when I refer to their new bangs as totally Pratt-Tastic. Or if I refer to someone’s lame ass BF as a Poor (wo)Man’s Justin Bobby.

But just because they watch it doesn’t mean they love it like I do. In fact, as last nights season finale was coming to a dramatic close, I received this text from a friend:

“The Hills is the suckiest sucky show ever. I want to shove forks into my eyes.”

Clearly, this friend doesn’t see the show for the super fantastic hot mess that it really is. And that makes me sad. Read More »

Yesterday was one of the best Mondays I have had in a long time. I got some great personal news, it was Cinco De Mayo (so I celebrated that great news with some tequila shots) and Gossip Girl was so. freaking. good. And then The Hills came on, and my day took a turn for the worse.

I don’t know if it was the fact that everything was just so great all day or that maybe I am just finally catching on to what everyone else has been saying (that nothing ever really happens on this damn show), but I just didn’t have love for The Hills last night. Lauren turned into an uber snooty bitch and Lo, my favorite of all reality show stars, was the ring leader of bitchiness. Read More »

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I get “blackout” to level the gender playing fields

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Jason Mraz, I love your words–but are they yours?

Admirable: Britney Spears stays grounded…even in flight!

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Another “The Hills” parody–this time, with Lo!