Yeah, he’s a tad shady. Can we move on?

Damn, QVC has a lot of great shiz.

Is that a Snuggie, Jessica Simpson?

So that’s what makes for bad sex.

Everyone wants to see Lady Gaga.

Is loneliness contagious?

I have never been good at being alone. For me, loneliness = boredom = depression. I like to be surrounded by people, whether they’re friends, family, or my boyfriend. But right now, my boyfriend lives on the other side of the country, my friends are all home for the summer, and my family is hours away. And I’m starting to realize that being alone doesn’t mean you have to be lonely.

If you’re finding yourself alone a lot lately (maybe you moved to a new city for school/work, just went through a break up, fought with your friends, whatever) here are some tips to fight off the loneliness.

Read
Get lost in a good book. My favorites this summer have been The Time Traveler’s Wife, God-Shaped Hole, and Never Let Me Go. Books can be expensive, so find a library, put in a long list of holds, and make it a goal to read each book before the next one becomes available. Read More »

“My Boyfriend” is a phrase many of us single ladies would like to add to our vocabulary.

Some of us are the Charlottes who are happy knowing at the end of the day there is a guy that will be thinking about us before we fall asleep. Some of us are the Samanthas who are happy knowing we have a guy we can shag before we fall asleep. Ahh, and then there are those in between-ers like myself. We want someone to love and shag us before we tuck in for the night.

Whichever category you fall into, it’s no wonder we’re all looking for that special person to “complete” us.

Having a boyfriend brings about a sense of pride and accomplishment. It gives us all feelings of worth, self esteem and validation. Oh, and a serious case of the butterflies.

As sad as that may be, it’s the truth. Sure, the powerful and independent woman can find all of that on her own, but the fact is we’ve been taught our whole lives to want a boyfriend. Case in point: romantic movies. Those friggin’ things don’t do jack sh!t for a single girl besides motivate those starry-eyed expectations of how the majority of real guys act. Homegirl, I’m not talkin’ only about movies along the lines of “The Notebook” either. Those Disney Princess movies of carpet rides and glass slippers laced our childhood hopes of boyfriends with metaphorical crack before we got our training wheels off.

So yes, I want a boyfriend! You want a boyfriend! Your dog wants a boyfriend! Read More »

I am going to try to review this CD as impartially as I can, but I doubt that I will be able to hold back my intense fan girl love for it. This is easily in my top five favorite albums of all time, if not my very favorite.

Neko Case is sort of a legend in the alt-country genre for her versatility and “country noir” sensibilities. Fox Confessor Brings the Flood is her best album; confident, moving, and even playful at times in it’s almost punk-like disregard for the conventions of structure. Her soulful voice recalls spirituals and blues but her lyrics are rich and modern in their abstraction.

This is one of those rare albums that I can listen to all the way through. It feels like taking a journey down a long dirt country road, peaceful, tumultuous at times, but starkly beautiful and rich.

More than that, this is the singular album that appeals to me as I transition fully into adulthood and womanhood–I understand everything she sings about, even if I can’t follow every line. She evokes the way I feel about this time in my life with her music as much as she does with her words, sad guitars that recall nostalgia and stark echoes that convey loneliness better, I think, than any lyrics ever could. Read More »

Dear Tuffy,

So lets see if you can answer this one. I’m pretty much a smart girl, so i know what my problem is. The only thing is i am not quite sure if i can ever get rid of it.

I am 22 years old and I have no escape in college. I have decent grades and all…but I think thats it. I have no real friends, so I find myself utterly alone. I’m introverted so theres no chance to just act out in public. Activities by myself are just not appealing (eg.hobbies). Guys are also lost cause, I cannot seem to find one & when I do find one to be friends with, all they want is to get with me.

I find myself accepting this but im not sure i want to. How would i change this? It hurts to be alone.

~Andrea

Dear Andrea,

Girl, I’m gonna be straight with you: That sucks.

Like you said, you already know what the problem is. So, look, that’s a definite step closer.

Let’s deal with this one part at a time, okay? Read More »

Loneliness doesn’t just suck, it blows. I know this because I have dealt with it first hand. The emotions, the weight gain, the boredom. With a new city, a new job and no new friends to speak of, loneliness and I were pretty tight.

If I told you I had a sure-fire way to beat it, I’d be lying. Because if I had found the magic formula, it wouldn’t have taken me 8 months to realize that graduating from college in four years wasn’t the worst decision of my life.

Fortunately for you, I have a few good tips about what NOT to do. Whether you are kicking it at home for the summer or making your way in a brand new city, these tips are sure to keep you from going as crazy as, well, I did. Read More »

Starting off a “real life” in a new city far from home after recently graduating college in May can be a very scary and lonely experience. Take it from me, I am currently doing it right now.

Having to make adult decisions and worry about things like finding a reasonable apartment to rent or what kind of medical benefits your job will have were possibly the last things on my mind as a carefree college student just four months ago.

And to add more sting to the wound, I have to hear about everyone going back to school.

My younger friends all have away messages up such as “Back at it! Pregaming, then out” or “Fall Semester Kick Off Party.” I sit in my tiny apartment and cringe with jealousy when I read posts like The First Day of School or My Freshman Year: Day One. I lament with my fellow graduates who are working as well and miles away over IM or email.

Somehow, it’s just not the same as stumbling into their rooms at 3 am when we all lived in a sorority house together.

Well, not only does loneliness suck, but it’s bad for your health as well. A recent article I read described how researchers had found that “loneliness may accelerate the rate of physical decline that occurs naturally with age.” Great!

So, not only do I feel old because I am a college graduate, but now, my current state of mind could be aging me even faster…AHHH! Read More »

As I feel the final month of summer inching towards me, I have been forced into cramming everything I wish I did all summer into one last month.

While this makes for lots of late nights and some memorable moments with my favorite girls from home, I often find myself missing my friends from college. If this were last summer, my longing wouldn’t be much of an issue.

Unfortunately, my friends and I are approaching our junior year of college, a year plagued by the ever-so-popular study abroad program.

Whether it be Italy, Nicaragua, China, or South Africa, a semester abroad is a semester of discovery and growth. Some countries have limited access to computers and telephones, making communication difficult. Read More »

Loneliness doesn’t just suck, it blows. I know this because I have dealt with it first hand. The emotions, the weight gain, the boredom. With a new city, a new job and no new friends to speak of, loneliness and I were pretty tight.

If I told you I had a sure-fire way to beat it, I’d be lying. Because if I had found the magic formula, it wouldn’t have taken me 8 months to realize that graduating from college in four years wasn’t the worst decision of my life.

Fortunately for you, I have a few good tips about what NOT to do. Whether you are kicking it at home for the summer or making your way in a brand new city, these tips are sure to keep you from going as crazy as, well, I did. Read More »