You know that feeling in your gut when you read about your friend’s amazing night? Well you obviously aren’t alone, researchers have even coined a term for it, FOMO, the fear of missing out. It’s that annoying nagging feeling that tells you what you are doing isn’t fun enough, that you need to be doing whatever it is that your 5 class friends just tweeted about.

FOMO has been around for years, but due to the increase in social media it’s become worse. Not only are you seeing those brag-tastic status updates, but then you are putting them up, which makes someone else put another one up…and the vicious cycle continues. Although the instantaneous connection to friends all over the world is pretty great, I could totally deal with missing out on FOMO.

So in order to help combat that utterly horrible feeling, I’ve put together a little “what to do if” guide to help you take back your days/nights:

What to do if you get a text about an amazing party while you are studying: First off, in my 3 (basically 4) years of college I’ve learned one major thing with cell phones and studying…they do not go together. So unless you are waiting on a really important text (like the well-being of a loved one, not a text from the boy you like), then turn off your phone! If you did leave it on, and are feeling a little FOMOish, respond back with “Let me know about the next one.” This way you can stick to your study sesh knowing you’ll go out next time. And let’s be real, it will probably be the next night.

What to do if you see a status that makes your weekend look like crap: “OMG the party was so awesome!! You should’ve been there.” It’s at that point my gut starts sinking and I start regretting my weekend spent with Meg Ryan and Betty Crocker. The key to defeating it is to rationalize, you didn’t go out for a reason, right? You were tired, didn’t want to be near people, etc. And if you had gone out while feeling like that chances are you wouldn’t have had the super time you are imagining. Oh and if someone is constantly bragging about their fab life, hide their updates. You’ll thank me later.

What to do if you are getting updates of what friends are doing while you are sitting on your couch: It’s Wednesday night and you opted for Modern Family and Cougar Town, while 10 people you follow and 20 facebook friends opted for the new bar opening down the street. Not only do you have to deal with the annoying noises the notifications make, but that sinking feeling you made the wrong choice is back again. Turn off your notifications, I repeat, if you are staying home alone just turn them off. I’ll repeat what I’ve already said: You made this choice for a reason, you needed some quality time with a family that’s more dysfunctional than yours, and it’s okay to stay in!

What to do if the party invite you rejected ended up being better than the bar you opted for: Obviously if someone is taking pictures at a party, for the most part, it will seem like a better time. I mean why wouldn’t someone document a good time! But, you’re forgetting it’s college — all we do is take pictures and make bad decisions. Just because the bar wasn’t as packed as the party doesn’t mean you didn’t have fun, and just because the party seems fun in the pictures does not mean you would’ve had fun there.

Regardless of the situation, just remember why you made your decision in the first place, and that no one else has to know what you did. So if you are feeling super fomo-ey than just post an obnoxious update, i.e. “Last night was amazing! Can’t wait to see Zac E again!!” …They don’t need to know you saw him in a movie, and plan on watching another one tonight.

Pre-grad text conversation:
“===D hahaha im druInk”
“shut Up me 2! hehee”

Post-grad text conversation:
“Wanna watch HGTV and eat a quesadilla with me after work?”
“I will be on your couch waiting for you. Whoa, I almost typed I will be waiting on your cooch, eating for you.”

Basically, sober thoughts come in disappointing packages.  And the packaging runs small.  That makes communicating with friends post-college even more difficult.

Back in the days of making unlimited bad decisions and opting out of doing anything productive (read: college) I would spend valuable time with my friends grilling Texas toast on our George Foreman, laughing with Joel McHale on ‘The Soup,’ and spending four hours a night putting on our whore faces to Britney Spears’ ‘The Hook Up’ on repeat.  Having friends was so effortless. Spending time with them was easier than spending time with myself.

In fact,  if I wanted to be alone, it was impossible — even if I was trying desperately to seek a stable, private place to do my business.  My friends, and people (even if I didn’t like them) were always around.  They were crunching on dry Ramen in the library.  They were breathing down my neck on the way to class. They were powdering their schnoz in the bathroom. Being social came as naturally (or forced) as dealing with the calories after a Big Mac.  I enjoyed them, but sometimes it was all just too much.

Let’s fast forward to current life. Nowadays as a post-grad, I’ve discovered a little doozie I like to call isolation.

College was like living in a zoo.  I was put behind bars to study and be studied.  I ate food other people gave me, took long naps in the shade or on random slabs of rock [Editors note: Okay Simba...], and I rarely showered.  Now, I am out in the wild.  I’m running around like a headless chicken, barely taking care of myself and stuck in a barren field where all of my friends have jobs, boyfriends and, well, lives.  And not enough time to give me the valuable attention I still crave from the days when we were stuck behind bars together, drinking Malibu, and picking the wedgies out of our jeggings.

Getting a hold of an ol’ college friend to grab happy hour post graduation is more difficult than trying to thread a needle on cocaine. Schedules clash, no one has enough money to support themselves, and sleeping by 9:30 p.m. becomes a sacred ritual.  And I get it; after working eight-hour days, sitting down with a friend and catching up about how you’re “underpaid, unhappy, overworked, and drinking Pinot Grigio alone every night” isn’t exactly on your mini-calendar.  Face it: at that point you would much rather watch The Bachelor alone and silently thank God you’re not anything like those psycho betches.

I just compared my life to the girls on The Bachelor.  This calls for an intervention.

While a social life post graduation can be tough, I know I can make it work.  Most of the time, whenever I do set aside the time to be with friends, it’s like a great and grand vacation.  I think of it like this: in college I was overwhelmed by all of my crazy minions.  Eventually communication with them was watered down.  I’d spent so much time with them that I could barely hear what they are saying when they complained about their recent boy problems.

Maybe it’s lame but I like to think of the time I spend with someone like water, and my friends like Tang (yes, the juice you drank when you were five).  When I add more water (time), the Tang (friends) is not as strong.

Yes, I basically just told you that when you add less water, your friends will taste better.  But it makes sense to me. Distance makes the heart grow fonder and less time spent with my friends may make me a better friend.  So, to all of the stressed post-grads out there, enjoy your friends, even in those small doses; you’ll cherish them even more.

College introduced me to my best friends (who ended up not being my best friends senior year, but oh well), girls that compulsively wore Uggs and North Face jackets to class, stereotypes unknown in high school (hello frat boys), frenemes, coffee buddies, and classroom peers, and a few boys I wish I never met. Being in a university setting provides students with an ongoing fodder of new people – all from different walks of life. And through these chance meetings, you will meet someone (or many ones) that will truly impact your life.

I certainly did. Looking back on the last four years of my life, a lot of specific friends stick with me, along with a few classes and certain professors. However, one person truly means the most to me and that is my boyfriend of over two years. We met our first year of college (and couldn’t stand each other…), but near the end of our sophomore year, we both realized something was there. From that point on, we were inseparable.

Until now. Now, we’re in a long distance relationship (me in California, him in St. Louis, MO). I never thought I would be one of those long distance kinda girls, but with him, I’d rather be in a long distance relationship than to not have him in my life. Not only is he my best friend, but he truly is the best boyfriend I could ever ask for. But I’m not going to lie – it’s hard going from being so close to each other to being so far apart (we’re nearly two thousand miles away from each other).

While I’m happy to be able to talk to him on the phone and on Skype (and to visit him as much as I can), I realize how special that time in college was. It was so much easier back then. And that goes across the board with all kinds of relationships whether they are romantic or not. I know I’m not the only one struggling with this. College couples are dispersed across the United States, along with college best friends, roommates, and party buddies. I read the status updates all the time ,“Wishing I was in Denver with my boyfriend,” and Twitter updates, “Drinking …wish my college girls were with me.” All of those college relationships that become so much a piece of us are for the most part changed upon graduation. We all throw our cap and gowns, and then it’s like “bye” – sometimes forever.

And I think this is just one of those things that makes being a new post-grad all the more difficult. We’re moving on from college, and in this most difficult transition the people who mean the most to us aren’t here with us. And we need them. So, not only are we adjusting to not having those special people around us, but we are adjusting to everything else – on our own. Sometimes it feels lonely and scary, and sometimes it feels bittersweet. Regardless though, it never makes you stop missing the people you spent the last four years or so with.

I know I’m not the only one feeling this loss so, I’m wondering … how are you keeping in touch with your boyfriends (or maybe even your ex-boyfriends), your best friends, your sorority sisters, your lab partner from sophomore year, and anyone else that means the world to you? What are you doing to make it work? To feel a little more connected?

Another day, another dollar.

But I say; another day, another US Weekly Cover of Jennifer Aniston walking around in khakis, a white tee and aviators.  I’m serious, this woman is still plastered everywhere on the glossy pages of gossip magazines.  Didn’t she and Brad Pitt cut the ties half a decade ago?  Exactly what is the appeal keeping her around?  Because if you tell me it’s because of the infamous ‘Aniston Cut,’ I was over that when the Friends finale aired, in 2004.

She’s a single woman sans children.  And the press are still featuring her cover after cover for this “news coverage.”  However, Aniston seems to be supporting the single and childless wrath by staring in new movie called ‘The Switch’ where a single 40-year-old woman [Aniston] seeks a sperm donor to get pregnant.  This movie is only supporting and encouraging her life as a single woman without children. Is this real life?

Dear Jen: Don’t do this to yourself.

However, this only means bigger and better possible headlines for Aniston in the future.  If she’s encouraging ‘Aniston Stars in Movie About Single Woman Scrounging for Sperm Donor’ why can’t we have a little fun?  The current headlines, which barely span past ‘Pitt Wants Aniston Back‘ or ‘Aniston & Jolie: It’s War‘ are getting a little stuffy don’t you think?   Let’s take a guess at the top headlines for Aniston’s wholesome future in tabloids.

‘Jen Storms Into Jolie-Pitt Palace & Kidnaps Pax, Jolie Doesn’t Notice for Weeks’

Since Aniston’s plan to steal Brad Pitt from Jolie is clearly not working; she needs to take matters to another level. By holding Pax hostage.

‘Jennifer Aniston Adopts An Entire Country, Heart Still Yearns for Brad Pitt’

Since Aniston hits headlines craving a child by Brad Pitt more than I crave a Smart Water Gatorade after a struggle fest on the elliptical, this is bound to be the next step in her search for motherhood.

‘Aniston Hasn’t Worn Khakis In Weeks, In Ploy to Look More Like Jolie’

In an apparently constant struggle to look more like the slutty tantalizing Jolie, Aniston tosses her khaki pants and leather belt for an all black wardrobe. Say it isn’t so! Did I feel the planet just tilt a little?

‘Aniston Won’t Stop Sexting Jon Voight’

Well, if stealing from the Pitt-Jolie litter ain’t workin, and homegirl misses her khakis, girls gotta do what a girls gotta do.

‘John Mayer Claims Jennifer Aniston Used Him to Call Brad During Sex’

This is low, real low.  Aniston probably pulled Mayers elastic thong swimsuit back and snapped it in the phone speakers so Pitt could hear. “Here that Brad?! That’s the sound of lust and passion!”

In elementary school, I made friends in the sandbox – sharing my buckets and shovels. In middle school, I made friends by being that new girl from California living in a small Georgia town. In high school, I made friends by joining the newspaper and writing about my misfortunes of high school dating in an all-too honest column. In college, I made friends and bonded with them over two hour road-trips, Britney Spears’ Greatest Hits, and gas station food. Looking back, the whole process of making friends has always seemed easy, but now what?

I’m out of college, on the opposite side of the country, living with my dad who thinks he is starring in his own comedy sitcom, and completely alone. Those closest to me are elsewhere. My boyfriend is on the opposite coast. My best friend is in the middle of Atlanta. My dearest, bestie ever is living in South Africa! My college friends are strewn across the USA. And here I am, writing about how to make friends at 22 years of age without an inkling of what to do.

In all honesty, I’m actually surprised with the sudden need to make friends. Going into my senior year of college, the girls I thought were my friends for life broke up with me. The friend break-up was a major wake-up call! Although it ended up being one of the best things that happened to me, and I was really lucky to get out of that situation, I will admit – it made me very cautious and guarded about people and their intentions. During senior year, the word “friendship” was completely out of my vocabulary.

But just like with any break-up, there comes a point when you feel ready to give it another go. I think I’m ready to find a friend or someone out here that I can hang out with, shop with, and do friend things with. Even though I’m incredibly busy, I can’t spend all of my time working, writing, studying for the LSAT, and never have social interaction. Oh, and as much as I love spending time with my dad, there is only so much time you can spend with a 50-year-old chain smoking business man that frequently quotes Judge Judy.

Although it hasn’t been quite a full month on this post-grad journey, I will admit that making friends has become a priority of something I want in my life. I’m in this new place so I think it’s only natural to want to spend time with other people and make new memories, especially now that I’m out of college and everything is so different than it was two months ago when I was still on campus.

But what am I supposed to do to meet people? Go to the bar? Although I love Snooki from The Jersey Shore, I have to admit – I’m not looking for a fist-pumping shore girl to hang out with. And the whole idea of a bar makes things seem kinda sleezy. I want to make friends, not be accosted by sketchy guys. Also, I rather have quality – not quantity – and I don’t know what kind of quality people I will be finding under flashing lights, techno beats, and the help of a few vodka collins’! Plus, how does one make friends at a bar? Do I need a pick-up line? Do I ask for her number?

This is making me contemplate putting up one of those personal ads on Craigslist – “In Search of a Friend.” How creepy, right? Maybe I could even add an application for people to fill out, if they want to be my friend and then I can rank the applicants based upon their responses to my friend application?

OK, obviously, Craigslist is not the answer!

Maybe, if I ever find a job, I will meet people my own age. But until then, it looks like my best friend will continue to be me. And my pops.

Really, what’s a post-college girl to do?

I’ve never been the girl to think about my future too much or obsess over meeting Mr. Right. I’ve met a whole lot of Mr. Wrongs lately so I’ve been happy hanging out with Mr. Right-Nows instead.

Even when I was little, unlike many other girls, I never ever fantasized about my future wedding… until now.

I’m 21 and I’ve got the bridal bug. It’s all I can think about! I don’t know if it’s all the “Say Yes to the Dress” episodes I’ve been watching (I’m obsesssssed) or if my biological clock is fiercely ticking faster, but all I can think about is weddings, weddings, weddings.

Over the past few months I’ve gone from an I’m-never-getting-married mentality to I-want a-short-ceremony-on-the-beach-250-guests-top-and-a-Monique-Lhuilier-dress-from-the-2010-spring-collection mentality. And my sudden interest in floral arrangements and color palettes is starting to freak me out.

I realize a wedding and a marriage are two completely separate concepts: a wedding lasts a day, while marriage is supposed to last forever. But I realllly want to have that one day of planned perfection right now.

Does anyone else feel this way? And should I feel bad or pathetic for feeling the way I do?

I’ve always been a huge supporter of single womanhood and feeling complete without the presence of a man or relationship, so why all of a sudden do I feel that I need a WEDDING to feel whole?

Am I starving for some attention? Is this just the natural effect of a society that has us believe from a young age that women aren’t fully complete until they’re married? Or is my uncharacteristic desire for romantic bliss a sign that I’m desperate for a relationship?

These are all questions that I just don’t have the answers to. But Dr. Phil does, obviously. According to him, if a woman is feeling any type of pressure to get married or the desire to get married (without the presence of a boyfriend…let alone a fiancé) she has lots of issues that can only be solved by these types of self-probing questions.

I’m not too keen on Dr. Phil (he seriously creeps me out), so does anyone else have better advice for me? Help me, and fast, before I pack an overnight back and camp out for Kleinfeld’s next blowout sale.

I want that. Sigh.

With the exception of a short love affair that ended via email (which the boy addressed to Natalie), I’ve been single for a long three years. And I’ve been totally OK with that for the most part. I’ve really gotten to figure myself out; my good qualities (I’m incredibly generous to those I love) and my not-so-good qualities (I’m what some people might refer to as a judgmental bitch).

While finding a boyfriend has always been on my “things that would be nice” list (along with winning the lottery and looking like Rachel Bilson), it was never something that I was actively seeking. I don’t mind spending time by myself. I don’t mind making independent decisions. I don’t mind doing everything I want, including watching The Hills in my underwear while eating a bowl of Kashi Go Lean Crunch.

But last night, as I was doing just that, something happened. When Justin Bobby handed Kristin his rocker leather coat and snuggled up to her as they watched the sunset I actually started crying. Yes, crying. Over an annoying fake couple on a bullsh*t show.

“I want that,” I thought to myself, as I used my sleeve to wipe snot from my upper lip.

My reaction surprised me. I had no idea how badly I wanted a boyfriend, but the tears-turned-deep-sobbing were telling another story. And then I realized that there were many other aspects of my life that were equally as telling.

Yeah, after taking a deeper look, I’ve realized that I am most definitely ready for a boyfriend. And by “ready,” I mean, “I’m sick of watching Sunday night TV alone and I need someone to play with my hair while I lay on their lap…now.”

Not sure if you’re ready? Here are a few tell-tale signs your jonesing for a BF:

1. Commercials for Kay Jewelers make you cry.
2. Your Netflix queue is full of movies starring Hugh Grant, Sandra Bullock and Julia Roberts.
3. You lay a pillow lengthwise next to you in bed so it feels like someone else is lying next to you.
4. You start dressing up to run errands on the off-chance that you may run into your future husband.
5. You check Craigslist Missed Connections religiously to see if that cute guy you saw on your errands felt the connection too.
6. You take pleasure in the fact that strangers often mistake your guy BFF for your boyfriend.
7. You silently curse happy couples kissing/holding hands/breathing in public
8. You work out a lot more.
9. You break down and cry in the bathroom when your family members ask about your dating life.
10. You crave cuddles more than sex.

You got any more signs? Share them below!

I have never been good at being alone. For me, loneliness = boredom = depression. I like to be surrounded by people, whether they’re friends, family, or my boyfriend. But right now, my boyfriend lives on the other side of the country, my friends are all home for the summer, and my family is hours away. And I’m starting to realize that being alone doesn’t mean you have to be lonely.

If you’re finding yourself alone a lot lately (maybe you moved to a new city for school/work, just went through a break up, fought with your friends, whatever) here are some tips to fight off the loneliness.

Read
Get lost in a good book. My favorites this summer have been The Time Traveler’s Wife, God-Shaped Hole, and Never Let Me Go. Books can be expensive, so find a library, put in a long list of holds, and make it a goal to read each book before the next one becomes available.

Watch TV
Find a good show or two, with characters you connect to, and start following their lives. Studies have actually shown that watching television can serve as a “social surrogate” and fill our need for social interaction. It may not be the best long term solution, but it can help for a little while. Don’t like any of the crap on TV today? Get a DVD box set of a good show you missed out on seeing in its hay-day (I like Freaks and Geeks, Dead Like Me, and The Sopranos).

Self-Improvement
I’m not suggesting you spend tons of money on one of the popular faux-psychology books of the moment. Instead, pick something you’ve always wanted to do and actually DO it. Learn a new language, start playing an instrument, or even just write in a diary every day. You’ll get to accomplish a goal you’ve always had, and you’ll be too busy to feel lonely.

Get Out!
Go out to places where you can be alone in a group. Go people-watch at a coffee shop or outdoor park. Go to a movie. Go to a bar. Just being around people will make you feel less lonely, even if you don’t interact with them. And who knows, maybe you will make a friend or two.

If All Else Fails…
Snuggle up with this “guy.”

The main point I’m trying to make is that it’s possible to enjoy time alone. If you can find ways to entertain yourself, you will never be hopelessly lonely. So get out there and start finding fun things to do, and let me know when you discover something I don’t have on my list!

There’s nothing like a good old-fashioned American holiday to make you realize how alone you are in this world. Everything’s been going pretty well (according to my new post-college standards of pretty well) and I thought that for the most part I was building up quite the little social network of friends who would make me not feel quite so isolated. We would Gchat at work, grab Pinkberry here and there, perhaps even attend the occasional happy hour.

But apparently that social network of friends was a pure figment of my imagination.

July 4th came out of nowhere and everyone (people I’ve never spoken to) kept asking me what I was planning on doing. On the outside I remained calm and collected and responded with dignity; I’ll figure it out. But on the inside I was panicking like it was Halloween eve and my only available costume was sexy bunny. I would casually bring it up to my “friends” and they all would respond with excitement about boat trips with friends, annual family BBQ’s, and lake houses in states I thought were made-up. Then they would ask me what I was doing and I would mumble something about fireworks and hot dogs and anti-terrorism laws.

I started to tell myself that it would be fun to spend the day alone. I don’t even own an American flag and hot dogs give me stomach problems. This holiday really isn’t for me, anyways. But then like an 11:59 new years eve kiss potential coming out of nowhere, a former camper called me and said she wanted to do something. Sure she’s 18 and sure I had to hand pick her up from the train because her mom said so, but now at least I could say I was doing something.

Unfortunately, once I made those plans no one even asked me my plans anymore. So I went to dinner with the former camper and we talked prom and summer and being so over high school friends (except I really am because hers still call her to do things). The whole night made me feel youthful again and wise with advice for her pre-college ears. And also hostile because tourists were heading for the fireworks 8 hours early and barreling their fold-up lawn chairs into everyone on the subway.

But I can’t complain, because at least I found someone who wanted to spend the holiday with me.

I guess I better start booking my Labor Day weekend ASAP. Step 1: make real friends in NYC.

1. I put on sweats, grab a blanket and settle in front of my couch for the day/night/month.
2. I eat a box of Oreos smothered in peanut butter.

Ok, I’ll be honest – I do both. And usually polish off the jar of pb with a spoon.

I used to think that those nights made me feel better because of the intense sugar rush all that quality programming (read: Food Network challenges) distracted me from my personal issues, but a new study is saying that watching TV actually cures loneliness.

According to a series of studies performed at the University at Buffalo and Miami University of Ohio, people feel personally connected to the characters they watch on TV, so much so that it is like they are actually a part of whatever is going on week after week. These “relationships” fulfill them (much like my Oreo/pb combo fulfills me) and their need for personal contact.

So, basically, my long stints in front of the TV take away my loneliness not because they are distracting me from it, but because I feel as if I am right there with Bobby Flay cooking up a 6 course meal with a crazy secret ingredient in 60 minutes. And we are totally BFF.

I can sorta see the truth in this – lord knows I talk about LC and Audrina like we are all living together and crushing on the Brodester – but it all seems so sad. Do people really think that they are part of Blair Waldorf’s latest scheme? Do they really stop questioning the fact that they have 9 cats and a crazy knitting hobby because they feel so close to Pam and Jim on The Office?

And maybe people wouldn’t be so lonely if they LEFT THE HOUSE ONCE IN AWHILE INSTEAD OF SITTING HOME AND WATCHING TV. (Caps were used to emphasize my point…to myself.)

Oh well. At least I know I don’t need the 4,327 calorie snack I’ve been downing to get over the lonely blues. One episode of Ace of Cakes should do the trick.