My boyfriend and I had our first fight the other day and it was harsh. I’m not any good at fighting; the second I sense confrontation I shrivel up inside. But what made this fight SO hard was the fact that it was done long-distance.

LDR’s have their pros and cons, but fighting is a definite con. Why is fighting so much harder in long-distance relationships, and how can we make it easier?

You Can’t See Each Other

A good percent of communication is nonverbal. Body language and facial expressions are essential to understanding another person’s intent. When you fight over the phone, as in an LDR, you lose these important aspects and things can come out much harsher (or nicer) than you intend. To help remedy this problem, speak clearly and honestly to make sure you both truly understand where the other is coming from.

The Silent Treatment Is So Much Easier

All you have to do is hang up the phone, or refuse to answer in the first place. It’s a tempting thought when you’re really upset, but you’ll never resolve the issue without communicating. The best advice I can give you is don’t hang up! It’ll just upset you both more (your partner will be upset you hung up and you’ll be upset if they don’t try calling back). Talk through the issue and refuse to cut off communication until some agreement has been made, even if its just that you’ll talk it out more later. Read More »

Got a question? Get an answer! Email her at tuffylove@collegecandy.com to be featured in her column, which runs every other Tuesday!

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I go to school out of state about an 8 hour drive from home. What should I do about a long term relationship? Should I have one at my home state or my school state? And how do I keep up with either one when I’m in the other state?

Long Distance Lover

Dear Long Distance Lover,

Really, really good question.

I guess the only answer I can honestly give you (and it’s annoying, I know) is that you should take love where you find it.

It is this girl’s opinion that love is not something you can force. If you meet a guy at school who you like but there’s someone you love at home–well, how can you give up love for like? The same is true in reverse: If there’s a guy you like at home but a guy you love at school, you should go for the love. Read More »