The Long Distance Relationship.

It sucks, but I keep telling myself that absence makes the heart grow fonder.

I’ve been in an on and off relationship with this guy for eight years. Yes, we first started dating when I was about ten. That’s a very long time, and we’ve been through a lot, including six month periods of not talking at all. Times where I was depressed and mopey and times where I was rebellious and happy.

He’s my best friend, my love, and the one I’m pretty confident I will be with for the rest of my life. Well, we got back together, again, and now my boyfriend has moved across the country. Yet another hurdle to overcome.

Instead of getting angry or upset, I decided to look at the situation in a positive light. I could go visit for a few weeks, and he would be home for holidays. It can’t be that bad. In fact, I just returned home from a two and a half week visit with him, and it was the most amazing trip I’ve ever had. That vacation definitely solidified everything I’ve felt about him for so long. Yes, LDRs are difficult, but they can be done. If you are willing to work through it like we are, it will be worth it in the end.

But it will be work, so here a few things to keep in mind when you and your man go long distance: Read More »

Brian and I broke up under relatively ridiculous terms. We were in the midst of a long distance relationship. A passionate one.

We both got wasted one night and in a fight via text message. And that led to a fight via telephone. And that led to me texting him: “We’re Over“. And then we were.

Like some sort of f*cked up magic trick, I pulled the ‘We’re over!’ card out of my black hat and POOF…our relationship went silent. On the morning after, I woke up so hungover that I didn’t really recall what had happened the night before..until I read my text messages. And apparently, he woke up in the same scenario. But neither one of us made the effort to fix the damage we had done. I think it was because we both knew deep down that we were not right for each other, anyway. Read More »

My boyfriend is from India.

I say this not to brag about my exotic foreign catch, but rather to expound upon the humor that can come out of dating a non-native English speaker.

For instance, he doesn’t say “development,” he says “devil up mint.” Why this is so funny to me remains elusive to him, yet he insists he’s pronouncing the word correctly.

“One billion Indians can’t be wrong,” he says.

Well, OK, he may have a point. For me, at least, my international relationship is so much more engaging than dating, say, another American.

American guys? BO-RING! First of all, they pronounce every word the same way I do (unless they’re from the South, I guess, but that’s another story entirely). Secondly, they think drinking and video games are the be-all and end-all of existence. And finally, their cooking repertoire consists almost completely of Easy Mac and Hot Pockets. Yeah, that’s appealing. Read More »

Sometimes you need a little something like the holidays to give you an excuse to really…excel in the bedroom.

For those of you who have never delved into the whole sex toy thing don’t be alarmed. While the entire concept may seem seedy, it doesn’t have to be!This Christmas (or Hanukkah or Kwanzaa…) take the plunge into the world of adult toys. Don’t know where to start? Allow us to guide the way:

Boditalks – $69.00 (hehe…)

The slogan here is “getting off while you’re on”. And it’s simple. Boditalks is simply a vibrator that is activated by the use of your cell phone and it only turns off once the call is ended.

Do you know how useful this would have been when I was in a long distance relationship? For the college girls who are, you owe this to yourself!

Sex Night Planner - $12.00

Maybe vibrators are a little too much for you. Or maybe you don’t need one (lucky). In that case, make it fun and set up how you want things and when with a Sex Night Planner. Similar to Magnetic Poetry, this planner will tell your guys all the very important specifics of what you want.

I’m thinking this will go over well with the compulsive English major types, no? Read More »

Okay, okay, I may be a bit biased on this topic, due to my heartbreak three years ago at the end of my freshman year of college. But every year around this time, I get a little nostalgic about this issue.

All of my first year, I dated a boy from high school who went to college 14 hours away from me, and we somehow managed to make it through the whole year with visits, emails, and a hefty phone bill. I could not wait to get home for the summer and live in the same town again. But, upon returning, it was evident that things were different between us and he broke up with me. I was devastated and could not understand why this had happened. What did I do wrong?

The thing that I wish someone had told me originally is that, in college, people CHANGE, in some way or another, no matter what. And that’s not always a bad thing! I know I have grown into who I am over these four years and feel confident in what I want to do with my life and how I will get there.

Read More »

As I write this I am sitting at my boyfriends house, hanging out with his roommates dog and watching Weeds onDemand while he is in class. I’m also wearing his sweatpants.

This wouldn’t be such an uncommon scenario if he didn’t live 1,000 miles away, if kissing him didn’t cost two hundred dollars and seeing him didn’t require vacation time.

But it does. And for that reason, the LDR (or the Long Distance Relationship) is a lot of work. And you have to work at it. While it is wonderful, the LDR sucks so you should be completely and totally sure its right for you. I don’t advocate them.

And we all know our guy blogger Andrew really doesn’t advise them.

In fact, I never imagined I would be in one. But we were right together and right for each other and I couldn’t imagine not being with him.

So, we’re together even when we aren’t together. Seeing each other every five weeks does not a relationship make, which is why even though we should be in our “honeymoon phase”, having sex and wanting to spend every moment together, we’re already having to work on the relationship.

The good folks at CNN also saw the problems that lie within the long distance relationship. In this article, they provided some good (if not a bit obvious) advice that help make the LDR work.

Communicate

Ugh, communication. Sometimes it sucks talking on the phone ALL the time. So many times I would rather just sit next to him and watch a movie rather than sitting on the phone talking to him about it. Despite the fact that I feel like we talk all the time (which I don’t really mind) it helps because I feel like I’m a part of his day-to-day life even if I’m not there every day. Just saying hi in the morning helps me make it through my day. Read More »

It’s a well-documented fact that it’s an awful decision to carry a long distance relationship into your first year of college.

You have the opportunity to experience freedom for the first time; are you really going to waste the first of the four best years of our life in the corner of your dorm room whispering sweet nothings into your guy’s ear, and teasing him about all the things you’re going to do to him the next time you see him, which could very well be months from now? Of course not.

Freshman year of college is where long distance relationships go to die. And that’s exactly the way it should be. Read More »

I hope everyone had a nice holiday last week, and that ya’ll are keeping cool as this heatwave tortures the entire country. It looks like today’s questions are more focused on relationships and less focused on sex; maybe a sign that we’re all maturing together? Eh… probably not. But relationships are just as much fun to dissect, so let’s get right to the first question, which I’d imagine is on the minds of a great number of girls who are entrenched in long-term relationships…

Amber’s wonders, “In a long term relationship, what does a girl need to do to keep her man interested?”

Can’t wait to see how I answer this one, as keeping myself interested was probably the biggest problem I had in my major relationship, and more often than not, my lack of interest manifested itself in random trysts and affairs.

The short answer is, you shouldn’t NEED to do anything, especially when you are as young as most of us are. If you’re early 20-something boyfriend is having trouble staying interested in you after only a year or so, that’s an awful harbinger of things to come. Instead of trying to keep this guy interested, maybe you should think about cutting your losses and finding a guy that doesn’t need prodding to remain interested in his girlfriend. Read More »