No, Smirnoff shots don’t count, people.

Here’s how to order a fun, fresh type of cocktail. Sure they might rack up your bill a bit more than those Dollar Pitchers, but they’re guaranteed to slow you down from slugging back shots and pounding brews. And, most importantly, they taste good. Like, really, really good.

Leave your favorites (and least favorites!) in the comments. Oh, and I obviously left off Cosmopolitans. They are just so creepy Sex and the City cougarific.

10. Long Island Iced Tea
Trying to get the most bang for your buck? The Long Island Iced Tea is the way to go! Sure, it may not be the tastiest, nor the smartest option, but it’ll sure give you the most for your money with tequila, rum, gin and triple sec all in one glass.

9. Margaritas (Pomegranate, Raspberry, Strawberry, oooh!)
Spice up your routine by asking for a fun flavor. I’m partial to raspberry, but some bars can even make banana or mango margs. Yumm!

8. Mai Tais
Almond amazingness. Sip these by the pool all day and skip the Cuervo.

7. Mojito
An absolute necessity to perfect if you want to impress your guests. This fantastic minty, sugary drink goes down easy and is one of the best summertime treats.

6. Woo Woo!
Sick of Sex on the Beaches? Simplify with a woo woo and drink up!

5. Cape Codder (simply: vodka cran)
Not a big fan of carbonation? Me either. This is why I stick with the Vodka-Cranberry-Slice o lime classic.

4. Peartini
Seriously, I didn’t even know they made Pear vodka... amazing plus amazing.

3. Passion Pop Rocks Martini
Sounds crazy? Well check out this entire bevy of bizzare beverages! From Ham and Cheese (ew) to Chocolate Truffle (yum), this article lists some of the most nutty drinks ever.

2. Espresso Martini
Mmm Godiva liquer and espresso-y drinks? If you can’t get enough of a caffeine fix from your Starbucks run in the morning, afternoon and, okay, in the afternoon again, bring your love of the coffee bean to the bar and sip on these lovely martinis.

1. Lindsay Lohan
Okay, so I made an exception. This is a shot, but it’s too good not to share. Ask your bartender for a Lindsay Lohan. If he asks what it is, just say, “I need a red headed slut shot with a little bit of coke.” Disco.

It’s not like we don’t know what is healthy and what isn’t – we do. And we all vow that the next year will be different – that we’ll stop getting seconds at the caf and drinking 6 nights a week – but then classes start, beer pong ensues and it all goes out the window right to our asses.

To most of us calories are just confusing; who the hell knows how many calories we actually consume on a daily basis. How much work we need to do in order to burn off dollar pitcher night.  How many calories we burn walking to the library? But those things definitely need to be figure out if we want to steer clear of the not-so-attractive muffin top.

So, I thought I’d break it all down in a way everyone could understand: comparing the things we love to eat to our daily activities.

There’s always going to be that day when you have two tests to study for and an essay to write, which means zero time to cook yourself a healthy meal. But perhaps those days will be a little further in between knowing that you’ll have to wash dishes for five hours the next day to burn it off:

Two Slices of Domino’s Cheese Pizza (540 calories)= 3 hours of vacuuming (which is probably 1,214 laps around that 10X12 box of yours)

One Order of “General Tso’s Chicken” From Your Favorite Chinese Place (844 calories)= 2 hours of running on the treadmill at the gym

One Grande Starbucks Cinnamon Dolce Latte (330 calories)= 3 hours of taking notes in class

One Plain Bagel With Cream Cheese (436 calories)= 1 ½ hours of dancing at a party

One Bowl of Ramen Noodles (296 calories)= Walking around campus for an hour

One Subway 6” Philly Cheese Steak (520 calories)= 4 hours of doing laundry

Happy Hour Anyone? Think twice before ordering another round:

One Corona (148 calories)= standing in line at the bookstore for 2 hours

One Vodka Shot (100 calories)= 1 hour of sexual activity (Okay perhaps the vodka shot isn’t such a bad thing…)

One Long Island Iced Tea (275 calories)= 3 hours of reading/highlighting in a text book

This morning while slightly (and by slightly I mean, shoot-me-in-the-face) bored at work, I illegally signed into my AIM.

(Tip to all you working ladies out there: www.meebo.com is a wonderful site where you can log onto AIM and your bosses will never know. Mwahahaha)

Anyhoo, an equally sly and bored friend of mine was clearly also looking for some entertainment so we started chatting.

And at 10:14 AM on October 17, 2007 I had my first New Year’s 2008 query.

Yes, I think this is my new record. Usually New Year’s discussions don’t start until at least after Halloween, but post-college/big city life calls for a whole new set of rules.

And I’ll be honest; all talk of New Year’s has me nervous. Not because I need some big midnight kiss. Or because I am afraid I won’t have anyone to celebrate with. I am nervous because the last time I drank I had 2 beers and I passed out at 11.

Needless to say, I am really not in tip-top partying shape. While all my still-in-college friends rip shots and speak of late night parties, I have spent the past few weekends sipping tea and catching up on my Oprah.

If New Year’s discussions are already starting, that means I really need to trade in my Hot Tea for Long Island Iced Tea and start training for the festivities!

I need to build my tolerance. I need to build my stamina. I need to reunite myself with the burning in the back of my throat from numerous tequila shots and the general feeling of complete satisfaction from late night breadsticks.

I am going to approach New Year’s Training like I do my daily workouts; with hard work and a continuous focus on the goal.

And my regimen is gonna look a little something like this:

40’s on Saturday mornings

Boones Farm Strawberry Fields while getting ready to go out on Saturday nights.

Actually going out on Saturday nights.

No passing out before 3 AM on weekends.

Must drink at least 3 days per week. No more than 7.

No leaving a bar without taking at least one shot, preferably of tequila or whiskey.

It is going to be rough, but my old trainer always used to say, “No pain, no gain!” (as I crawled out of the gym after an hour long hell-session). I am ready for this challenge; I must work hard if I don’t want to spend the first moments of 2008 hugging the bowl in some public bathroom or passed out on some city street (after 3 beers).

I am determined. I will bring in 2008 in style. And on my feet.