"...I just farted."

I am pretty confident in my long-term relationship knowledge. Actually, at this point, I am pretty much an expert, as I am going on 8 years.

Yes, I heard the gasp. Someone just dropped her plate. Someone else is chocking on her Ramen. It isn’t common that you come across a college girl who is one half of a committed relationship, especially one with their high school sweetheart. But here I am. I do exist.

That being said, I know what it means to be a “real” couple. I’ve gone from the butterflies and blushing to knowing what he is thinking without even saying a word. We’ve been at this so long we’ve hit every milestone….more than once. And I’m talking about them all, from the biggies (like the first Valentine’s Day to meeting the parents) to the ones that people often forget, but which are the actual gauges of how serious your relationship really is.

The Fart
Undoubtedly one of the most important markers (and most disgusting, might I add) is farting. Yes, I had a couple excruciating years of holding them in every time we were together, and if one slipped out on accident I immediately blamed the dog. But there comes a point where you are comfortable enough with the other person to just let em’ rip  (of course my boyfriend probably wishes I was not this comfortable, but that’s besides the point). Read More »

If you’re in a first serious relationship like I am, there are a lot of questions and doubts swirling around. Part of you wants to hold back emotionally because, after all, this is the first time, and it’s rare to strike gold the first time you go digging. But you are so happy and in love and you just know this is a biggie.

But what does that mean? And how do we navigate the rocky waters of a serious relationship? The only guides we have are cheesy sitcoms. Do we actually need to exchange letter sweaters? Make a fuss on the six-month anniversary? Spend every waking moment together, or have our own time? Talk about every little detail of our childhoods? Can we disagree on something big and still be happy together?

It can be a difficult job to sift through what expectations to set in a healthy, supportive relationship. The important thing, however, is to do just that and have a clear idea of what your expectations are. If you’re expecting flowers every week but the significant other doesn’t believe in giving gifts, someone’s going to get their feelings hurt. Or if going out with friends of the opposite sex is upsetting for one person but not the other, some ground rules should be set. Living the monogamous life has plenty of pitfalls, but the smart, communicative couple can avoid most of them. Read More »

Ever notice how you always see a hot chick/ugly dude couple, but never see a smokin’ dude with a non-so-smokin’ lady?

There’s a reason, ladies, and it has to do with science.

Researchers at the University of California recently studied the preferences of single women and found that women prefer brains over biceps, something I have been telling people for years. However, this finding doesn’t only apply to long term relationships; when lookin’ for a little late night action (read: one night stand), women also tend to go for the more intelligent men.

When considering evolution, it makes sense that women would want to settle down with a smart man: so they could potentially produce smarter children. But researchers were shocked about the one night stand situation. I am not.

We all know there is that awkward time – usually around 30-60 minutes – between taking the man home for a little fun and actually having said fun. A time that is filled with awkward conversation about your classes, the pictures on your wall and…I don’t know….politics?

And who wants to have conversation with an idiot?

Also, a smarter man is probably more likely to know how to please a woman, as opposed to a moron who can’t tell a va-jay from an elbow.

I’m not sure this study was really necessary (I mean, duh), but it does help me prove to men that women aren’t as concerned with looks as they are. Oh, and it gives hope to those computer engineers out there that they too can get a little late night booty.

I’ve been on birth control since I was 17 years old. For a few years I was on Ortho Tri Cyclen, then I changed to Ortho Tri Cyclen Lo because my body reacts crazily to any kind of drug. The Pill has served me well over the years; keeping my periods semi-regular, keeping them relatively short and light, and you know…keeping the babies away. But here’s the thing: I’m kind of tired of it.

The biggest reason I’m tired of my Ortho Lo is because whenever I miss two pills in a row, no matter what freaking color they are, I don’t just get spotting — I get my period for two whole weeks. It’s just about the opposite of fun, and it happens a lot. Oh yeah, and additionally? Sometimes even when I don’t miss a pill, I’ll get my period early. No warning. Just BAM, welcome to cramps and have a great day!!!

I haven’t had a long term relationship for a while and I’m really over my hook-up days, so the only reason I’m still on BC is to keep my periods regular and short, and if that isn’t really happening…why the crap am I even bothering?

After doing a little research online, it seems like getting off birth control can be a tricky thing. It can throw your body wayyy out of wack, give you headaches, and possibly cause your face to break out — something I am never ever going through again.

So here I am, stuck at work, pissed off that my period is almost 2.5 weeks early, but scared to actually do anything about it. This is where you come in, lovely readers. Are any of you going through this? Have you gone through this in the past? Do you recommend taking a break from birth control?

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to satisfy my second chocolate craving in three weeks.

Like many long term relationships, my relationship with the birth control pill had many ups and downs.

Up = no babies.

Downs = weight gain, extreme emotions and severe migraine headaches.

For a while, the ups far outweighed the downs, but it soon got to a point where the headaches became debilitating (thus making me unable to have sex anyway), and I had to call it quits with the little pill. I tried other forms of birth control – the Nuva Ring, which was just too weird, and abstinence, which was just not realistic – and none of it worked.

I figured I was doomed to be sans BC forever, until my doctor told me about the IUD.

What is an IUD?

Basically, it’s a small object that is inserted through the cervix and placed in the uterus to prevent pregnancy. The doctor inserts the IUD onto your cervix where it stays for up to 10 years. If you want to get pregnant, you simply head back to the doctor and have it removed and your period and ovulation schedule return to normal. The IUD is 99.9% effective at preventing pregnancy and you never have to remember to take a pill again! Read More »

The Long Distance Relationship.

It sucks, but I keep telling myself that absence makes the heart grow fonder.

I’ve been in an on and off relationship with this guy for eight years. Yes, we first started dating when I was about ten. That’s a very long time, and we’ve been through a lot, including six month periods of not talking at all. Times where I was depressed and mopey and times where I was rebellious and happy.

He’s my best friend, my love, and the one I’m pretty confident I will be with for the rest of my life. Well, we got back together, again, and now my boyfriend has moved across the country. Yet another hurdle to overcome.

Instead of getting angry or upset, I decided to look at the situation in a positive light. I could go visit for a few weeks, and he would be home for holidays. It can’t be that bad. In fact, I just returned home from a two and a half week visit with him, and it was the most amazing trip I’ve ever had. That vacation definitely solidified everything I’ve felt about him for so long. Yes, LDRs are difficult, but they can be done. If you are willing to work through it like we are, it will be worth it in the end.

But it will be work, so here a few things to keep in mind when you and your man go long distance: Read More »

Like I said, I’ve been in a relationship with my guy for over four and a quarter years. And it’s awesome.

As an example, allow me to share with you an anecdote of undeniable cute proportions:

(BACKGROUND: I’m Jewish, he’s Asian-American, we’re both tattooless.)

We were on a double date with my friend and his coworker, who we’d set up. They both have a lot of tattoos, and my friend said to my boyfriend, “Do you have any tattoos?” He put his arm around me and said, “Oh, we don’t have tattoos–we’re Jewish.”

The point is, we are a team. We are not attached at the hip, but we do a lot of things together. So it only stands to reason that, after years and years of dating, Friday nights often end up as dinner and renting a movie. After all, it’s impossible to plan over 4 years worth of consistently creative dates. And we’re not big drinkers and we’re not drug users, so that eliminates blitzing the night away. And, frankly, we’re getting older (he’s 26, I’ll be 24 in a month)–we can’t keep acting like indie film loving hipster kids forever.

So here, for your benefit (and mine–seriously), I’ve compiled a list of date ideas for the not-so-new couple that still really digs each other. May you put them to good use. Read More »

When one of my friends gets a new boyfriend, I either hear an “Oh, we’re going to be together forever” speech or an “I don’t think I like him that much, we’ll probably break up soon” comment. I’ve always thought of myself as falling in the middle of these two categories, but an argument with my boyfriend made me think of how long I thought we could really go.

Even though it’s still the summer, my best friends and I have started talk of what to do for spring break. We were thinking of more people to invite and I brought the request up to my current boyfriend.

“If we’re still together by March, would you want to come to Mexico with us?” I asked.

“What do you mean ‘if’?” he replied. “Are you saying you think we’ll break up in the next few months?”

This exchange of words was followed by a rather long argument in which he thought I was being mean and I thought he was being unreasonable. I mean, if you’ve only been going out for 5 months, how far in advance should you really plan? Don’t get me wrong, I’ve planned parts of relationships before but they’ve never quite turned out the way I wanted. Read More »

Researchers in the UK have determined that women prefer men with facial stubble, whom they view as “tough, mature, aggressive, dominant and masculine – and as the best romantic partners, either for a fling or a long-term relationship”.

Research Psychologists at Northumbria University used computer technology to alter the photos of men’s faces to reflect different stages of facial hair- clean-shaven, light stubble, heavy stubble, light beard and full beard.

The study goes on to state: “In desirability for a short-term relationship, a female preference for male faces with stubble or light beard was found, with clean-shaven and fully bearded faces being the least preferred.” (Editor’s Note: I do love me a 5 o’clock shadow, except when it leaves me with red, irritated skin after a long, steamy makeout sesh.) Read More »

Long relationships. While wonderful, they can often fall into habitual, routine types of lifestyles that – while comforting – can be dull and lackluster of any excitement or romance. Having been in long relationships myself, topping out at four years as my longest, I have a few suggestions (from my own personal experiences and the experiences of others) on how to keep that flame burning bright even in oldest, most exhausted – but still loving – relationship.

Set aside one day or evening for a special date night, just the two of you. With the hustle and bustle of work, school, friends, going out, parties and the rest of what life entails, it is easy to get swept up with all your other life obligations that cause you to forget that you need to spend quality time together. A movie, a nice dinner, a good conversation, a playful bedtime activity – just something that reconnects the two of you privately.

Put yourself before him. In an article I read in Women’s Day, it was suggested (and I can second that, as most of you can, I’m sure) that women tend to place other people before them. Dr. Fulbright says, “the more a woman looks after her health and welfare, the better she will feel and the more she’ll be in the mood for sex.” Who knew that caring for you more, and him less, would create a stronger sexual bond behind closed doors? Knowing that, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind you taking a little “me” time. Read More »