Remember when you got rejected by some snot-nosed brat named Brad because you had a pimple on your forehead and your mom told you he was an idiot and looks don’t matter. She was lying, partly. Looks matter, whether we like it or not.

This isn’t a fat/thin kind of thing. So take your head out of that dark and periled pit filled with Weeping Angels and Halls of Mirrors. Beauty really is subjective, despite whatever environmental standards may have been implanted on our subconscious. But make no mistake, beauty counts when attracting the beasts and the princes alike. When you interact with someone for the first time what do you do? You look at them. And if you don’t like what you’re looking at, things are a bit more uphill from there, aren’t they?

This is a common sense article. Do you give guys a second look if what you see isn’t appealing? Don’t pretend you don’t judge some books by their covers. Everyone does! And that’s okay. It’s natural. “Shiny, good!” We all f*cking do it. No reason to be hypocritical and claim to be immune to such primal determining of potential mates.

When did people suddenly get on this, “only what’s inside a person matters” bullcrap? Don’t dare try to pass off that how you dress, how you get your hair cut, what style you envelope yourself into — hell even what kind of glasses you wear — don’t matter to you. You make choices. You pick. Or you decide not to, because that “don’t care” look is your statement. Oh, it’s all a bit persona reflecting the person. In class, job interviews, with your family, a million different set of circumstances that you make choices to look differently for. Why? Because how you look matters!

And you better believe it does when it comes to sex and love. Regardless if you’ve been together with someone for 2 years, 5 years or 20 years, how you look STILL matters. I mean, let’s be frank. Sometimes part of the thing that distances couples is the fact that they lose their attraction to each other. How does that happen? It’s not JUST — notice the qualification — because you feel like the other person is acting differently, they’re probably looking differently.Less appealing somehow and less stimulating. It takes work and it’s an effort BOTH partners need to make. We have a responsibility to our relationships to keep the spark alive and that requires some calculated or spontaneous changes to our looks.

Hell, we’re all going to evolve our styles and our looks anyway. Aging will dictate the changes we will need to make and help us be motivated to make them. Just to feel better if for no other reason. Because the point, ladies, is not simply “you need to look attractive for him,” it’s that how you look matters more to YOU. Own it!

If you don’t think you look good, no one else is going to. You’ve got to find that happy comfort in your body and in that comfort is your inner hotness that will radiate outward, for all to see.

Um no.

You’re still young and you do not need to turn into an old, married couple. You’ll have your entire post-grad life to do that. Instead you’re going to have to make an active effort to keep the sparks going. You can easily host a sexy sleepover — complete with sexiling your roommate — any night of the week.

Or you can keep it even more exciting by surprising your boyfriend with any of these 5 little tricks.

And don’t forget that a healthy relationship isn’t all about the sex. It’s about spending time with your beloved partner. If you’re unsure of how to break the pattern of watching lame movies with him every week, check out 101 ways to keep the romance alive.

A promise ring?

Maybe it’s all the religious hype that typically surrounds them, or maybe I don’t understand what the promise is, exactly (a promise to love each other? To save yourself for that person? To not cheat or stray?), but they just don’t make sense to me.

I thought being in a committed relationship meant all that already, so why a promise ring?

People have told me I’m unromantic and cold, but here’s the thing: I’m not unromantic. I’m a realist. I believe people fall hard and then get hurt hard. I also, however, truly believe that people do fall in love, but I don’t think all the hoopla is necessary in order to prove or show it.

I, personally, don’t think it’s necessary to use a piece of jewelry to prove your love for someone. Some may argue that the jewelry is a symbol of your love, but I think actions and emotions expressed are sufficient enough. My boyfriend and I love each other, but a ring isn’t what I need in order to keep our love in my heart.

I always thought promise rings were something that teenagers did as a way to devote their puppy love to each other. Or couples being separated in some way; if your boyfriend is going off to Iraq and he wants to give you something to remember him by – just in case – I get it. But a promise ring when you see the person all the time and are practically engaged already?

Why?

I don’t get it. And I probably never will.

People say life is boring when you’re in a really long relationship, but who are they kidding? Personally, I’ve never been happier. I love my long-term relationship because:

1. I have a built-in best friend.

Probably not everyone is best friends with their significant other, but I think a lot of people in long-term relationships are. I don’t always think about my boyfriend in a romantic way—sometimes I just think of him as someone who I want to call and share my good news with or someone who I want to hang out with because I know for sure that he can make me laugh. He’s always there for me, and not just as somebody to love, but as a true best friend.

2. I don’t have to be perfect.

When you’re in it for the long haul, you don’t always have to put your best foot forward. I remember having first (and second, and third) dates with people where I felt like I had to try my best to be funny and pretty and all-around wonderful. Since I have been with my boyfriend for several years and countless dates, both he and I know that I’m not always that way (he isn’t perfect, either, of course), and we’re OK with that. Sometimes I’m grumpy or rude or not very good-looking, and he just doesn’t care. It makes me feel so happy.

3. I don’t have to search for guys or decode their language.

If I were single and wanting to be in a relationship, I’d always be evaluating guys in the back of my mind for how they might fit with me. That’s tiring and frustrating. I’d also have to deal with wondering if I should see somebody again if I liked him, but not that much, or if he had habits that didn’t really thrill me (fine, I’ll admit it, I’m picky).

4. I have somebody to take care of me when I’m sick.

My boyfriend and I are long-distance as well as long-term, so I can’t always have him around when I’m sick, but it’s a real luxury when I can. If you have food poisoning or awful cramps, it’s kind of awkward to call up someone you’ve only been going out with for a month or two and say, “Hey… I look like a hag and I feel like crap, but could you come over and be with me?” But because we’ve been together so long and we care about each other so much, my boyfriend will curl up with me even if I have a terribly nasty, infectious disease.

5. We have memories.

This seems obvious, but you build up memories if you’ve been with somebody for longer than a year or two. They’re mostly unspoken, but they’re always there between you. Just think about all the really unique and fun things you’ve done with your family, for example (if you like them… I love my family, so this is easy for me). Having all these memories with my boyfriend of places we’ve been and things we’ve eaten and worn and done is like having a gigantic pillow to fall back on if I ever need to just think about something happy.

I feel like I’ve probably caused at least half of my readers to gag and leave by this point, but if there’s anybody left, chime in! What are your favorite things about long-term relationships, whether you’re in one or not?

[Image courtesy of datingsiteportal.net.]