It seems to me that cell phone etiquette is a thing of the past for this generation. From libraries to public transportation, everyone is always on his or her phone and they’re always being very rude about it. As a misanthrope I find everything about society to be extremely irritating but overheard phone conversations really grinds my gears. Who’s with me? All of you? Ok!

Lets evaluate the top ten most annoying conversations to overhear and make fun of those guilty of them.

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Finals Week has officially crept into our lives like the Grinch who stole Thirsty Thursdays. I know I’ve spent the past three days straight camping out in the library, creating classical music radio stations on my Pandora and eating Wheat Thins and coffee for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I can’t even remember the last time I’ve showered at this point, but a recent armpit sniff test proves it’s been too long. All I want is a long day at the spa, lots of dark chocolate, and a(n abnormally long) happy hour.

Although Finals Week may be a brutal task, at least it is reassuring to know everybody has to fight through it. And when I say everybody, I mean everybody. The library has become a home away from home for many college students, most of whom I could definitely do without. Read More »

Finals Week has officially crept into our lives like the Grinch who stole Thirsty Thursdays.  I know I’ve spent the past three days straight camping out in the library, creating classical music radio stations on my Pandora and eating Wheat Thins and coffee for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I can’t even remember the last time I’ve showered at this point, but a recent armpit sniff test proves it’s been too long. All I want is a long day at the spa, lots of dark chocolate, and a(n abnormally long) happy hour.

Although Finals Week may be a brutal task, at least it is reassuring to know everybody has to fight through it. And when I say everybody, I mean everybody. The library has become a home away from home for many college students, most of whom I could definitely do without. Read More »

Finals Week has officially crept into our lives like the Grinch who stole Thirsty Thursdays.  I know I’ve spent the past three days straight camping out in the library, creating classical music radio stations on my Pandora and eating Wheat Thins and coffee for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I can’t even remember the last time I’ve showered at this point, but a recent armpit sniff test proves it’s been too long. All I want is a long day at the spa, lots of dark chocolate, and a(n abnormally long) happy hour.

Although Finals Week may be a brutal task, at least it is reassuring to know everybody has to fight through it. And when I say everybody, I mean everybody. The library has become a home away from home for many college students, most of whom I could definitely do without.

The Stressed Out Stress Ball
Will someone please get this guy a cigarette? A beer? Something to make him stop pacing around my study table?! It honestly looks like he is going to self-destruct all over his unfinished pie graph. He’s ranting to all of his friends, compulsively scribbling meaningless chicken scratch all over his planner, and won’t stop talking to himself softly under his breath. And the heavy sighing? It. needs. to. stop.

The One That’s There to Socialize
Of all the places on campus you could chat with your friends and flirt with boys, you had to come to the LIBRARY? Why? Why would a room filled with books and college students (who haven’t showered) appeal to you? And what kind of conversations can you have in the library, anyway? “Oh, my God…there are so many, like, books in here.” Go “study” in your room, chatty. Read More »

Dear Library People,

SHUT UP. Holy crap. If you are talking on your cell phone, talking really loudly to your best friend, or just talking because you adore the sound of your own voice so much that you can’t seem to close your mouth, for the love of God, just stop.

I don’t care if you’re doing continual stage whispers. I don’t care if you’re on the first floor, where nobody does real studying. I don’t care if the library is the only place you ever run into your old roommate, so it’s the only possible place you can catch her up on all the gossip from last weekend. I’m sorry; you are out of luck. The library is not your social scene, and I will personally come and extract you from the building if you continue to obnoxiously make noise. Read More »