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Lourdes channels her Material girl momma

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Blame it on the booty call

Scarred. For. Life.

Our mothers may not always have the soundest judgment in situations regarding appropriate behavior, like when they think chain e-mail  jokes are actually funny and they think flipping through family photo albums with your friends is an enjoyable activity for all.

Note: they’re not.
Seriously.

Poor Lourdes must have a much longer list of Momma Madonna’s to-do taboos, one that must surely include posing for Dolce & Gabbana with her fifty-two year-old cleavage as the focal point.

Look Madge: the world knows you’re a celebrity mom with a young boyfriend and a fantastically fit body, but we really do not need to see it on large-scale prints in department stores and giant billboards in Times Square! Madonna/Madge/Esther/MILF-used-to-be, you are no longer a Material Girl who is Like A Virgin, so please stop pretending. If not for me and my night tremors then, please, do it for Lourdes! Break that contract if D&G won’t provide you with a sweater on set, and give the Photoshop guy (who’s clearly been working overtime) a break!

It’s not like you need the money, Margie. And isn’t the mental health of your daughter worth more than a pile of hundos anyway? Read More »

The weekend is over. You still feel hungover. You have no idea where all your money went. And where is that other shoe? I mean, how the hell did you get home with only one shoe? Ugh, and now you have to be up and chipper for that damn internship that doesn’t pay you anything anyway. Not that you do anything there. You just sit around waiting for someone to give you something to do while you refresh Facebook/CollegeCandy every 5 minutes.

Yeah, it all really sucks, but let’s be honest….you still look a whole lot better than this.

What the hell happened to Madonna? Her face is sinking in! And look at those scary arms! I wonder if her baseball boyfriend turned her on to the ‘roids?

Poor lady. All that marriage drama and weird religion bullsh*t is really taking its toll on the pop superstar. She used to be a fashion/sex/music icon and now…now, all she is doing is making me feel a whole lot better about my Monday-morning-under-eye-circles.

Thanks, Madge!

[Photo courtesy of TheSuperficial.com. Love it!]