Dear Dude,

My best friend came clean this summer and told me he has had feelings for me since the eighth grade (six years). There is one problem: he has had a girlfriend for a little over two and a half years. He told me he is losing interest in her, she is not his type, and he hates so many things about her; she was just the girl he needed at the time. He tells me I am beautiful and always makes me feel special. He and I have so much in common – we hung out all summer (he saw me more than his girlfriend), his mother even told him to break up with his girlfriend for me. He is the perfect guy for me he is really sweet and romantic and knows absolutely everything about me. I know him better than anyone else and he knows me just as well.

I went to visit him at school this year and I met all of his friends and they kept asking him if I was his new girlfriend. The day I had to leave to go back to my school he told me he didn’t know what he was still doing with his current girlfriend and every time his friends asked him if I was his new girlfriend he wanted to say yes. He also told me every time he sees me his feelings for me grow stronger and stronger.

I started to get sick of him telling me about all of his feelings for me and not doing anything about it. So I took some advice from my sister and told him that I couldn’t wait around for him. He broke up with his girlfriend. We didn’t talk for a few days, which is not normal at all because we talk all day and every day. I understand he needed space and time to think, but later that weekend he deleted me off of Facebook. I asked him what was going on and he told me his ex made him do it. That night he told me he might be getting back with his her because losing her for two days made him realize that everything he hated about her didn’t matter to him anymore. When he said that, it made me feel like he was telling me that I was not worth it. He made me promise to be his best friend forever because he needs me in his life.  He also told me he wishes I would have had feelings for him sooner because we would probably be together, and now he wants his feelings for me to fade because he knows they will never go away.

Is he just afraid of change? Did I mess everything up? Should I wait around for him? Would it be a bad idea to see him over Thanksgiving break? I don’t think I know how to move on from him – what should I do?

I’m in need of major advice,
Broken Hearted Girl Read More »

Question for La Tuff? Email her at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com for a chance to be featured in this column.

Dear Tuffy,

Okay so I have a dilemma and I have been offered a LOT of advice on it but none of it seems to be the right fit for me. Maybe you can offer some third party advice that is more direct. There is a boy I currently like. Problems:

1) He just got out of a long term relationship. Attempting to make a move now would just be pointless as he probably isn’t looking to jump into another relationship.
2) He lived in my dorm last year and we’re both back in the same dorm now. Dormcest: Yay or Nay?
3) We are good friends. – I fear I am in the friend zone.
4) I am lazy/shy. I want him to make the first move but I think if I wait to long he might find someone else.

Any advice you can offer would be great.

-Help Read More »

It has been a week of reminiscing for me. It seemed as though everywhere I looked there was something that reminded me of the happier days of my childhood.

- Reruns of Home Improvement took me back to the days when it was the only show my mom would let me stay up to watch because of my borderline unhealthy crush on JTT.
- My mom sent me some old family photos, including one of me donning a skort. When it was cool.
- And my roommate reminding me of the days when you had to hear that obnoxious dial-up tone just to get some awesome IM chat time on AOL.

Ahhh…the good ol’ days.

Now are the days of so-called “adulthood,” when mom no longer is in charge of selecting and purchasing your wardrobe (the purchasing part I didn’t mind so much…) and you are now responsible for updating your wardrobe with the latest trends every season by yourself.  The internet is now available everywhere (well, mostly) without that obnoxious dial-up tone, so that’s cool, but unless you are lucky enough win one, you have to actually purchase your own computer? What the eff?

And what’s this I hear about books being old news?

And don’t even get me started on the guy front. Who woulda thunk we’d actually be turning to guys for love advice? I mean, what happened to the days of sleepovers and gushing over some stupid note your crush passed you? Now, we are bombarded with where to meet guys, how to meet guys, wah wah wah. Between the dating scene and what alcoholic beverage I should down first, being grown up is exhausting!

Ugh. I never thought I’d say this, but I’m totes missing the days of math homework and skorts.

In this digital age, we are never apart from the ones we love, at least not for too long.  With smart phones, texting, Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, Skype, and SMS updates, we are just a press of a button away.  We are closer to other people than we have ever been before.  Even long distance relationships don’t seem that long-distance anymore.

But between new couples and old, is all this technology really bringing people together, or is it driving us apart?

While new technology is an awesome time-waster (among all the other fabulous things it does), the fact that it makes everyone so accessible is a little scary, not to mention the lack of mystery, chase, and boundaries between us all. We’re texting/IMing/Gchatting guys before we go out with them. And before that, we already know their favorite books, movies, quotes, hometown and birthday. We know what they’re doing, when they’re doing it… without ever asking them. Read More »

This Week’s Article: How To Trick Your Girlfriend Into Marrying You on ehow.com.

This week’s article explains how men can trick their girlfriend into marrying them. I think we can all agree tricking someone into marrying you is not a good idea, and I’m not sure why some guy needs to rope some chick into being his wife, but I never claimed to understand the mind of a man. If I did, well, we wouldn’t be here, would we?

Let’s see what these “men” have to say.

EHow says: “When you learn how to trick your girlfriend into marrying you, then you don’t have to stress going after the women of your dreams. Now all you have to do is find her and play the game until your wedding day.”

I say: Well, that explains it. Men need to trick women into marrying them so they don’t have to deal with being rejected by people they actually like. Awesome. Way to go, guys. I think it’s safe to say than any sane woman should never, ever marry someone who is “playing the game,” but some guys just play it oh. so. well. Especially thanks to guides like these ones. Read More »

Want your pregunta featured in Tuffy Luv’s biweekly column?! Email her at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com and ye shallllllll re-CEIVE!

Dear Tuffy Luv,

So for the past two months I’ve been hooking up with a friend of mine. It evolved slowly since he was my first at pretty much everything, so we only started having sex a couple weeks ago. We hang out most nights a week, though sometimes we hang out with other friends too so we don’t hook up then. And sometimes we hang out and do other stuff instead of hooking up. That has been happening more and more lately, and in situations where we could be hooking up, and it’s kind of been frustrating me.

We used to have the TV on so no one would hear us (we both live with our parents), but lately we’ve just been actually watching TV and not actually hooking up. Sometimes he says he’s “too tired” to do anything or to even hang out.  I don’t get it. Why would a guy choose not to have sex when he knows he could and he claims he wants to? I think I’ve been really cool about this whole thing, in terms of not getting clingy/weird/emotional, which I know guys are supposedly scared of in non-committed sexual relationships. I straight out asked him, “You’d tell me if you didn’t want to do anything anymore, right?” It wouldn’t be the end of the world, I’d just rather he be straightforward with me. However he said it wasn’t that at all, it’s just he felt like watching TV. Really? We haven’t had sex in over a week, yet we’ve hung out multiple times since then and he texts me and calls me almost every day and still asks to hang out. I don’t get it! Isn’t it supposed to be the guy who always wants to have sex, and the girl who says she’s not in the mood?

-Friend Without Benefits Read More »

After a recent production with a free love hippie who was supposedly sleeping sexily only in my bed, I have some questions.

This boy, god bless is heart, is an intimacy ninja. While he swears to every god under the sun, as well as the sun, that he has only been pairing his goodies with my goodies, he also has a couple of female friends with whom he cuddles. As in wraps his arms and legs around in a loving way.

And it is nothing more than a feel-good display of affection.

Upon announcing this to my girlfriends, the reactions varied, but all in the same direction:

“He CUDDLES with other girls? WHAAAAAAT?”

Upon announcing the news break to my male friends, the reactions were pretty humiliating:

“You’re an idiot, he is totally f*cking these girls.”

I’d reckon you might be feeling one of these two things right now, too. But let’s break it down. Read More »

Got a question? Get an answer! Email her at tuffylove@collegecandy.com to be featured in her column, which runs every other Tuesday!

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I go to school out of state about an 8 hour drive from home. What should I do about a long term relationship? Should I have one at my home state or my school state? And how do I keep up with either one when I’m in the other state?

Long Distance Lover

Dear Long Distance Lover,

Really, really good question.

I guess the only answer I can honestly give you (and it’s annoying, I know) is that you should take love where you find it.

It is this girl’s opinion that love is not something you can force. If you meet a guy at school who you like but there’s someone you love at home–well, how can you give up love for like? The same is true in reverse: If there’s a guy you like at home but a guy you love at school, you should go for the love. Read More »

Q: I met a guy about six months ago, we hit it off and after a few weeks we started hooking up. At first we couldn’t keep our hands off each other, making out every chance we got and having sleepovers every weekend. The sex was amazing, but I never orgasmed. I still really enjoyed being with him, it just wouldn’t happen for us no matter what he did or how hard he tried. This went on for about a month and a half and then he started losing interest in messing around, now we only hook up about once a month. Could it have anything to do with the fact that he couldn’t make me orgasm? And why is that so important to guys? It’s not like he couldn’t make me feel good without that.

A: Oh, the ever-so-popular “wtf happened?” question. Without knowing every background detail of your relationship, I’d say, sure, maybe he’s distancing himself because he’s hung up on the big O. But we all know it can be pretty much anything. Guys fall off the face of the earth every day for every reason imaginable, and in my experience, it’s rarely for the reason we think.

You say you still hook up about once a month–who’s initiating these hookups? Is he still showing the same amount of enthusiasm? And most importantly, have the two of you ever talked about the (non)orgasm issue? I’ve been in your shoes–I’m not super easy to please, and it seems like some guys have trouble understanding that sex can be awesome for us without an orgasm, so I usually tend to mention it in a light-hearted way, either be saying something like “no worries, I’m hard to please, but we’ll get there” or by laughing about it if the dude is the first to make a joke about it. Read More »

Wanna ask your friend Tuffs a question? Email her at tuffy@collegecandy.com for answers to anything and everything. …punch and pie.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I recently started dating a boy who is awesome. Compared to my total control freak ex boyfriend who never wanted me to go out and have fun, this new guy is awesome. He’s totally cute and fun to be around, and he’s always up for a good time. Whenever we’re out or just hanging out, his attention is totally on me, he introduces me to everyone, and I’m having a blast.

The thing is, his friends are total pigs. They cheat on their girlfriends almost every nght (I see them walk in and out with random girls…sometimes more than one a night…eww). I know guys are easily influenced by their friends, so I’m wondering if he has the same “whatever” attitude about being with more than one girl. When we’re together it doesn’t seem like that, but lord only knows boys change when they’re around their guy friends. Ugh, I just don’t want to be dragged along thinking I’m the only one with my boy. What do you think?

Love,

Cait Read More »