There is something so hot about the thought of meeting some guy – preferably one that looks like Usher – and being so into it that you can’t even wait to get home. You just gotta go to it. Right. There.

I don’t know if I’d be quite uninhibited enough to do it “on the couch, on the table, on the bar, or on the floor.” I know that Usher “don’t care who watching,” but, really? The bar? Isn’t that a teensy, tiny bit…public? Plus, I got thrown out of a bar last month for making out in front of the bartender; I can only imagine what the bartenders would have to say about me grabbing onto the beer taps in a fit of pleasure.

Maybe somewhere a bit more….secluded? Like a hallway? Or the kitchen? Once it’s closed, of course; no one wants that going on near their nachos. I’d consider the bathroom, except that I did try that once and it wasn’t too successful. There is always a giant line in the ladies’ room and the boys’ bathrooms are just too f-ing gross. Not to mention the fact that dudes at a urinal sorta ruin the mood.

Coat rooms are key. I would totally make love in the club in the coat room. Or behind the DJ booth. Right by the speakers. And the bass. (What? Did I go too far?)

Now, I just need to find someone make love (to) in this club. Someone that looks like Usher… or sorta does after a few shots.

[Delicious photo of Usher courtesy of streetknowledge.wordpress.com]

Okay, so the lyrics. The main chorus claims, “I wanna make love in this club” over and over. Does that sketch anyone else out? I wasn’t aware that doing the dirty in a club was considered acceptable these days. I mean, can’t we make love when we get home from the club? You know, a little bit of privacy is always good. Or at least avoiding the promise of getting arrested. Usher doesn’t “care who’s watching,” but I think I might.

I was just starting to look past the lyrics and appreciate the song for its danceability, when Young Jeezy chimes in, sounding angry and vindictive and claiming that he’ll, “bag you like some groceries.” No thank you. He wants to “make a movie, yeah, rated R,” but I kind of think if we were making love in the club, the movie would be rated at least NC-17.

We’ll just have to wait for Usher’s full-album, set to hit stores this spring and hope for some more hits like “Yeah!,” “Caught Up,” and “You Make Me Wanna” (and that’s not “You Make Me Wanna Make Love in This Club”). And for now, we can get down to the new single, welcoming back Usher’s smooth voice and trying our best to ignore the lyrics.