Gots a question for Tuffy Luv?! Ask it at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com.

Dear Tuffy Love,

I’m writing to you because I just can’t wrap my head around this. I’ve never been in a situation quite like this before.

To start out, I go to a conference center/camp in Maine every summer, which is about eleven hours from where I live in Philly. Five years ago, I met a guy named Toby there who was kind of dweeby, but a nice guy and a good buddy. Then three years ago, he started working at the camp, and I met him again. This time he was very different – he had grown several inches, put on a lot of muscle, and gained a lot of confidence. And, unfortunately, a girlfriend. Even so, there was a lot of tension between us because the attraction was clear, and we got very close, although never cheating. This continued the next year, with my emotional tie for him lasting the entire twelve months apart, despite some dating in between. This past summer, I also worked at the conference center, meaning we were both working and living at the same place for three months. He and the girlfriend had been rocky for years, and my presence ended up being a catalyst for their break up – Toby’s decision, and not mine. I was careful never to push my feelings on him while they were together. Only three days after that, we got together, and things got intense quickly. I slept over his place every night, lost my virginity to him, and had all the conversations that serious couples have about the future.

Now I’m back at school in Pennsylvania and he’s at school in New Hampshire. We decided to stay together, and for the first few days it was miserable being apart from him. But even more than that, back in spring, I met a guy named Alden, who I found adorable and sweet and funny and extremely attractive. We only hung out for maybe two weeks before school ended, but we spent most of the summer texting back in an innocent but fun way, which Toby knew about. Alden had a job he hated and spent most of it being bored and texting me, so there was a lot of interaction. Back at school this fall, almost all of my friends have graduated, so Alden and I have been spending a lot of time together. I mean, A LOT. As in, several hours a day, every day. And it’s no longer as innocent as I thought. We fell asleep hanging out on my bedroom floor, and sort of cuddled. And then we watched The Ring in his room and cuddled and held hands (because we were scared?) and when I was too scared to walk home he invited me to stay over and he would sleep on the floor (I didn’t). When we’re not together, we’re texting. We text as much as 100 times back and forth in a day.

So here’s my problem. I love Toby, and our friendship is very important to me, as well as our relationship. He’s planning on coming to visit me in October. I feel like I’m kind of “out of sight, out of mind,” because the more we’re apart, the less I think of him. Alden is becoming more and more a central figure in my life, but I have no idea if he feels the same why. At the same time, the fact that I’m even wondering that makes me nervous about my relationship. Am I being a terrible girlfriend? Do I break up with Toby now, or do I wait until after he visits? Am I being completely unfair? Should I break up with Toby now, or wait to find out if Alden feels the same way? (That feels awful though.) How do I negotiate this?

Oh my god help me,
Emotional Cheater

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If you wanna ask Tuffy a question, you can email her at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com.

Dear Tuffy Luv,
I’ve been with my bf for two and a half years and I think it’s a good thing to be friends with his three guy best friends. Not in a way that says ‘I’m gonna be THAT girl and force myself into all of your conversations and hang out times,’ but they are a big part of my life. They aren’t going anywhere, they all grew up together, and I’m glad my guy has some really good friends who know him so well. My boyfriend is adorkable – he’s pretty nerdy but he’s not terribly socially awkward like his good friend … let us call him “C”.

After trying to help C land a girlfriend (I’m a good wingwoman), we’ve become close.  Lately, some friends have been hosting Saturday Drinking Nights every week or so at their apartment. My boyfriend and I meet up with C and go there to have a good time, play Circle of Death, important college type things.

At the first drinking night C kept insisting he put his arm around my shoulder so that I may function as a stabilizer. He was quite wobbly so I accepted that excuse. The next drinking night two weeks later, I was sooooooo drunk by the end. One of my friends said she swore he saw him start off leaning on me for support, then gradually put his arm around my waist and had been gradually moving his hands toward other places before he noticed her watching him like a hawk. I can’t verify with my boyfriend – he’d been out on a 7-11 run. Read More »

If there’s one thing I learned from Gossip Girl last night, it’s that you can have sex with whomever you want, and the person you actually have feelings for (but aren’t banging, for some reason) will completely understand, and forgive you, and maybe even like you more.

If there’s one thing I already knew, it’s that when you’re the poor, unpopular kid on the Upper East Side, your life will be a continuous cycle of being walked over, speaking your mind, putting your foot in your mouth, and then being magically forgiven and allowed to advance to the next round.

Did you miss last night’s episode? Let me fill you in.

Within the first minute of GG, Nate mentions the inevitable party that will tangle everyone up in some drama that will continue to be played out next week.

Other expected GG staples: Catherine and Nate talk money; Serena and Dan are together but have issues (did I miss them deciding to be a “secret” couple?); and Jenny has some great ideas for her fashion internship, but she’s a lowly intern and isn’t allowed to have opinions.

The best thing about the first half? The mini gossip girls who approach Dan and throw in their two cents. If you missed it, two tweeny-bopping brunettes are on Dan’s side, and one tweeny-bopping blond is on team S. The blond asks Serena how she can kiss Dan, knowing his tongue has been in Georgina’s mouth, which seems a bit much when you consider the girs were, what, 11? The tweensters were obviously comic relief, but for some reason their opinions caused an awkward rift between S and Lonely Boy…which I was over by the next commercial. Read More »

So, we’re two seconds into the highly-anticipated season premiere of Gossip Girl, and already the hormones are flying! Cue gratuitous shot of Chace Crawford, panting and frisking some girl in the front seat of a car.

Mmmmm.

But this is GG, people. Chace Crawford sexcapades can hardly satisfy our thirst for smut clothed in Prada. Cut to Chuck, chardonnay in hand, on a beach with one…two…three insanely hot girls. Oh, Chuck Bass. You are what every sixteen-year-old boy should aspire to be before graduating high school.

First shocker of the episode: GG informs us that “Lonely Boy” Dan isn’t so lonely after all. It seems he has a new chick — wait, maybe two new girls? Can you spell R-E-B-O-U-N-D?

Of course, before our first commercial break, we need a love triangle, and some legit dramz. Send Chuck to meet Blair, looking sweet and dapper with roses in hand. Insert random new man (James), let Blair make steamy eye contact with Chuck and then shove her tongue down new guy’s throat. This is how it goes down for high schoolers in the Hamptons.

It’s game, set, match for Blair when she enjoys dinner with both James and Chuck, yet she still feels the need to run after Chuck when he storms away from the table with his tail between his legs. WTF Blair? We know you don’t feel the same way for James as you did for Nate. Otherwise you wouldn’t be chasing Chuck. Alas, poor Chuck, who used to be made of steel, turns on the waterworks again, just in time for another gratuitous Chace Crawford shot — hottie Nate running down the street in his underwear after his new lover’s husband comes home early from work. Read More »

Secret santas and fruit cake — two simple holidays staples I consider pretty innocent and wholesome. But in last night’s episode of Nip/Tuck, they were anything but. Santa’s secrecy reached a new level and that cake had some serious scandal baked inside.

Let’s begin with the love triangle.

Julia, Christian and Sean were seemingly adorable with their litte secret santa tradition. But beyond who’s buying what for who (like it’s hard to figure out with 3 people), Julia and Christian were secretly falling in love, leaving poor, mid-life crisis Sean out in the cold.

I couldn’t believe it took him so long to figure things out. But I guess it was quite appropriate for him to realize the truth once they revealed their gifts to each other. Merry Christmas Sean. Although it seemed like he was willing to accept the circumstances, I doubt Sean will give Christian his blessing.

Side note: Was this episode all about Julia or what? Not only were two guys practically fighting over her, but Eden was out to get her with her homemade fruit cake.

Honestly, what in God’s name was this about? Read More »