Sometimes a guy comes along that makes your chest fill with butterflies and causes the words in your mouth to become tangled and incomprehensible. Sometimes all of the stars align and you are actually able to DATE this amazing guy. You want to be together every waking second of every day. Most of us have been there. While this inseparable state is first exhilarating and then comfortable, there are a variety of risks you run by super-gluing yourself to your significant other.

My friends Anna and Jesse have served as real-life examples of the detrimental effects of this practice. Anna and Jesse have been dating slightly over a year and the hours they have spent apart during this period could be combined to form, at most, a full day (maybe).

Anna and Jesse take the same classes in school, eat every meal together, spend all of their free time side by side, and finally every night, go to sleep in the very same bed. If it were up to Anna, Jesse would probably escort her to the bathroom, but the boy stands up for himself once in a while. Read More »

People are always telling me that it is better to have loved and lost then never loved at all. And depending on the day, I tend to believe that.

That feeling of being in love is like nothing else; it is surreal, divine and really can’t be put into words. Being able to experience that – even if it ends badly – is totally worth it.

But the real question no one is asking is if it is better to have f*@#ed and lost than never to have f*@#ed at all.

I never really thought about it before, but my friend (and not the proverbial friend….really, a friend) is currently experiencing a long (looooooong) dry spell and is going absolutely crazy.

Having spent a good long year in a relationship filled with sex – sometimes 4 times a day – her current situation is hitting her hard making it nearly impossible to forget that delectable sextuation (get it? Sex +situation = sextuation!) she had before. Read More »

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Despite my relatively young age, I can confidently say that I’ve been through the wars as far as dating and relationships are concerned.

I’ve had serious, long-term relationships, and I’ve had long stretches where I’ve seriously whored myself around. I’ve dated girls exclusively, and I’ve dated four girls at once. I’ve lived with a serious girlfriend, and I’ve been tossed out on the street by said girlfriend for various indiscretions.

Anyway, in an effort to try something new, I’d like to open myself up to the readers of College Candy, to answer any questions or alleviate any concerns you may have about why a guy’s acting in a certain way. Or conversely, to help you see the light and get the hell out of a bad situation.

So let’s see if we can’t get this started, shall we? You can leave your questions in the comments section of this post, and if there’s enough interest, I’ll pump out a Q&A column a couple times a week.

And since it seems that girls are relentless in their quest to discover how the inner workings of a man’s mind works (I’ll clue you in: it doesn’t), let’s go ahead and get started with some questions!

Jess asks, “Where do you draw the line when it comes to discussing other relationships with the person you are sleeping with?” Read More »

Because every good show on TV ended about 6 weeks ago, I have been in a TV drought. If it weren’t for my DVR recording old episodes of 90210 when I am at work, I would have nothing to watch after a long day at the office. And since I am boring and old, my life revolves around TV.

Thank God, then, for my peeps over at MTV for bringing back only the best show of all time: Engaged and Underage. I have been waiting months for its return and tonight’s show reminded me of everything I was missing. I am still shaking from the excitement of it all.

For those of you who are not familiar with the show (and you should be ashamed of yourselves for missing this gem of quality programming), Engaged and Underage is another brilliant reality series on MTV that trails young couples on their way to marital bliss. Some are super religious teens who just want to get laid, some are young moms looking to cleanse their souls and still others are naïve kids thinking that marriage is better than one-night stands and walks of shame.

In the end it doesn’t matter; they are all making HUGE mistakes. Read More »

As common knowledge goes, single guys are wired to want to have sex with as many people as possible, while single women tend to withhold or avoid sex so people don’t think they’re big whores.

But according to a recent study done at the University of Florida, feelings trump societal gender expectations in monogamous relationships. When a guy and gal are committed and comfortable, society’s chains dissolve and love conquers (and allows for plentiful, egalitarian, guiltless sex). The study also discovered that men are more likely to find sex “physically and personably pleasurable.”

Surprise, surprise! Now tell me something I don’t know.

I give this study credit, though, for dispelling enduring and archaic gender roles. On the surface, we need these roles to categorize ourselves; you know, to decide who’s gonna cook and who’s gonna fix the car. Let’s face it, I don’t want to fix the car. Ever. It’s dirty. I’d much rather make a pie.

Therefore, gender roles, while restrictive, spring from truth. But they don’t need to extend past the chore chart. In the monogamous bedroom, everyone is equal. Until you hit that five – year mark and stop having sex altogether.

It always worked on TV. When Donna Martin and David Silver broke up on 90210, they stayed friends. When Ross and Rachel broke up on Friends, they were eventually fine hanging out with the group.

So is it any wonder that I always held out hope that the same things were possible for me?

Despite the fact that everyone told me differently, I always thought that my ex and I could defy all odds and stay friends long after our year long relationship came to an end. After all, it didn’t end badly. It just ended. Read More »

Asexuality. Is it a real thing? If so, what does it actually mean?

In an article by David Jay in American Sexuality Magazine, he explains what asexuality is, and how a person can have a satisfying relationship while identifying as an asexual individual. Jay should know—he’s speaking from first hand experience.

“One of the quirks of being asexual” Jay says, “is that classifying and prioritizing relationships becomes a mite tricky.” In his article, Jay explains how he sees himself as a bit of an ‘intimacy ho’. Unlike some asexuals who prefer a solitary lifestyle, Jay admits to desiring relationships (sans the sex) from many, many different people.

Upon learning early on that a meaningful relationship had to include sex, Jay rebelled. There had to be a way, he thought, to feel what he wanted to feel without the socially inflicted constraints.

“It wasn’t long before my close friendships started to look and act like dating, and it wasn’t much longer until they broke away from that and started to become something else entirely” he writes. “Relationships, I realized, can be fun, in much the same way that I imagine sex is fun for sexual folk. New types of pleasure started popping up all over, and it seemed like there would never be time to explore them all. They ran the gamut—from the intellectual to the physical, from the deeply empowering to the utterly frivolous.” Read More »

All of the phrases we use to describe emotional pain from a breakup actually might have a scientific basis. A great and informative website, healthbolt.net, provides a list of everything you might think is purely mental regarding emotions like love, but is really not.

For example, when you describe your relationship trauma as your heart being “broken”, this is not so far from the truth. “Brain imaging studies have shown that romantic rejection hurts like physical pain. Helen Fisher of Rutgers University proved that the same circuits of grey matter are triggered whether you have broken up or broken a leg.”

Or, if your friends try and coax you to go out and meet new people after a bad breakup, it might truly be physically good for you. “It might just help. According to Louanne Brizendine, author of The Female Brain, the only surefire way out of the ‘brain pain’ of relationship loss is to trigger a dopamine and oxytocin high – through sex.”

So, rebound hook-ups can now be considered a form of medication? Fabulous. Read More »

Once a cheater, always a cheater—isn’t that how it always goes? Well, as a former and fully recovered cheat-aholic herself, I beg to differ.

They say cheaters can’t change, but what do they know and who are they anyway? Certainly not me. The debate has gone round the world about 100x over and frankly, I don’t think I’ve ever heard of any real, solid answers. I’m talking stats and numbers—show me that cheaters can’t change, not just that the world has no faith in ‘em, or should I say “us.”

I was the cheater of all cheaters, I rolled with the worst of ‘em. Breaking hearts left and right, not caring about anyone or anything—I did not give a shit, and I definitely regret it all now. Not so much where if I could take it back I would, because it has molded me as a person today; but I wouldn’t mind a chance to apologize to all those I hurt along the way.

Why do people cheat in the first place? It varies; lack of sexual satisfaction, immaturity, wrong phase in someone’s life (my biggest reason for all of my cheating), too much to drink (another big one for me), and on and on. There really is no one reason or cause. But I can tell you one thing, people stop cheating and change for the better for one reason and one reason only—it’s called love; the true, the real, the mature version of it. Read More »