Everyone says your first time should be with someone you love. Well, here’s something “everyone” didn’t tell you: just because you lose it with someone you love doesn’t mean you won’t regret it. I certainly do. While I loved Sam very much, it was not at all the right time. When I look back on it, I don’t have a pleasant memory.

I had a really tumultuous relationship with Sam for about six years on and off at the time, which probably was a red flag to begin with. But I was young and in love, and he was “the one.” The timing with us was always wrong. We’d both be seeing other people, but always gravitated back to each other regardless. We would stay up all night on the phone, bitching to each other about anything and everything.

One night we were talking, and the topic of sex came up. He was curious, I think, if I had slept with someone. I was shocked that Sam would even propose the idea that I would lose it to someone other than him. He was relieved; “Good because I love you, and I want to have that experience with you.” That’s funny because he wasn’t a virgin. He had actually lost it to my ex-best-friend, but that’s a whole other story that we won’t get into now. Read More »

As girls, there’s one itty bitty thing that got screwed up in our chromosomes.  Any time we see a slightly attractive male we automatically throw ourselves in their direction like a piece of freakin’ meat.  We instantly get big, googly eyes, say things that we should be keeping to ourselves, and completely freak the eff out our potential soul mate.

It’s hard to remember that guys, unlike us, aren’t very complicated specimens. They typically have one thing running through their minds when they meet us (hint: it starts with an “s” and ends in “ex”), while we already have the wedding and future children’s names picked out by the time introductions are over.

We’re hopeless.  Hopeless romantics, that is.  We want a love like “The Notebook,” but it usually ends up looking more like “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days”…without the happily ever after.

Let’s not let Matthew McConaughey’s beautifully sculpted abs get away from us this time.  No, don’t tie your man down and lock him in your closet (unless he’s into that sort of thing).  All you have to do is avoid scaring him away. Easy, right?

Here are four things you should avoid if you want your happily ever after. Read More »

Sometimes I think we should just rename winter the season of love. When the cold weather comes in, it seems like couples just come out of the woodwork….or snowbanks. Suddenly they are holding hands in every store, making out on the sidewalks, and sharing kisses between sips of coffee at Starbucks.

Yes, it’s a little nauseating, but come on; everyone’s looking for a little love come holiday time.

But what makes a good love? A rugged jaw, some tight abs and some sparkling baby blues wouldn’t hurt, but when you get down to it, those are only an added bonus. The shiny gold bangle to your already perfect LBD. The truth is, there are way more important things every guy’s gotta have if he wants the honor of calling us his GF. And no, Pauly D, having a 25-minute daily hair regimen is not one of them.

So here are the 5 things we’re looking for when it comes to finding a boyf.

Makeout Skills:
Let’s be honest – no matter how much you love someone, no boyfriend can reach perfect status if there isn’t any chemistry, and chemistry simply can’t exist if the guy is sucking your nose off. Or licking your gums. Or drooling on your chin. A good boyfriend must have kissing mastered. And that means a variety, people. Sometimes we’re totally into a slow, romantic kiss, while other times we want to go at it like were in junior high and our parents could walk in any minute. Read More »

I am in the most amazing, secure and satisfying relationship I have ever been in but there is just one so-called “problem”; after nearly a year and a half, neither of us have said, “I love you.”

Now I know what this probably sounds like to some, or possibly even most, of you. (Believe me, I see it in the facial expressions of concerned friends and hear it in the tone of their strongly worded reactions.) There is obviously a clear issue here, right? Well, actually, I’m not so sure.

Now, to be honest, I would be lying if I didn’t admit that part of me (the part that sometimes, uncontrollably slips into this cliché, fairytale, chick flick inspired way of thinking that all love stories have basically 1 of 3 plots) at times wishes one of us would just find the courage to come out and say it already. I mean, it’s been long enough! And the pressure from friends and family who act like this is the biggest thing in the world to be concerned about, only adds fuel to this flame.

However, my usual, more sane, more rational and level-headed reaction to all of this is, “Who really cares?” Is actually saying that phrase really as significant or necessary as everyone our age makes it out to be? I mean, isn’t it true that actions should speak louder than words?

We are currently in a world where nearly every word in the “relationship dictionary” is rapidly being redefined. Take the word, meaning and supposed “sacredness” of marriage, for instance. It’s being entirely altered by things like the exceptionally high divorce rate (and the never ending publicity about celebrity divorces and adultery in the press). Or what about the many different names have we come up with in the last decade to define the new, modern, complicated relationships that keep arising: open relationship, no strings attached, friends with benefits, just hooking up… the list continues. Who even knows what the proper meaning and context of monogamy and love is these days. Read More »

You got a question? Tuffy got the answer. Come get it. TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I was stupid. I know I was stupid. I slept with the guy I’ve liked for a couple months in a casual hook-up sort of way. It may have happened more than once. I was sober (so was he). Yeah… not sure why I thought this was a semi-OK-ish idea either.

In case there’s a part of your brain going “eh, doesn’t sound all that bad…” I’ll give some background details. I’ve done FWB without issue. I’m fairly certain the only reason my friend even approached me about this was because he knows that. He caught me leaving to go meet up with my booty call… yeah, not too many reasons to be leaving the dorm at 2am alone and fully dressed and made up with a bag… so I basically told him where I was going. He was intrigued and we joked about it later, but I didn’t think he actually wanted to hook up with me. He did. I went along with it cause I figured it was as good as I would get with him. Only problem is that after I would feel like a whore and freak out internally cause I knew that this wasn’t how I wanted it to be with him. We were still friends in the normal sense – texting, hanging out; it didn’t get awkward or anything.

So I told him. I actually manned up (pardon the expression) and told him that I couldn’t do casual anymore with him because I like him. And I got told (after a long wait period – guys are really evasive I’ve noticed…) that he just wants to be friends. Understandable, though depressing. Only now he’s initiating 95% of our convos over Facebook and text and is doing so more often… I mean I just told him I like him, he basically says that he doesn’t feel the same way… so he’s going to talk to me more? What? I know the idiotic part of my brain doesn’t want to get over him, but how am I supposed to when now even he’s not letting me?!

-Boys need to start making sense

Dear BNTSMS,

First of all: What the hell do you think you’re doing walking around by yourself at 2:00 in the morning?!?!?!! GIRL. This is SO NOT smart behavior. Why the hell are you putting yourself at risk like that?! Women get raped all the time, sweetheart, and you need to at least TRY to protect yourself. If a booty call guy wants you to come over for The Sex, then he can damn well come over and escort you to his place.

Read More »

I have been hearing lots of stories from my college ladies lately and I have to be honest, I am getting a little worried.  Let me share a few with you.

Recently, I heard one about a junior that had been sleeping with her boyfriend  for a year and only had fake orgasms since she didn’t want to hurt his  feelings or tell him that she had actually NEVER orgasmed.  Sound familiar?

Here is another…A sophomore who was taking 3am drunk calls from her ex and hooking up, but ended up feeling lonelier and more depressed the next  day.  Although she keeps regretting it, she doesn’t know how to stop.  Has  this happened to anyone you know?

You might be saying “Kira, these have nothing to do with me,” but hear me out.  They have EVERYTHING to do with you. Here is why.

Since I started coaching college women, I feel like I am living in a world of stories about drunken hook-ups, walks of shame and disappointment.   Understand, I am not judging AT ALL.  Hooking-up is part of the college culture and can be a lot of fun.  My point is that after the laughing dies down about their latest escapades, I hear the sadness in their voices about how they thought he would call or that it would turn into more.  Rarely do they truly express too much since it somehow seems weak to say that they really want a relationship or to feel love and  affection.  I, too, have been guilty of the idea that to be a strong woman I should not want or need anyone, let alone a man.  But that is a lie that we have bought in to.  The real strength is understanding how we can grow into better individuals by being in relationships, learning from mistakes and by choosing love.  Even if sometimes it doesn’t work. Read More »

Dear Dude,

My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year now. We are long distance (he’s about an hour away) and we have ridiculous amounts of fun when we are together and he means the world to me. The problem is this: the feared and revered “L” word (love) has yet to enter the mix. He’s said “I like you more than you know.” He’s said “You really don’t know how much I like you.” He’s even gone as far as to ask “What would you do if I told you that I loved you?” But there’s been no real declaration of love after 13+ months. What’s a girl to do?

Sincerely,
Itching for Action Read More »

On Wednesday, I sat down after a long day of work, classes, and caffeine to find the only thing that could turn my day around waiting for me. My Glamour magazine had arrived. Eagerly, I sat down to indulge in some horoscope reading and horror story retelling. But before I even reached the cover story on Fergie I was sidetracked by something else entirely.

Glamour had listed their top six movie kisses of all time. And I have to say, I was a little disappointed.

The kisses they chose were certainly swoon worthy, but I didn’t think all of them deserved a top spot. And there were other kisses that were most definitely missing. Lots of kisses missing. Kisses that needed to be mentioned. So I selflessly spent hours and hours poring over YouTube video after YouTube video to compose this list for you, my top ten movie kisses of all time.

10. Jack and Rose, Titanic. Leo has come a long way since his days of freezing to death alongside a glacier, but I don’t think our generation will ever let him forget his days as a teen heart drop. This kiss, though not particularly impressive, sums up our teeny bopper days perfectly. It’s nostalgic and sweet and we’ll never let go.

9. Blane and Andie, Pretty in Pink. This list wouldn’t be complete without at least one Brat Pack shout out. And for me at least, it couldn’t be anything other than this movie. That final scene in the parking lot when Jack and Andie reunite at the senior prom after a huge fight just epitomizes everything I love and hate about teen angst and chick flicks. It’s cheesy and incredibly cliché but I would be lying if I said I didn’t wish something like that had happened at my high school prom. Read More »

[The following post was written by dating coach, Kira Sabin, a keg of dating and relationship wisdom. She's been helping people find love for years so we thought we'd tap this keg and see what sort of brilliant advice she has for the CollegeCandy readers. Drink up, ladies.]

At any give time since I was about 14, I thought I was ready to fall in love.  Through high school crushes, adult heartbreaks and many others in between, I always stuck to the idea that I wanted to fall in love and be in a real relationship but yet seemed to be jinxed.  Unlucky.  A hopeless disaster.  I even had a few years where the old song “But Not For Me” was my theme song.  I laughed about it with friends, joked about it with strangers and secretly would cry about it alone.

A few weeks ago, I went back to my alma mater for my college reunion and it brought back the memory of a pretty embarrassing moment that reminded me of time when I felt that love was “not for me.”  But really, it was. I just wasn’t ready….

I met J through my friend Beth junior year.  She was “dating” one of his friends and he and I got stuck hanging out at after bars when they would sneak off to “date.”  J was from the area and had moved back after college so he was a little older. (OK, 25 is not really older and the elderly jokes were probably pretty inappropriate…)  He was cool, funny, a photographer and easy on the eyes.  I instantly liked everything about him.  We started hanging out. Read More »

7 Reasons we fall out of love

Louis Vuitton FAIL

Yo flirty dude, you in?

the cool (literally) way to clean jeans

Stay kissable all winter long

Our fave funny lady gets a new show

All your favorite female celebs all dressed up

12 sexy bald female celebrities

This cookie looks amazing!

Rihanna’s Only Girls Video Debut