Oh, I see what’s happening here. Because fun little artwork is much cuter and classier than your giant crack hanging out of the top of your jeans. And it draws way less attention.

The fact that a product like this exists makes me question humanity. It’s the type of thing that would worry Tim Gunn and put Anna Wintour into a coma. Can’t we all just agree to nix the ill fitting jeans?

Yeah, those were the days. You would sit in class and have no choice but to stare at the ass-crack of the girl in front of you. If you were lucky, she was wearing bikini style underwear. Otherwise, it was nothing but crack.

Well, people got sick of it – especially designers. In order to combat the crack, style makers decided to take jeans higher. Much higher. Enter the high waisted jean; it is very retro, very chic and very in right now.

While I love the lack of gratuitous crack in my life, I am not sure how I feel about the high waisted pant. Yes, Fergie looks great in a pair of high-waisted skinnies, but can all women really pull of this look?

What are your thoughts?

High Waisted Pants: Love em or Hate em?

Needless to say, they weren’t the classiest ladies in the room. Even more needless to say, I got a nice view of each of the ladies’ underwear choices for the evening: thongs.

The girls didn’t even have to bend over or sit down for the thongs to say hello; they were just out. Silly me, I thought that the thong out of the jeans trend ended back in 2005, but apparently I was wrong.

I was also very, very drunk, so I did what I do best; I talked shit about these girls to my friends. And also may have gone up to the Thong Crew and asked them if they were trying to make a fashion statement or just look really, really slutty before being dragged out of the bar by the people I was with.

If only I had known that night about Shibue Couture; I could have actually offered some advice instead of potentially starting a bar brawl.

The people over at Shibue Couture must have had me and my judgmental thoughts in mind when they created what can only be considered the best thing to happen to ladies lingerie since Victoria shared her secret. They have come out with a strapless G-string. The panty is made of some super soft fabrics and comes with 12 liners. You just use the adhesive and stick that puppy on just above your happy place where it then heads back to stick just above your crack (sorry, there is no dainty way to put it).

[It must be noted that these panties are best used on ladies who are all (or nearly) bare down there. I'm just sayin; it may not be too comfortable for our not-so-furless friends.]

The strapless G-string is perfect for those extra low rise jeans and super short skirts. No vag/thong flashing here. Someone should really let Paris, Britney and LiLo know about these things; it would save us all the horror of seeing their privates on an almost daily basis.