Andy Rooney, a super old guy who used to make movies and now just sits in an office and lets 60 Minutes totally take advantage of his oldness, recently ranted about how Americans are carrying “more stuff than they used to”.

The Duhness factor of his rant notwithstanding (I mean, what did people carry around in his day? Keys to a car they powered with their feet?), I decided to take a cue from Jezebel and go through my own purse to see if all the crap shoved inside was stuff I actually needed.

(This is a day when my bag is not splitting at the seems from carrying my giant, heavy laptop.)

1) Burt’s Bees hand cream: Totally needed. Since I can’t ever hold onto a pair of gloves longer than a week, my hands take a beating every winter. Unless I want the skin to rip off, I gotta moisturize at least twice a day.

2) Three tubes of Chapstick: Okay. Three might be an excessive number…but sometimes I want my lips fruity, other times I want serious moisture action, and every once in a while, a little instant caffeine. Read More »

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If you’re a scholar of Sex and the City like myself, you will automatically get the reference in the title. “Ah yes,” you will muse thoughtfully, “A goodie drawer.” This musing will be immediately followed by a naughty grin.

But, gasp, what if you don’t have such a drawer, a secret little niche of emergency condoms, astroglide, and perhaps a little vibe action? Don’t fret if you don’t have any of the crazy stuff (Come on, does anybody really need nipple clamps? Won’t pinching or perhaps a little nipping do the trick?) but you should at least have an assortment of condoms on hand. Guys can be forgetful oafs sometimes.

So if your goodie drawer is either non-existant, then today is the first day of the rest of your life. Point your browser to Babeland, the most non-sketchy sex toy superstore out there and start stocking up so you can start getting down in style.

The best part is that you don’t even have to endure the extreme awkwardness of comparing the benefits of Vibrator A to Vibrator B while some doting clerk looks on. Don’t know where to start? I’ve compiled you a little shopping list. Read More »