Every. single. time I find myself in a room full of boys, the conversation inevitably turns to threesomes (or farts, but that is a whole different article). From the jokes, “Dude, we can totally eiffel tower her,” to the stories, “And then she asked if she could bring a friend!” guys can’t get the threesome of of their minds.

Being that I have never taken part in one (shocking, I know), I never really understood the appeal. After all, sex with one person is fun enough, and haven’t you always heard the old adage, “three’s a crowd”? Why, then, are guys so completely obsessed with bringing an extra body into an already exciting situation? If it ain’t broke (which I can say sex most definitely is not), why turn it into a threesome?

Our resident boy gives us the lowdown.

If so—let me first congratulate you on getting way more action than most of us—and second, how about I let you in on a new, limited time offer for free sexy stuff!?

Durex is looking for new “condom testers” and wants to reward your safe-sex habits with free toys!

After logging on to their new website, all you have to do is fill out a one page form, click to send it in, and then wait to see if you’re one of the “1000 lucky men and lady folk” who will become “official Durex condom testers” and “get a bunch of free Durex products.”

Plus, you can even win $1000 just for answering a few questions.

Check out the Crazy Condom gallery after the jump!

Most of the questions on the form are super easy, but there is a required space for you to explain why you want to be a Durex tester in the first place. Considering that they’re probably being swamped by applications, make sure you use the utmost in creativity and flair when writing your answer.

Perhaps you need a ton of free condoms because you’re trying to break the world record for “Number of Orgasms in One Night”. Maybe you consider yourself your dorm’s very own “Condom Angel” and need supplies for those baskets full of goodies you leave in the bathrooms. Or, maybe you’re still a virgin, but plan on eventually getting very, very lucky.

Whatever your ingenious explanation is, just make sure to get it in soon, and let us know if you’re one of the lucky thousand!

…We promise not to come knocking on your door looking for handouts.

Maybe.

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