(We’re back with another weekly installment of G.W.W.E. [Guys We Wanna Eff]. How is it that we have NOT featured my favorite fraternal hottie, Owen Wilson? That’s almost a crime against humanity. Or at least, a crime against CollegeCandy readers who want to eff Big O.)

I’m gonna say it: I’m a big sap. Especially when it comes to puppies. There’s something about big, soulful puppy eyes that makes me squeal like a four-year-old. And all that cuddly fur. And those widdle, widdle paws…

But what’s cuter than puppies? Guys who love puppies. A dude who’s totally into playing around with man’s best friend is always effable in my book, cuz you know what? Chances are he’ll be equally as affectionate when he’s rubbing your belly and scratching your back. Prime example: Owen Wilson. His new film Marley and Me opens Christmas Day, and you can bet your (rawhide) bones my butt will be in attendance to see him (and his pup) shake their tails.

It’s not like I needed a cutesy dog movie to want to eff Owen Wilson, though. He has been very high on my radar ever since he appeared in The Royal Tenenbaums, which he co-wrote! (Since he’s a writer, and I’m a writer, clearly we are soulmates. Clearly.) As an actor, he’s been able to master all different varieties of comedy, from the subtlety he expressed in The Royal Tenenbaums to the full-on goofiness of Wedding Crashers. Emotional range is so effable.

Oh, and lets not forget that Owen’s sexiness definitely runs in the family. Score with him and you could count among your buddies his brothers Luke and Andrew, too. Mr. Wilson has been romantically linked to Kate Hudson and, most recently, Jennifer Aniston. I take it he likes blondes. Okay, O, if you ever want to jump ship and get to know eff a brunette, please call me!

Until then, I’ll settle for some effable photos and my vivid fantasies.

Men have always ruled the comedy scene. From dynamic duos such as Laurel and Hardy, Abbott and Costello and Jay and Silent Bob to teams such as the Happy Madison boys (Adam Sandler, David Spade, Rob Schneider, Peter Dante, Allen Covert and Nick Swardson) and the Frat Pack (Will Ferrell, Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Owen and Luke Wilson and Steve Carrell).

There are virtually no female comedic ensembles who can sell movies like these guys can.

In the stand-up circuit, men generally receive the biggest reception. Recently, I went to a stand-up comedy review that featured twenty comics in one night. Of those twenty, only three women took the stage. Three. WTF?

Women are pretty damn funny, so why don’t we get the same appraisal as men get? Films like Old School put the Frat Pack on the map, while the hysterical chick flick The Sweetest Thing flopped at the box office. The Wedding Crashers cast has people rolling in the aisles, while far too many people have never seen Christina Applegate, Cameron Diaz, and Selma Blair sing The Penis Song.

I took this assignment to cover the 5 Funniest Women out there, but quickly realized there is just too much talent to narrow it down so far. That said, what follows is my personal list of five of the wittiest women in the world, along with some honorable mentions. I welcome feedback, comments, and nominations, because I’m sure I’ve missed some ladies that can more than keep up with the boys. Read More »

Yesterday, Owen Wilson attempted suicide and is in critical condition.

As The National Enquirer reports, he apparently slit his wrists and took pain pills, and his brothers Andrew and Luke are with him at St. John’s Hospital in Santa Monica, CA.

There’s really nothing funny or entertaining to say about this; it’s especially sad because this is the kind of guy you’d never think would do something like this. He’s so funny and always seems so cool and calm….but I guess just like anyone else, ya just never know all the shit that’s hidden underneath the funny.