Look, people say lies serve no purpose and that honesty is the best policy. Is it? Is it even possible? Should it be the law of the land or just a nice ideal to attempt to live up to? I mean, there are some things you just don’t want to cop to, especially when you don’t know the person all that well. In the beginning, lying can be a way to tip-toe toward trust. Sounds illogical? What about life isn’t?

So the question becomes, what is it okay to lie about?

Criminal History
You don’t start a date with, “so I just got out of prison for taking an axe to my ex because she wouldn’t give me back my Battlestar Galactica blu-ray set. I mean, it was the COMPLETE SERIES! Do you want an appetizer?” DATE OVER! Unless her name’s Lumen and your name’s Dexter, keeping mum about your dark passenger might not be a bad policy until, maybe, date number 3? 30?

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Some are small. Some are big. Some are white. Some not so bright. We all have to get through the days/weeks/months/years somehow. A lie can be used for self-protection or self-delusion. All’s depending on the severity. However, there are certain universal themes to the lies we tell ourselves. Let’s see if you can figure out what some of the are. Like most things, they’re not as difficult to find as Waldo.

1. “Size doesn’t matter”

It matters. We get it. Girth more than length. But it’s tough to perform if you don’t…”believe in yourself.” So, yeah, we try to pump up so we can pump with purpose. It ain’t easy bein’ teeny-weeny. Overcompensation galore, thanks for complex, Napoleon.

2. “I’m not going bald”

I know a lot of 27 year-olds with sunburn on their scalps who refuse to pick up a bottle of Rogaine when they should be buying stock in the f*cking company. Baldness is a basic security threat to all men everywhere. There’s a sense of failure, public failure at that. I mean, if we can’t hold onto our hair, how can we hold on to a relationship? (Yes, that’s completely unrelated and illogical but so is the fear of looking like Lex Luthor) The shaved head has given the balding a footing in gaining acceptance in a shelter of denial (“I’m not bald, I just shave”). But still there’s a stigma that girls and employers equate bald with bad. Read More »

If you wanna ask Tuffy a question, you can email her at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com.

Dear Tuffy Luv,
I’ve been with my bf for two and a half years and I think it’s a good thing to be friends with his three guy best friends. Not in a way that says ‘I’m gonna be THAT girl and force myself into all of your conversations and hang out times,’ but they are a big part of my life. They aren’t going anywhere, they all grew up together, and I’m glad my guy has some really good friends who know him so well. My boyfriend is adorkable – he’s pretty nerdy but he’s not terribly socially awkward like his good friend … let us call him “C”.

After trying to help C land a girlfriend (I’m a good wingwoman), we’ve become close.  Lately, some friends have been hosting Saturday Drinking Nights every week or so at their apartment. My boyfriend and I meet up with C and go there to have a good time, play Circle of Death, important college type things.

At the first drinking night C kept insisting he put his arm around my shoulder so that I may function as a stabilizer. He was quite wobbly so I accepted that excuse. The next drinking night two weeks later, I was sooooooo drunk by the end. One of my friends said she swore he saw him start off leaning on me for support, then gradually put his arm around my waist and had been gradually moving his hands toward other places before he noticed her watching him like a hawk. I can’t verify with my boyfriend – he’d been out on a 7-11 run. Read More »

We’ve all done it, slipped a little white lie in when talking to a friend. Your hair looks fine. Of course he’ll call you back. You are absolutely right.

It’s not like you meant to be dishonest, but the words tumbled out of your mouth before you even had the chance to think about them. You’re not lying; you’re sparing her feelings. Does she really need to know that you think she completely overreacted or that no, you don’t think the reason he didn’t call was because he got run over by a truck? You’re just trying to be a good friend. But are you really? Not according to Lori Gottlieb, who believes that being one another’s “yes women” is turning our BFFs into our worst enemies.

I pride myself on always telling the truth, in friendships, in relationships, and at work. Always. Honesty is not only important; it’s necessary. It builds trust, gains respect, and keeps things simple. There is not a single situation that could possibly be made less complicated by lying. At least, that’s what I strive for, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I too have caved to the pressure of being a “yes women” on more than one occasion.

According to Gottlieb a “yes women” is a friend who tells you exactly what you want to hear. She reiterates your opinion right back to you, squashing your fears and reaffirming your beliefs. She makes you feel better about yourself, while also making herself feel better. If you’re right, then so is she. There’s safety in numbers. Misery loves company. We’re just helping each out, right?

Wrong. We think that by lying to our friends we’re helping them, when we’re actually doing just the opposite. Honesty is the best policy. It’s a tried and true cliché for a reason. Wouldn’t you want to know the truth? Isn’t it better that you have a BFF who cares enough to withstand your rage when she disagrees about your new boyfriend? Sometimes, the truth hurts. But that doesn’t make it any less valuable. Read More »

Foolproof ways to tell if he’s lying.

Inside Emily Blunt and John Krasinski’s wedding soiree!

Hollywood dating trend: do it with your agent.

Gorgeous Stila palette…for only $10?!

Mel Gibson’s evil rants by the numbers.

Some funny photobombs to cure the Monday blues.

There are some unwritten rules of friendship we all know: Thou shalt hold her hair back when she is praying to the porcelain god after a long Friday night. Thou shalt never date her ex-boyfriend, brother or best male friend. Thou shalt never have to watch Say Yes to the Dress alone. Thou shalt risk your life to satisfy the drunken cravings of your BFF.

But that’s where the clear-cut rules end and where the giant friendship gray area begins.

How can you tell if you are in a toxic friendship? Do you know how to tell if your friends are talking about you behind your back? And that friend who always compliments a terrible outfit choice or lets you date jerk after jerk – does she understand that, despite your feelings, honesty is the best policy? That there are certain moments between friends that always require the truth? Read More »

[Tomorrow, Friday, April 30th, is National Honesty Day. We're all about telling the truth around here (often to a fault), but as one writer argues, sometimes honesty may not be the best policy.]

Whoever said that “honesty is the best policy” has obviously never been in a relationship, nor had a best friend on their period. Sometimes a girl’s best friend is a white lie. Trust me, I know from experience. Not only have I had a petition signed against me (yeah, really), but I’ve also gotten into many fights that could have been avoided by not being brutally honest.

I’m not saying that in every situation we need to lie. In fact, lies can lead to the end of many relationships. There are, however, times when honesty probably isn’t a good idea. Don’t know what I mean? Here are some situations when it’s best to just bite your tongue: Read More »

It’s Wednesday, and in my book that means sipping the finest of boxed wines (and slapping the bag), watching Modern Family, and, of course, contemplating life’s strangest possibilities.

So let’s not waste any prime Franzia time and get right on down to business:

Would you rather have your nose light up every time you think about sex OR never be able to lie about anything?

Things to consider: that hot guy down the row at church, talking to your professor about missing class, writing your resume.

Vote and then share your reasoning below!

Blonde is my natural hair color. I rarely drink this much. I’m enjoying being single.

We all lie, in some form or another. We lie to our parents (it’s not a hangover; it’s a stomach bug), our teachers (I’m late because the bus was delayed, not because I forgot to set my alarm), our employers (it’s my mom’s birthday, not some girl in my hall’s 21^st) and our sexual partners (you’re the best I’ve ever had!).

Lying to someone you’re sleeping with is dangerous territory, though. By lying to them, you could be endangering their physical (or mental) health. Which lies are OK to tell, and what things do we have to fess up too?

Lie: I’ve never worn this lingerie for anyone else.

Verdict: OK. We all have a favorite pair of lingerie, and we’ve probably worn it with more than one partner. After all, good lingerie is expensive, and we shouldn’t have to throw it out just because a relationship ends. But your partner probably doesn’t want to know what you wore last time you canoodled with someone else, so it’s okay to keep that information to yourself, or fib a little if it comes up.

Lie: I never slept with [insert friend here].

Verdict: BAD. The truth will come out eventually, and it will not be pretty. How would you feel if you found out one of your partner’s close friends was actually someone they used to sleep with? It’s best to have this information up front. Read More »

I went to South Beach once. I ate really good sushi, stared into stores that I couldn’t even afford to walk into, and drunkenly slipped and fell on a stair leaving my entire left butt cheek so bruised I had to stand for the flight back to Michigan.  My trip would never have made good TV, which is probably why I am not on The City: too much ass, not enough drama.

The NYC kids (well, except Allie who was busy making porn in NYC) were sick of the dreary winter days so they decided to take a trip to Miami. Should be fun, right? Wrong. Obviously, drama follows these kids wherever they go and, obviously, Jay’s ex-fling (who he denies going home with that night after he and Whit started doin’ the dirty) happened to be at the same bar. Was it because she’s a total stalker? Perhaps.  A Coincidence? Perhaps. Whatever the reason, it turned the drama all the way up. Read More »