Dear Steve Jobs,

I have had my iPhone for almost a year now. I love it. I love how bright the screen is, I love how much it can do and I love having everything I need in the palm of my hand. In fact, I also love my MacBook. I am an Apple girl to the core (no pun intended…I am NOT in the mood for jokes right now).

At least, I was until this morning. All week everyone has been talking about 2 things: the new (faster, cheaper, better) iPhone and all the new applications that would be available for both iPhones. Being a current user, I didn’t care much about the new phone (except for the fact that it is FASTER, CHEAPER and BETTER…thankyouverymuch), but I couldn’t wait to get my hands on some of the fun new things I’d be able to download.

So, I woke up this morning, plugged in my phone and installed the new updates. As it was all loading up and getting ready I shopped the new App Store and planned what I was going to buy. Crosswords! Blackjack! So many fun games!

But wait. That wasn’t going to happen for me. No, because my phone got JACKED UP. Completely wiped. Unable to be recognized by my computer. Totally. un-useable.

I had a brief meltdown that included tears, a donut (you owe me a dollar) and a lot of profanity before I composed myself enough to get to the nearest Apple store for some Genius help. And, of course, that was a bust too. Because there were 4,000 people in line trying to buy the new iPhone and, OF COURSE, no one was able to do tech support today. Read More »

We all know that David Beckham is too. hot. for. words. And we wouldn’t turn down a romp in the sack with Brad Pitt, Will Smith or Jason Bateman. But, there is something to be said for the nerdy boys. They are sweet, smart and totally under-rated.

I have always held a soft-spot in my heart for the underdogs, and techy, nerdy boys are no exception. So, I am bringing to you the hottest nerds out there.

These boys give nerdery a verrry good name.

Read More »

You know those mornings. The ones when you and your girlfriends gather from your various places of shacking over lots of water and ibuprofen to remind each other of the hilarity that went down the night before. Amid all of the laughter (and reviewing of pictures….to jog your memory), you suddenly realize just what happened: the worst thing ever. And it was horrible. And it may or may not have been one of these:

5. A lost wallet and/or clutch. This is particularly disturbing because it is usually the first thing that hits you in the morning, well before you’ve had any time to nurse the hangover you earned. It feels very similar to being on a deserted island that smells strongly of vodka and lime. You are cell-less, cutting off contact with the outside world. With credit card whereabouts unknown and no proof of identity, you are left defenseless against fraud. If you are underage, there is the heavy burden of finding a new fake i.d. The brand new lip gloss and powder from MAC that you inevitably JUST bought are gone forever. Worst of all, your dear, loyal, and perfectly fashionable clutch will never be wedged into your armpit for pictures or table dancing ever again. R.I.P. Limited edition Coach Python and Boucle clutch. You will be missed.

4. The guy you went home with. Okay, last night this guy was h-o-t! He was witty and charming and so attentive to your needs; not once did he let you have an empty glass! Whether you met him at the pre-party, the bar, or on the way home (never a good sign), this dude – who seemed like a great idea at the time – is now nothing more than a big (or worse, tiny) mistake. Often, this error in judgment will use trickery and promises of rides on his family’s yacht to get you home with him, but come morning all he can offer is a ride home…if you’re lucky. High-tail it out of there and head to the nearest health clinic to make sure all he has given you is a bad memory. Read More »

John Mayer + Perez Hilton = oddly intriguing

Pee like a dude…virtually

I hope ScarJo’s album is better than its cover

Wait no more to see your Johnny Depp lovechild

Bobby Brown: still crazy

The mother of all ‘yo mama’ jokes

Richard Simmons is amazing

Another reason I hate happy couples

Jeff Goldblum thinks you should buy a Mac

Would you let Obama call you sweetie?

So you’re ready to meet the man of your dreams…all you need to do is find him. But you’ve been hanging out at the bars every Friday and Saturday night, been attending all of your business classes, and you’ve even been hanging out at your school’s football, baseball, and track practices daily. This whole trying to find a boy thing is getting tiring, isn’t it?

Well ladies, don’t fear; because as usual, Cosmo is here to tell you how to find the man of your dreams. And they’re telling us that we need to stop going to the bars and frat houses and we need to start hanging out at our local Apple store. Read More »

Ah. The sex tape. Nothing says “we like it naughty” like catching the entire thing on video.

Not only is this racy recording super hot to watch with a glass of wine and a set of lacy lingerie (oh, and your co-star), but it is also a great teaching aid to improve the happenings between your sheets. Or on the table/back of a cab/in a public bathroom, if that’s more your thing.

Even more fun than watching the video is making it. Simply setting up the tri-pod at the foot of the bed ups the bedroom-hot-factor to Wasabi standards. And bringing the camera into bed for a couple of shots allows you, director/star, to create some extremely artistic shots.

Throw in some costumes and a teacher/student scenario and you have yourself a full blown night to remember, which, coincidentally, is made even easier by the fact that you have a souvenir to take home with you. (Note: Mac users have a leg up [saucy!] on the rest of us thanks to iMovie. It is so easy to use and adds a sense of professionalism to a genre that classically offers a more “Indie” feel.)

But homemade videos aren’t always pleasure and prrrrrrr. The biggest problem with a sex tape is the tape itself. Sure, producing a home video seems like a good idea at the time; “It will be fun,” you tell yourself. “We trust each other.” Oh, and you’ve always wondered what your hind quarters looked like when you were on top. Read More »

Has real life dating gotten you down? Is it just too hard to interact with other singles, or even your spouse, in reality?

Have you ever wished there was a “Massively Multi-Player Online Erotic Game” where you could pretend to be smoking hot and have lots of cyber sex?

Then let me introduce you to Erotasy Island.

Much more than just your average cleverly named role playing game, Erotasy Island dubs itself a “romantic virtual vacation spot” where players can amuse themselves with activities such as strolling though “a lush jungle garden” or dining “in an amazing volcano view restaurant” all without having to step foot outside their house.

For a monthly fee, users (sadly for all those love-deprived Mac users out there, it seems only PC computers are compatable) can “interact” with people all over the world, most likely creating and maintaining a scantily clad Greek-ish avatar and doing all the things online they only dream of doing in the real world (that is, if you dream of “dancing in a disco”…which most of us haven’t done since 1975).

Not being up on the latest role-playing information, I have no real idea how all of this virtual fantasy stuff works—but I can imagine, and my imaginings are very, very boring. Read More »

Being an Apple fanatic and all, it’s essential that I mention this Friday marks the debut of Mac’s first ever iPhone. In typical Mac fashion, the iPhone is expected to break boundaries by bringing smart phones into the mainstream market.

What’s so freakin’ special about the iPhone, you ask?

Basically, it’s every piece of technology you’ve ever owned or dreamed of owning rolled into one.

It comes standard with every basic phone feature you can imagine (speaker phone, call waiting, call holding, conference calls, etc.); it has a wide array of impressive features acting as a camera (that is undoubtedly of a higher quality than my LG camera phone that solely produces green tinted pictures) and multimedia player (a la the iPod); and it has video capabilties, allowing users to view television programs, music videos, or movies on their hand held device. Read More »

Times have changed. Everybody and their mom knows that back in the day having a little extra junk in the truck, if people other than Sisqo still use that term, was grounds for medieval hottie status. Your ponderous figure was a sign of wealth and those skinny little serfs were a dime-a-dozen. Fast forward to USA 2007. The highest rates of obesity are now among the population groups with the highest poverty rates and the least education, while wealthier people tend to be slimmer, more toned, and probably sport better manicures.

What gives? Cheap food tends to be shitty food. Who among us hasn’t dropped way more than we’ve intended on a fresh fruit binge at Whole Foods? A cash strapped consumer can get a Big Mac Meal at McDonald’s for under five bucks, which also buys them well over 1,200 calories and crazy amounts of saturated fat. The real cost of the meal, in health problems, not to mention skinny jean stress, is well over your crisp fiver. Come on, we’ve all seen “Supersize Me”. A grilled chicken salad at Au Bon Pain will probably set you back seven or eight dollars, but it’s a small price to pay for fresh greens, lean protein, and not having your arteries instantly harden from inhaling a grim burger and grease soaked fries. Ew. Read More »

Spring has sprung, and so has the girliest makeup match-up of them all. M.A.C Cosmetics…and Barbie.

The two have paired up to launch an entire line of cosmetics, and each new lipstick makes the perfect solution to those dry lips left from the winter cold. Inspired by none other than the iconic doll herself, the lipsticks are $14 and come in five ultra-feminine shades – the brick red “Modern Ms.”, the plum pearled “Sweet & Single,” the subtle pink “Style It Up,” the glamorous pink “Real Doll,” and the hot pink “Rocking Chick.”

The line also includes eye shadows and mascaras, and they wouldn’t at all be complete without Barbie’s trademark logo on each casing.

We all know that M.A.C makes one of the smoothest, silkiest, lipstickiest (huh?) lipstick of them all. Really awesome quality, and worth the extra few bucks. And with a little help this spring from Barbie, how can a girl go wrong?

Purchase your own “Barbie Loves M.A.C Lipstick”

Or, you know, from your friendly auctioneers at Ebay.