Before I delve into how much oral activity went on last night (on the show of course), the beginning of Nip/Tuck was utterly horrifying. Dr. MacNamara’s new leading lady sh*t herself in his hot tub and was from that point referred to as “the sh*tter.”

Is it just me or does this girl seem way too unworthy of dating such a hot doctor? I don’t care that she used to be fat. I don’t mind that she has some intimacy issues. What bothers me is that her personality sucks. What does he see in her? Especially now that she’s literally sh*t all over him. Uh, so gross. I did however find all of the poop talk hilarious.

My prediction is that MacNamara dumps her and gets it on with Eden, lesbian Olivia’s overly sexual daughter, who’s hair is out of control. And side note: Is this chick for real? I mean what is she? A teen dominatrix? You’d think she were a tease, but I’m seriously doubt it.

Now on to the oral. GOOD LORD, what a variety. First we have the sh*tter giving Dr. Mac a BJ. Then we have Olivia going down on Julia. And last, but I’m sure not least, Kimber and Matt giving us a full on oral sex show after they smoked crack. And while we’re on the subject of these two, I was like “WHAT?!” when I watched this scene.

Their poor baby.

Above all, I think one of the highlights of the episode was when Julia slept with Christian. I know I was probably as shocked as him when she flat out said she did him to be done with him. Dude, you. Got. Served.

Now that the whole MacNamara/Troy family is back together again, we are all in for some crazy ass drama. God, I love this show.

a) a crazy, graphic display of plastic surgery

b) kinky sex

c) Dr. Troy being a creepy and naked

d) Dr. Troy having kinky sex, and of course

e) that one moment in the show where I’m like, “holy sh%$ that is messed up!”

But last night’s episode caught me totally off guard when it became quite obvious that Julia, MacNamara’s ex wife, was playing for “the other team.” Huh? And with the hot and beautiful girlfriend of Ellen Degeneres, Portia de Rossi, no less! I seriously never saw this one coming. I mean, think about it: Julia had been married to a hot plastic surgeon for years, she’s a mom and she’s even sexed it up kinky style with Troy a few times. Is this not hetero behavior?

Yet when Julia went to LA to introduce/explain her current lady love affair to the boys, she didn’t come out and say, yeah I’ve been into chicks all of this time. She explained to MacNamara that it was all about the “connection” and the fact that the communication and sex were easier.

Hmmm … First I thought, how in god’s name is the sex easier? But then, I began to wonder, is sexual preference really about the connection? Can the actual person, despite gender really be what seals the deal?

I believe that there’s a something I’d like to call a “sexual spectrum.” Some people take the status quo – “I’m a girl so obviously I like boys” ; some go full fledged homosexual – “I knew I was ‘different’ when I developed a crush on Sally in middle school” ; and some just sit in that gray area – “I’m into guys, but I like kissing girls.” You can’t really pigeon hole those in-betweeners because they swing both ways, and well, that just makes a lot of us uncomfortable. We all fall into one of these areas and I think where we are (or where we’ve been) really depends on how open we are to experience the taboo. Because yes, there was that one night in college …

It’s safe to say that Julia falls into the latter of the categories. We’ll just have to wait and see if she continues on with her lady friend with others following (despite her obvious future rendez-vous with Troy as blatantly displayed in the previews for the next episode) or if she eventually chalks it all up to some “phase.”