I’m so over Brad and Angie.

What?! I know. Am I a horrible spawn of Satan? Some kind of weird robot without the capacity to love? Maybe a Russian spy…

Or maybe, just maybe, I have the good sense to call it like I see it. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are over-exposed. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are humans who have fabulous, expensive publicists to make them sound like badass, ordaned angels. They’re adopting a lot of kids really fast — but they have fabulous, expensive nannies to help them every waking moment of the day. Their acting abilities waver from pretty good (Girl, Interrupted and Fight Club) to snore-inducing unbelievable (Taking Lives and Troy). And lastly…no one in the media has any balls when it comes time to interview them.

Look, together, they’re doing a LOT of good for this planet. I’m not arguing that. But loads of people do a lot of good for this planet, and you don’t hear about the kids of those people becoming honorary citizens of Nice, France before they’re even born yet, do you?

Angie and Brad are perfect — or at least that’s how they’ve been drawn up in the last couple of years. But knowing what I know of the human race, I’ll be the first one to say that false idolization does nothing except make us feel like losers for not having everything together all of the time. It would do us some good to stop this weird obsession with Hollywood’s newest manufactured power couple. Why is their doctor giving a press conferences? Aren’t press conferences special events that alert the world about something newsworthy? Why is giving birth in a posh hospital newsworthy?

So yeah, I’m over their over-exposure. I’m done with letting the media spoon-feed me the idea that this duo is anything more than two very, very lucky people who are probably pretty cool but also rife with their own imperfections.

Now that I’ve gotten all this out, I think I’m realizing that the annoyance I’m feeling is not so much aimed at these two millionaires with money to burn — but at my society for being so completely obsessed with everything they do.

Brad and Angie are no better than you or me, people. They just have the money, make-up, publicists, nannies, attention, and power to make it seem that way.

First, he complains about getting old, fat, wrinkly and ugly and then he’s on the cover of a magazine looking like this.

Ya, okay Brad. You’re totally hideous. You’re so gross-looking I could just…..I could just viciously make out with you.

As we speak, Brad is cuddling up with that whatshername gf of his somewhere in NYC and the two of them are just being all beastly together after some crazy stalker fan “launched herself” at him on a red carpet recently. Who’d wanna, like, touch that guy? Yuck. AND he’s also been talking recently about having yet another kid with whatshername, so now the disgusting couple can add another ass-ugly baby to the family.

Just what we need, more of Brad Pitt’s tainted unattractiveness.

BTW, totally kidding. Not about the making out part, but everything else.

See Brad Pitt pics after the jump.

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