In case you haven’t heard, Janet Jackson is in the hospital (or at least was there this morning) and no one is really saying why.  Did she break her leg?  Randomly get Malaria?  Perhaps a little too much partying the night before with her guy Jermaine Dupre (who ended up totally projectiling into her lap)?

Our guess is that someone finally told her those space suits she’s been wearing onstage are, in actuality, completely f*cking ugly.