[Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!

Leave your own overheard convos in the comments.]

“It’s late. It’s dangerously late. I’d better set my clock for omelettes.”

“Oh my God! The Japanese Dragon! It… it escaped from the Chinese New Year’s Parade!”

“When will you be there?”

“Why do you care?”

“So I can hang out with you – my friend. Because I’ve got friends. Unlike you.”

“That kitten’s got a beard. He doesn’t see anything wrong with it. He thinks it’s just dandy, that poor little guy.”

You can’t be too hung over. You need to wake up and have no motivation. When having no motivation is actively painful, then you got a problem.

The best way to experience Groundhog Day is via video – you know, you really get that one crowning moment of groundhog perfection.

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