Got some college questions? Unsure of a decision? Not sure how to balance school and fun? Just wanna chat it up with some really awesome chics?

Question:
I’m leaving for college in like 4 weeks and I’m so excited. (But that might be because my summer job is so boring haha.) I am living in a single next year and I couldn’t be happier. I didn’t want to live with someone random and my friends aren’t going to school with me so I went with a single instead.  Now that school is getting closer I’m getting worried that might have been a bad idea. Without a roommate how will I meet people? Was a single a bad idea? Not that I can change it….. Do you have any advice for meeting people?

Busy Bee:
First off, getting a single was not a bad idea. You will meet tons of people on your floor, through classes, and my favorite…by joining clubs! I can’t stress this enough. People are always concerned about having friends, but what they often forget is that 1) You will always be your own best friend, and 2) You gotta put yourself out there to have friends. One of my life philosophies is that what you put out into the world, you will receive back. If you want friends, then be charismatic. That’s all it takes – people are attracted to positive energy. Anyway, you’ll be fine – just don’t be shy. Start by friending someone who does have a roommate. That way, you’ll have automatic invite whenever a group of people go out. Just put yourself out there and most importantly, HAVE FUN!

Party Girl:
I’m not going to lie to you, having roommates definitely makes the meet-and-greet first weeks of college a lot easier.  The good news is that your social life doesn’t necessarily have to suffer because of your solitary status. You just gotta get creative.  Go out of your way to get to know the other students on your hall.  Go door to door and introduce yourself, keep the door open, play a little music, and don’t be afraid to hang your head in someone’s room if you see their door is open, too.  Also, everyone loves a party (and sharing some illegally procured beers bonds people together like nothing else can), so have a little pre-game in your room before heading out to those Welcome Week frat parties, then have them back in your room for some late night pizza when you stumble home. Whatever you do, do not shut that door (unless you’re changing….or getting busy); the more available you make yourself, the more friends you’ll make.

GPA Girl:
Girl, trust me, this is not a problem at all. You are going to be sooooo happy you have a single once the school year gets started and you want to throw parties in your room or take guys back to your digs. Plus, you can throw your stuff anywhere anytime you want and no one will yell at you, and you can listen to your own music all day long, have total silence when you need it… can you tell I live by myself?! OK, but seriously. First of all, you can definitely and easily meet new people without having a roommate. In most cases, your roomie’s new friends don’t end up being your new friends anyway. Second, potential new friends almost drop into your lap at college. Go to student orientation, go to new activity sign-ups, join intramural sports teams, try to attend club meetings that interest you, go to study groups, etc. Basically, get out there. If you’re willing to smile and say “Hi” to people you see, you’ll have bucketloads of friends before you know it. After all, everybody is in the same boat as you and is also trying to navigate their own college experience, so it’s helpful to have shipmates along for the ride! OK, that’s enough metaphors for one day. Good luck!

Got some college questions? Unsure of a decision? Worried about rooming blind this Fall? Just wanna chat it up with some really awesome chics?

Question:
Next month will be my second year at my new college. This past semester I didn’t do anything fun. I was miserable and studied the whole time. I came out with a 3.8 but no new friends. How can I balance schoolwork and get out and meet people at the same time?

GPA Girl:
Story of my life . . . haha, no, just kidding. Well, sort of. I also studied almost all the time, but so did my friends, so I think it evened out. You are perceptive to realize that you need to strike a balance between your social life and your academics, and it’s wonderful that you place both things as such high priorities right now. Friends and relationships from college are just as valuable (and often more valuable) than the grades you get there, so I wouldn’t want to see you miserable but acing every test for another semester. Have you considered signing up for some clubs, activities, or intramural teams? Busy Bee might have more to say about that. Don’t go overboard and start attending every single thing on campus, but going to events that feature your hobbies is a surefire way to meet new people who share the same interests. If you can manage to get on the e-mail lists for a bunch of different campus activities, you can pick and choose those that fit with your schedule and start meeting people that way. Also, it’s totally possible to meet new friends and study at the same time. Ask interesting people from your courses to form a study group, or ask your current friends to study with you on a standing weekly date and bring their friends along as well. Go out for dinner or coffee beforehand and chat with the new people who come along. Good luck!

Party Girl:
Believe it or not, I was once in the same position as you are now. However, as you can see, I got through it (with flying colors, if I do say so myself). The trick is time management. Since my dorky days, I’ve become an excellent planner. In fact, I always have a planner with me. Seriously – that thing has saved my life (well, my social life) on more than one occassion. I decided that studying couldn’t dominate my life anymore, so I made out a strict schedule of classes, study times, and “break” times. I kept everything separate from each other (no drinking while studying and certainly no studying at the bar) and after a while, it became second nature. Of course, there were a couple times where I had to give up a sweet-ass party to cram for an exam (and times when I blew off a night class to catch Happy Hour). There’s always gonna be some give and take during college (despite my prayers, there’s no way you can get a 4.0 and binge drink every weekend). Hopefully, it won’t be all give this year for you!

Busy Bee:
Girl, I know EXACTLY how you feel. Sometimes we are so caught up trying to get amazing grades and beefing up that resume that we often forget about our social lives. I don’t know what your college is like, but at my school, it’s hard to make friends because people are always bustling in and out of class. In addition, I didn’t live on campus my first year of college so I missed out on the late nights and campus diner experiences. If you are living on campus next year, try getting to know your floor mates well. Also, make it a goal to befriend at LEAST one person in each class. That way, even if you don’t become BFF’s with them, it’ll be nice to have someone cover notes for you on days you want to sleep in. Plus, studies say that more friends mean better grades!

To answer your question, the best way to balance school work and friends is to understand time management. Know your capabilities – how much work can you do before you burn out? How much time can you allot for friends before you start stressing about unfinished school work? If you know your limits, then you can successfully study and party.
Lastly, understand that not everyone you meet will become your best friend. There are some interesting characters you will meet in college. Whether or not you make “friends” is not the big deal – just focus on getting yourself out there, meeting people, and knowing which hang-outs are worth your time.

Oh…and sometimes “fun” doesn’t have to mean hanging out with people. Sometimes, it’s allowing yourself shopping days, exploring the city, or finding a hobby that you absolutely enjoy. Just make sure you plan ahead and give yourself a much needed break sometimes!

Even for the biggest social butterflies, there is always going to be some slight apprehension when faced with the prospect of making a completely new set of buddies, leaving the comfort zone of the high school social circle.

Typically, the transition for most students is from a smaller high school to an often much larger college. This leaves an opportunity to meet people, but don’t rely solely on “mass-friending” people in your incoming class on Facebook to start connecting with others (that leaves for the always slightly awkward meeting which is guided by a mutual search for the person who matches the default profile picture). Also, don’t rely solely on meeting new people on your floor of the dorm where you are living, either. Just because you live in the same general area, there is definitely no guarantee that you’ll share common interests or have agreeing personalities.

Here are a few ideas to get connected with other students on campus, and hopefully make some new friends:

Join a special interest or volunteer club.

Are you into scrapbooking, animal rights, or “green” initiatives? There are so many clubs dedicated to everything (from Salsa dancing to barbequing) that finding one that captures a passion or hobby is usually fairly easy, and if not, you can request to create a new club! By connecting with others that have similar interests and passions, you create an instant common ground. Also, many college campuses have clubs dedicated to those who share the same cultural heritage or religious background.

Try out for a club/intermural sport.

Whether you are very athletic or not coordinated in the least, trying a new sport (e.g. golf, ultimate Frisbee, judo, triathalon, Guitar Hero training… seriously) that sounds interesting and fun to you is a great way to build friendships and get into shape! Many club sports welcome inexperienced members, and will often have trainers, uniforms, and other benefits available to you without having to pay hefty dues. Plus, if you get good, you might place and be able to compete in a larger competition. It’s a great way to build some team spirit.

Audition for or join a performing arts group.

If acting, singing, playing an instrument or dancing is of interest to you, I highly encourage getting involved in the performing arts on campus. Like the sports, performing arts groups are like teams, bringing people close together, whether they are rehearsing for a musical, practicing together for a showcase, or even preparing for a gig at the student union. Though I am a finance and marketing major, I auditioned and made it into the top chorale group at my university. We performed in amazing places and even got to go on an all-expenses paid trip to Ecuador, where we went to and performed in workshops, met international students, and toured volcanoes and other gorgeous landscapes.

Go Greek or join a major academic or professional organization.

Even if you feel that Greek life is “all Greek to you” (haha, yeah…), definitely check out Greek life, as well as the other major academic and professional organizations on campus (which may or may not have Greek letters, as well). While the social Greek scene was not for me, I joined a professional business fraternity (co-ed, yay!) that focused on building business skills and networking, while also promoting a sense of brotherhood and connection between the members. While rushing/pledging a major organization may seem daunting, if you are dedicated, the entire experience is worth it, and you make great friendships along the way.

Take a class that you are interested in, even if it is not in your major.

Elective classes (and even classes in general that you enjoy) are a good way to meet people, especially if they are discussion-based. Sharing opinions, working together, and studying together are always a surefire way to bond.

College is the best time to try new things and meet new friends. So get involved (especially if you are commuting)! I promise you will not regret it.