When you went off to college, chances are you didn’t live a block away from Mom and Dad. Even in cases where the trip home was do-able on weekends, rarely did family fun time rank higher than a Sigma Chi mixer. Sure, you made sporadic phone calls to the people who gave you life, and they were always your family, but it didn’t take long to realize you needed a family on campus, too. Roommates, hallmates, your pledge class, a study group (see: Community)…these became the people who held your hair back when you puked in the street, who crawled in your bed to watch tv marathons, who knew your favorite pregame songs and would always let you borrow their notes when you slept through class.

Graduation threw you all into a whirlwind of separation anxiety, with promises to call and visit and text and Skype and… Yeah, that didn’t really happen as planned.

Living on your own in the real world (“real world”), you won’t find pledge classes or study groups. Your roommate will be someone you found on Craigslist. Your hallmates will be invisible, except for the 87 year-old woman who owns six cats and listens to Wheel of Fortune on blast. At 5 am. Family, of the non-blood variety, is hard to come by. Nights eating mediocre take out alone on Ikea furniture while Netlfix plays in the background becomes the new norm. (Sorry to go all graphic, Bridget Jones-style on you there.) Just when you think you can’t possibly take it anymore, a funny thing happens. Read More »

Got some college questions? Unsure of a decision? Not sure how to balance school and fun? Just wanna chat it up with some really awesome chics? We’ve got the girls for you. Hit them up in the comments or shoot them an email with the subject “College Q&A”! They’ve got all the answers you need, no matter who you are.

Question:
I’m leaving for college in like 4 weeks and I’m so excited. (But that might be because my summer job is so boring haha.) I am living in a single next year and I couldn’t be happier. I didn’t want to live with someone random and my friends aren’t going to school with me so I went with a single instead.  Now that school is getting closer I’m getting worried that might have been a bad idea. Without a roommate how will I meet people? Was a single a bad idea? Not that I can change it….. Do you have any advice for meeting people?

Busy Bee:
First off, getting a single was not a bad idea. You will meet tons of people on your floor, through classes, and my favorite…by joining clubs! I can’t stress this enough. People are always concerned about having friends, but what they often forget is that 1) You will always be your own best friend, and 2) You gotta put yourself out there to have friends. One of my life philosophies is that what you put out into the world, you will receive back. If you want friends, then be charismatic. That’s all it takes – people are attracted to positive energy. Anyway, you’ll be fine – just don’t be shy. Start by friending someone who does have a roommate. That way, you’ll have automatic invite whenever a group of people go out. Just put yourself out there and most importantly, HAVE FUN! Read More »

In elementary school, I made friends in the sandbox – sharing my buckets and shovels. In middle school, I made friends by being that new girl from California living in a small Georgia town. In high school, I made friends by joining the newspaper and writing about my misfortunes of high school dating in an all-too honest column. In college, I made friends and bonded with them over two hour road-trips, Britney Spears’ Greatest Hits, and gas station food. Looking back, the whole process of making friends has always seemed easy, but now what?

I’m out of college, on the opposite side of the country, living with my dad who thinks he is starring in his own comedy sitcom, and completely alone. Those closest to me are elsewhere. My boyfriend is on the opposite coast. My best friend is in the middle of Atlanta. My dearest, bestie ever is living in South Africa! My college friends are strewn across the USA. And here I am, writing about how to make friends at 22 years of age without an inkling of what to do.

In all honesty, I’m actually surprised with the sudden need to make friends. Going into my senior year of college, the girls I thought were my friends for life broke up with me. The friend break-up was a major wake-up call! Although it ended up being one of the best things that happened to me, and I was really lucky to get out of that situation, I will admit – it made me very cautious and guarded about people and their intentions. During senior year, the word “friendship” was completely out of my vocabulary. Read More »

When I first started this internship in December, there were only a handful of other girls with me. We spent most of our days interning together gossiping quietly behind our computer screens, venting angrily about the ridiculous tasks we were asked to do, and showing each other funny YouTube clips to pass the time. For the entire spring semester, we bonded in a way only unpaid jobless college graduates can: we shared tips on how to get jobs and which websites had the best job postings, we discussed the different interviews we had gone on, and made fun of the other editors in the room with us. We became Facebook friends and followed each other on Twitter, and eventually, we started going out for dinner and drinks throughout Manhattan.

And at the end of the semester, when their internships had come to an end and I was the only one left at the magazine, I came to the sad realization that it was time to make new intern friends.

For a little while, I was one of the only interns at the magazine. I missed my friends from before – there wasn’t anyone to go on 5 o’clock coffee runs with – but while I couldn’t wait for the other interns to start, a part of me liked having all the responsibility. The summer interns started to slowly trickle in at the end of May, until suddenly one day I walked in and they were everywhere. Read More »

You got a question? Tuffy’s got an answer. TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com. Nuff said.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

College has been really complicated for me. It started out in my freshman year when I didn’t like the dorm where I lived (it was gross and I didn’t fit in anyway). The first semester a friend of mine from high school died. Soon after I realized that one of my closest friends from high school was toxic and when I decided to cut her out of my life. I lost touch with so many of the people I loved most. It was a really bad time to isolate myself because I really could have used the support. Looking back I do see how they really were crappy friends and it was for the best. Everything was a mess. I was supposed to meet amazing new people and have exciting adventures. Nothing was going how I imagined. By the end of my sophomore year things were looking up and I had made a small group of fantastic new friends, but I decided to transfer to another school. I just wanted to leave everything in the past and move on.

My new school is at the beach and I love it! It’s amazing! I just finished my junior year and although it’s so great to be here and have this fresh start, I’m still having trouble moving on. I keep applying my past experiences to my current situation. Every time I start to get close with a new person I get really freaked out. I either freeze and can’t think of anything to say or I start avoiding them and make up excuses for not being able to hang out. I’ve become a total flake. It’s like I can’t handle any level of commitment. I don’t want to let anyone get close to me because I feel like it couldn’t possibly end well or be a positive thing. I even ran away from the circle of friends from my sophomore year… and they didn’t even do anything.

Ever since I broke away from my life in high school I just can’t take the plunge again. I’m not even mad at the situations that got me here, I’m mad at myself because I can’t fix me so I’m back to normal. I even keep the few people that I have managed to remain close with at arm’s length. Sometimes when they try to be helpful and talk to me about it I feel the disapproval and judgment and it just makes me want to pull back even more. And that is so incredibly difficult when I’m sincerely trying to move forward and feel better about trusting and letting people get close to me again.

I just don’t know what to do because I feel like I’m missing out on the essential college experiences. I’m graduating next year and I don’t want to look back and wish that I had gotten my sh*t together in time to enjoy college. I just want to be normal and carefree and fun like I used to. Besides aren’t men supposed to be the ones with commitment issues?  What would you do?

-Commitment-phobic Read More »

Got some college questions? Unsure of a decision? Need to pad that resume? Just wanna chat it up with some really awesome chics? We’ve got the girls for you. Hit them up in the comments or shoot them an email with the subject “College Q&A”!

Question:
I don’t like drinking but I feel like that’s all there ever is to do in my college town on the weekends. What are people supposed to do in college who don’t like to get wasted every night? And how are we supposed to find friends when all they ever do is go out and get drunk?

GPA Girl:

Wow, do I ever feel your pain. In my experience, there are lots of us non-drinkers out there, especially at the beginning of undergrad, but as time goes on, it becomes harder and harder to find people who want to do things other than get trashed. Not to mention that people who don’t like to drink are usually introverted, so it can be harder to find them and befriend them in the first place. Sigh. The deck is stacked against you, girl. But here is some good news: I managed to find amazing, incredible, awesome friends in college even though I didn’t drink a drop. Most of my friends did drink occasionally, but they shared my lack of interest in getting blasted at large parties every weekend.  Read More »

College. Sigh. It’s unlike any other time in your life. It has its own set of rules, its own unique circumstances. And it’s not always easy to navigate. Everyone needs a little guidance now and then (or always) so we’ve pulled together a variety of perspectives (the does-it-all girl, the party girl and Ms. Study Lounge) to weigh in on your life conundrums and give you the best advice we can.

Every week they’ll be tackling your questions about college. From classes to keggers to keggers before classes, they’ll do their best to respond and be your Pez dispenser of collegiate wisdom. Got questions? Unsure of a decision? Need to save some dough? Just wanna chat it up with some really awesome chics?

Hit them up in the comments or shoot them an email with the subject “College Q&A”!

Question:
I’m just about to transfer to a much larger school for the spring semester, after commuting to school for two and a half years (I’m a junior now) and I’m REALLY scared about making friends. I’ve always had some difficulty with making them, since I’m pretty shy and socially awkward. Having friends isn’t impossible, but now that I’m going away to a huge school of 44,000 students, it’s a bit intimidating. Do you have any advice on making new friends mid-year? I’m sorta freaking out. Read More »

When you are in college it’s almost as if you have to try not to make friends. You are constantly surrounded by people and put into situations (group projects, student groups, beer pong tournaments) where forming new friendships is as easy as finding Milwaukee’s Best at a frat party; get their name, work with them a bit, then go home and Facebook them later.

Unfortunately, the same can’t be said for life in the real world.

Not only are you no longer on a campus surrounded by 400-5,000 people just like you, but the situations that present themselves in college aren’t available after you graduate. At least not as easily. And, no, it’s not going to be like Friends where you live in some giant and totally cool apartment and have hot, funny, and really awesome dudes living across the hall. Not even close.

You can’t walk up to some random girl at the bar and ask for her number (really, really creepy), so how the hell do you make new friends!?

Well, first, you need to realize things won’t come as easily and be ready to put in a little work. Once you’ve mentally prepared, it’s time to put forth some effort: Read More »

As the semester comes to an end, I  can’t help but stress about the upcoming fall semester. In a few short weeks, I will be graduating from my two year community college with an associates degree and, come September, I will be walking onto unfamiliar territory at my new university.

Of course I am excited that I will no longer have to wake up 2 hours before my class to get onto 2 over-crowded and always-late buses to get to school. I will finally get to move out of my parents house and have what most people call the “real college experience.” I will, at last,  get to prove to my parents that I can survive away from home.

However, I can’t help but be consumed by thoughts about various things relating to this upcoming experience.

First, there’s the whole roommate situation. I’ve never lived out of my house, let alone in a small room with a stranger. Thankfully, my friend who is transferring to the same uni as I has agreed to be my roommate. But I’m still a little nervous. I’m not used to sharing my space with anyone and I’ve heard that it is unwise to be roomies with your friends, as you may end up hating each other in the end. Will I end up calling my mom in tears after a giant fight with her over using up the milk? Read More »

I have been in college for almost a month, and so far my biggest problem is something I’ve done quite easily — making friends.

During Orientation, people began to cling together because, in truth, all of us were friendless. So my group of friends developed depending on with whom I ate lunch one day, who also got lost trying to return to my dorm after a party, or who was sitting next to me at one of the many assemblies. I am not complaining about my friends — they are all genuinely nice people – but I wonder: if we had gone to school from pre-K to twelfth grade, would they even give me a second glace? Would I give them?

I feel like making these friends so hastily isn’t really making any true connections. Maybe this is because I’ve never moved away, and so have known all my high school friends for years. I know them inside and out, and I am really grateful for them. Now I have plenty more people programmed into my cell phone than I did in last fall. I can call over ten girls to go eat lunch, or procrastinate by watching a movie. I can say hello to at least five friends every time I walk somewhere.

But what kind of claim is that, when I don’t know anything about them other than the generic five questions I have asked and been asked for the last few weeks. 1) What’s your name? 2) What dorm do you live in? 3) What are you interested in studying? 4) Where are you from? 5) Do you want to exchange cell phone numbers?

There is no number 6: What is it about you that would make us good friends? Read More »