It’s Saturday morning and you’ve just woken up from your usual Friday night routine; hung-over, regretful, half your makeup on your pillow, the other half on your cheek. Your roomie bursts into your room, camera in hand and tells you, “You have to see the pictures from last night, things got pretty crazy!” In a daze you agree. As you peruse the photos, one passes where your face is squished up against a random dude’s, sweat beads cover your upper lip and your teeth are purple from too much vodka cranberry. Oh dear God, that’s the guy! (Screw the fact that you look like a hot mess). You quickly hide your head under the covers and shout to your roommate, “That’s him! That’s who I hooked up with!”

So what exactly is your definition of hooking up? Could it mean a little bumpin’ and grindin’ followed by a sloppy make-out sesh? Does it mean crawling into a cab with a guy, knowing good and well that you’re going to “get your kicks” (thanks Rizzo from Grease for that one) later that night? Or does it mean bypassing first and getting right to second base?

Since I was given this topic of discussion, I’ve had numerous conversations with friends and one in my Human Sexuality class about how to properly define hooking up. While my friends (guys and girls) define hooking up as anything from kissing to sex, my professor seemed to think hooking up can only mean one thing: doin’ it. Read More »

Without a doubt, one of the best ways to improve the quality of your sex life is engaging in foreplay. A lot of sex advice articles focus on the fact that many women need foreplay in order to orgasm, which I think is kind of a restrictive and pressure-fueled way to approach it.

Foreplay doesn’t necessarily have to be a means to an end – what it aims to do is get you and your partner in a sexually charged mood, which in and of itself is incredibly enjoyable. There are so many ways to integrate foreplay into your sexy times. Some of my favorites include:

Sexting.
I know there are tons of horror stories of sexting gone terribly awry – private texts/photos being spread around without your consent, accidentally sexting your parents/exes/bosses, the fact that 12-year-olds engage in it…sexting has cultivated a grotesque reputation, to say the least. But as long as you have a trustworthy partner (and you double-check the recipient box on your phone), sexting is an awesome way to create intimacy and arousal, especially if you plan on getting it on later in the day. Talk about things you can’t wait to do with/to your partner, describe fantasies, even send nudies if you are so inclined (without your face, always).

Making out.
Sometimes it seems like once you’re sexually active, the only thing on the menu is sex. But there is something to be said about some old-school kissing/groping, including putting up the same boundaries you used to (like no crotch contact…at least temporarily). It mentally takes you back to those days when hooking up filled you with butterflies and anticipation of where it lead, which is undeniably hot. Read More »

This is supposed to represent me thinking about sex, K?

Sexual activity is anything but black and white. Hooking up, making out, and fooling around all mean different things to different people; I told my mom when I was about 15 that I had been making out with a boy, and had to spend the following 20 minutes explaining to her that making out was just French kissing. Apparently back in her day “making out” meant having sex — which is certainly different than my innocent round of tonsil hockey.

After that, I figured out pretty quickly that sex isn’t always as easy as doing it or not doing it. Regardless of my ill-humored post about when it actually counts, I have a legitimate question for you lovely readers — what is sex, anyways?

I spend a lot of time writing about sex, and as a mostly-heterosexual ciswoman, when I talk about sex I’m usually referring penis-in-vagina intercourse — but I’ve come to realize lately how cis-centric and heteronormative that is, so I’m now on a quest for an alternative definition.

It’s easy enough to say that sex is intercourse, but what about same-sex couples? Or those that would prefer to avoid vaginal intercourse? Is a person who has had anal sex with a plethora of partners still a virgin? What about oral sex? What is it, exactly, if you’re masturbating together? Surely that can’t be sex, can it?

There is so much grey area when it comes to sex that it’s hard to define what’s what. Perhaps we need to focus on the feelings that come along with the action rather than the action itself — but then what can be said about one night stands?

I don’t have any take-home lesson or awesome list for you this week, just a bunch of honest-to-goodness curiosity and a desire to start a conversation. We need to redefine our idea of sex, and what it is that makes it sex in the first place.

So, folks, let’s get this party started — what is sex? And how do you know?

Whether you’re just waking up to the realization that it’s Christmas Eve morning or getting ready to jump in the car with your mother, father, brother, two sisters, and the family dog to head off to dinner, there’s no escaping it: Christmas is upon us!

Here at CollegeCandy we’ve been all about spreading the love, joy, and general merriment of the holiday season this week.  We gave you gift guides, survival lists, and countless Hollywood scandals to talk about.  But in case you missed anything while you were out hunting for a parking spot at the mall, here’s a run down of what you should be reading…

-Welcome winter!  Here’re 10 Things We Love about Y.O.U.

-Home for a week and already bored?  We’ve gotcha covered.

-And in case you’re one of those ambitious types, 6 TV shows you should definitely watch this break.  Break out Netflix and a giant bag of popcorn!  Dawson’s Creek, anybody?

-Is Mom asking you why you haven’t found a boyfriend yet…on your Facebook wall?  Avoid arguments while you’re home by laying down these social networking ground rules for parents.

Read More »

In a college world where (shocker!) people drink and hook-up on a regular basis, it’s always a lovely gift in disguise to have a wingwoman by your side who supports you, sets you up for success, and is your personal cheerleader.

In high school, your wingwoman would accompany you to the bathroom during lunch, share the other half of cheesy bread with you, and wait by your locker when your boyfriend left early for the skate park.

In Hollywood, a wing woman is there to support her celebrity counterparts after a whirlwind of relationship blunders and public break ups.  (Look at Team Cox-Aniston for example.  I can see their wingwoman relationship sprouting from the rich dirt of Hollywood and making headlines already.  Thanks to the fresh divorce of Cox and Arquette. Friends fans rejoice!)

In college, your wingwoman plays a much more integral role. She’s an important element to your development as a young woman so you can get all of that partying and sexing out of your system.

Here’s how a perfect wingwoman is built in college world: Read More »

Ever since I flipped through the many college brochures in high school, I had my own college fantasy.  I saw frat boys making out with sorority girls under a sycamore tree in the quad a Sports Illustrated swimsuit poster while double-fisting a Coors, ‘Van Wilder’ playing in the background. It’s a strange college ideal, but let’s face it: in college, hooking up comes as natural as canning two Red Bull 30 minutes deep into a study session. What do you expect from a slew of horny, freshly-free kids placed in a small colony of dorm rooms?  From the very first night of college the constant pressure to hook up with people looms like the haze of a drunk-buzz. And it’s the norm.

Random hook ups are not only not shunned in college, they’re expected. College is a get-by-free pass for having fun and making out.

I’m not saying everyone hooks up in college, but for the majority of the student body, hooking up is a given.  Meeting new prospective hook-ups you’ll most likely regret in the morning and dish with your roomies is as expected as walking into the library and walking out with a book. It’s free and returnable.

Under most circumstances, girls will say hooking up is fun and carefree.  After a few beers, there is nothing wrong with making out and fooling around with a cute college boy that has a baby-face and likes to dance with you next to the beer pong table.  And hooking up doesn’t have to involve drinking either.  We’re all familiar with the term ‘booty-call.’  Simple attraction and a life sans parental units can ignite hook-ups and the ‘no strings attached’ attitude.  That’s why hooking up is fun!  You never have to worry about meeting families, what his favorite baseball team is, or if you should text him or call him the next day. Read More »

Question for La Tuff?! Email her at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com and perhaps get it answered. Dig?!

Dearest Tuffy Luv,

My friends and I are noticing a growing trend among the men in our group. They have no balls. And what I mean by that is they don’t take initiative. They sit around like a bunch of Golden Girls and bitch over every girl problem they have (some of these problems having to do with us) but they never solve the problem. It takes them two weeks to muster up courage to kiss a girl and then they believe it’s true love, whereas we will make out with them one night and consider it a one time thing.

Are we just being too mean to guys or are guys being to wimpy??

Sincerely,
Women with balls Read More »

Question for Tuffy?! Email her at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com and leave a message at the BEEEEEEP.

Tuffy Question: Hey, where all the lesbians at?! How come I never hear from you girls?!

Dear Tuffy Luv,
I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and we are just crazy about each other, but we are still virgins.  We were originally saving our virginity for religious/moral reasons, but we both changed our minds on that and want to have intercourse now.  However, we each live in our parents’ homes and his family is super-religious.  And if someone finds out, both of us will be in deep trouble.  Apart from simply waiting, what can we do?

–All revved up with nowhere to go

Dear Revved,

What can you do?! Why, many a thing, young lass! Let’s see–

But first, let lil’ ol’ Tuffy just lil’ ol’ say: ALWAYS USE CONDOMS. In EVERY situation. In ANY genital exchange, with ANY gender. Okay?! CONDOMS. CONDOMS CONDOMS CONDOMS.

Okay, that said, first, I want to say that I am writing this advice to you, girl, assuming that you are of consenting age. Okay? Please, young ‘uns, wait till you’re ready. You should never feel pressure to have sex before YOU are ready to do it. No one tells you what to do with your body–you are your own and only your own.

So, now the fun! Things you can do: Read More »

Question for La Tuff?! Email your questions to AskTuffyLuv@collegecandy.com and get an answerino.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I’ve known this guy C for a little over a year now. He used to live across the hall from me – we were study buddies, and we hung out a couple of times. All my friends thought he liked me but he never asked me out or anything. Over the summer, one of my close friends interned with him, so I know what he was doing and he knows everything that happened to me. But we only talked, like, a couple of times over the phone.

Even though this semester we live in different areas, we still have one class together and we’ve been seeing each other over the weekends… and we made out multiple times. I haven’t told any of my girlfriends yet, because they would just tease us nonstop. One thing made me nervous is that he only comes to see me on weekends after he is slightly drunk. I don’t know if I should ask him where he thinks we are going or not. I don’t want to sound desperate, but I really don’t think this is a healthy relationship. Do you think he just wants to be FWB? What should I do?

Thanks.
Juli Read More »

We all know that in the world of college nightlife, pretty much anything goes. People drink until they pass out, wake up with penis drawn across their forehead and spend the next day puking their guts out while they plan an alternate route to class so they can avoid the guy they played tonsil hockey with all night.

And that’s totally normal.

But believe it or not, there is a line on that sticky, beer soaked carpet underneath all of the red cups and vomit that can indeed be crossed. Don’t be one of the troublesome party patrons who takes it from acceptable (in the college world, of course) to completely wrong and gross and totally unacceptable party behaivor.

Acceptable: Making out in a corner
We all know one of the main reasons anyone even goes to parties is to hook up. It’s expected that at any given point throughout the night there will be someone in some corner getting busy. Lucky them.
Unacceptable: Getting dry-humped against a wall
There is a point where you should excuse yourself and stumble on back to your own twin sized bed. No one wants to dodge hip thrusts to get to the punch bowl garbage can. Read More »