After the post I did about how to successfully approach a man of interest, a few of you mentioned that your biggest concern was having nothing interesting to say. No one wants to walk up to a guy and be a bumbling idiot. It’s a fear that plagues everyone. And actually, it is in that fact that you can find comfort. 95 per cent of people out there are just as nervous to walk up to a stranger. The 3 per cent of the 5 remaining are only pretending to be as confident as they look, so that leaves a whopping 2 per cent of genuinely confident, cool and collected individuals. And those 2 per cent won’t judge  you for being nervous (note: these stats are not scientifically based, but I’m fairly certain they’re accurate based on personal experience). So before you freak yourself out thinking you are about to walk up to a completely confident, self assured, perfect individual–don’t. More than likely they feel just as weird as you and will be thankful you were brave enough to break the ice.

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Tired of waiting around for him to notice you? Despite years of Disney’s social conditioning, it’s time to enter the reality that is the modern dating scene. Prince Phillip doesn’t exist, girls, and you’re not a princess. For all the other areas of society that women are dominating, why should we shy away from approaching a romantic endeavor with a similar gusto? Why don’t we ask him out? Common reasons include: fear of rejection, laziness, society’s insistence that he should chase you. Can we all just relax? He’s not approaching you for the very same reasons: fear of rejection, laziness, the pressure from society’s insistence that he has to pursue you. If I waited on every guy I noticed to approach me, I might as well join a convent.

So how do you do it? In order to really understand how men would like to be approached, I hand selected 15 able gentlemen to question. These are exactly the kinds of guys you want to date: smart, successful, funny and beautiful.  The first thing I wanted to know was, “Do guys want to be approached by women, or is it emasculating?” Every single guy said they are on board if it’s done the right way. Here’s what a few of them had to say:

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Have you ever  seen Alicia Keys’ music video for her song “You Don’t Know My Name?” She pines for super-hot hip hopper Mos Def for weeks because she’s too shy to make a move. When she finally asks him out, they live happily ever after in neo-soul land. I am so her…pre-happy ending. Except I’m too shy to make a move on a guy…ever.

I live for the feeling of having a new crush. It feels like the first day of school – butterflies, jitters and rainbows. The whole nine. My university has plenty of attractive young men, but the most random guys pique my interest. They vary from big, brawny football players or quiet, sensitive artists. My crush, Aiden, is a gorgeous PR major. I’m not using the term “gorgeous” lightly, either…I’m pretty sure he’s done some modeling. He has the most delicate bone structure I’ve ever seen on a man. Seriously. I haven’t seen a face like that in…well…ever. I’ve admired him from a distance since last year. And I’ll probably be keeping myself nine paces away.

Truthfully, I’m too afraid to talk to him. Too afraid of being forward and too afraid of rejection. The last guy I admitted my feelings to told all of his friends and they told their friends…it was a never-ending chain of embarrassment. This time, Aiden could easily be equally attracted to me or even have a secret crush on me…who knows? But taking the chance to find out is scarier than being on “Fear Factor.” Read More »

Lesson 13: Sometimes you have to make the first move.

We’ve heard it before and we’ll probably hear it for the rest of our single lives, but before your palms get sweaty and you start to hyperventilate, grab a drink and just breathe because it’s popular advice for a reason.

Maybe a few years ago women making the first move wasn’t such popular advice, but now with the heavy reliance the dating pool feels toward digital mediums like Facebook and texting, people are less likely to make the first move in person (Ya know? The old fashioned way).

I know! I hate hearing this advice too, but as much as I hate to admit it, it’s effective.

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Boys. What a confusing subject. More confusing than my European History class and Biological Bases of Behavior class combined, and they’re tough enough alone as it is. You think they feel one way and it turns out they feel the exact opposite; sometimes good, other times bad. If they’re were an award on Most Mixed Messages Sent In One Night, boys would definitely take the cake. And the trophy. And then celebrate with a beer bong.

Right now there’s this guy I kind of have a crush on but I have no idea what he’s thinking so I’m not sure what to do. My sorority and his fraternity always have mixers together, and no matter whom our respective dates are we always end up dancing together in the end. At our last function we hooked up and exchanged numbers, but then, thanks to Swine Flu and a class field trip (yeah, we still have those), I couldn’t see him for weeks. We’ve been doin’ a bit of flirxting (that’s text flirting…start using it) but nothing real has happened so far. I know some people think ladies should suck it up and make a move, but I tend to hang out in the guys-always-make-the-first-move corner.

And he’s not making one. Should I?
I’m torn. Read More »