Hey Dude,

I’ve done the Friends With Benefits thing, and, to say the least, I’m not cut out for it.  Now I have this amazing guy in my life who I consider my best friend, but I’m confused over how I’m supposed to know if he likes me as in a relationship sense or if he just wants to sleep with me.

He texts me quite often, even if just to say hi or to see what I’m up to, or make sure I’m feeling better when I’m sick.  We’ve gone out before with mutual friends and had a blast.  We’re both more of homebodies, so he comes over to my place now regularly and we hang out.  We’ve made out, but I end it before it goes any further because I don’t want the Friends With Benefits thing to happen.

So, how do I know?!

Thanks,
Confused Read More »

Men are tricky creatures. As much as we may wish we could read their minds, it just isn’t possible (yet… come on, science!). But don’t worry, I have discovered a trick to help us understand them a little more.

We all know guys that have picked up Cosmo from time-to-time (or have a monthly subscription) to help them figure out what their women are thinking. Hell, I bet a bunch of guys are reading CollegeCandy right now to try and figure something out about their girlfriends. Well ladies, we can do the same thing! Taking a peek at the kind of dating and relationship advice guys are being fed is a great way to get into the mind of a dude and see why he acts the way he does. Every Wednesday I’ll be doing just that. Hopefully, this will explain a few things…

This Week’s Article: “Open Up to Her?” from askmen.com.

A reader writes to Doc Love (really? Doc Love?) because he has been having problems with the woman he has been dating for 21 months. He writes: “Caprice is now saying she doesn’t know if we’re compatible. She still says she loves me and is still touchy with me (so I don’t think it’s just Womanese). One of her specific complaints is that I don’t communicate, and that she doesn’t really know me. In your book you say not to talk too much about yourself and only tell her things that will raise her Interest Level. I shut my mouth and make sure I listen, but if she asks what I think about something and I think my answer will lower Interest Level, I don’t say anything. Should I open up more?”

Doc Love’s first move is to remind the writer that he is always right. He says: “”The System” works all the time on everything. If you missed something in the Dating Dictionary or misinterpreted my techniques, then it’s not a problem with my book; it’s a problem with you. So please don’t say it only works ‘up to a point.’” Wow, way to hit that cocky ball out of the park, Doc Love. You really think you have all the dating answers? There isn’t one single situation in the whole world that the Doc Love “system” might not work for?

I’m really hating this guy already. Read More »

There are few topics in a relationship that cause more controversy than strip clubs. Many of us can’t understand why our man would need to watch some other girl strip it off and shake her ass in his face when he can have our naked ass in his face whenever he wants it (for free, I might add).  And isn’t watching some other girl get naked a form of cheating? He wouldn’t like it if I let some random dude come over and rub his crotch in (or on) my face for $5.

So why do guys do it? And what is the appeal of having some girl rub her boobs on him if he has to stick a few bucks in her panties to do so? I haven’t spent much time in strip clubs, so I turned to someone who does. Frequently. And loves it.

Here is the strip club lowdown from a dude who knows it (very) well. Read More »

We are all about independent women around here, but after one writer asked if independence could be hindering her relationship status, we began to wonder. We know that men have very fragile egos that can be shattered faster than a shot glass in a garbage disposal (those suckers fit perfectly in there!) so it seems to make sense that strong, independent women scare the bejeezus out of them.

Could guys be shying away from us out of fear that we don’t need them?

In order to ease my mind, I thought I would get some answers directly from the source. The good news is: independence isn’t a total turn-off. The bad news: we’re going to have to come up with some better reasons why guys aren’t returning our phone calls. Read More »

[The following post is courtesy of our homegirls over at YourTango. Well, their male perspective. They’ve been through it all and know just about everything about love, so we thought we’d bring their expertise to you. Enjoy!]  

Women, take note: when the appearance of men’s toenails suggest that we are either vying for a Guinness World Record—or preparing for an underground cage fighting match—feel free to mention that they’ve gotten a tad long. We don’t mind.

In fact, shame might be the only way for us to remember to clean ourselves up.

Hygiene is not something we consciously avoid—it’s just one of the many stumbling blocks in life. In fact, we may not even be aware that we’re the guy who everyone thinks smells like wet dog. But if your man is great at shaving and rinsing, you’ll find an off-hand compliment from the woman in his life is often the reason. Read More »

Remember that Sex and the City episode when Miranda meets that guy at a Weight Watchers meeting? They head back to her place and get it on, but when he comes back up from downtown for a little smoochy smoochy, his face looks like it’s been dipped in donut glaze.

Vomit.

It was that episode that first instilled fear in me of kissing after a little downtown action. The whole after-oral makeout sesh grosses. me. out. But I also know many girls who will unleash the fury on their men if they don’t get a little thank you kiss when their (difficult…they don’t call it a job for nothing, right?) work is done.

Where do guys stand on this issue? We asked one… Read More »

Despite what many people say, Valentine’s Day is a lovely little holiday. Sure, we should tell our significant others what we think of them every day, but there is something nice about a day devoted solely to one another, love and romance. A day that is different from every other day on the calendar. A day that is all about doing special little things for one another.But I’m a girl and a lover of all things romantic.

What do guys think of V-Day? Do they love all the mushy romantic stuff, or is it just another unneeded pressure in their lives? Do they like trying to find the perfect gift for their ladies, or are they only doing it to get laid?

And what about the single dudes? How do they feel about this lovey-dovey day?

I turned to my dude-with-all-the-answers to get a guy’s perspective on Valentine’s Day. Read More »

A friend sent me this post last week and asked me what I thought about it. Being a very sarcastic (and witty, if I do say so myself) person, I got scared. And embarassed. An angry. “Yeah, cuz this loser knows what he’s talking about.”

Woops; that was just more unfeminine sarcasm.

I couldn’t stop thinking about the strong opinions the author held and wondered if they were his alone, or if all the men I have ever liked (and not dated) felt the same. Do guys find women who are sarcastic unattractive? Is sarcasm the unibrow of a woman’s personality (hence the photo)? I asked a guy: Read More »

No matter how confident we are, women are always second guessing themselves. Especially in the looks department. And it doesn’t help that men are all, “blah blah – we love sex – blah blah – we’d do it with anyone.”

What does that say about us? What does that say about the way the guy feels about us?

I was really curious to see if guys really can just stick it anywhere, and if they did not care who they were sleeping with as long as they were gettin’ some. I for one could never imagine sleeping with someone whom I was not attracted to (with or without alcohol), but I’m not a guy.

It seems that dudes will stoop to any level to get laid, but is that the case? Read More »

I don’t know about you, but if I never had to take the birth control pill again I would be one happy lady. Remembering to take it every morning, paying for it every month, and all the damn cramps are making me angry.

But what choice do we have, really? Condoms aren’t perfect, abstinence isn’t gonna happen, and I can barely take care of myself, let alone bring a child into my world.

Oh, and guys are always expecting it now! Seriously; I once told my ex that I wasn’t taking the pill and he looked at me like I had just told him I pooped in his shoe. How is that fair?

If only there were a birth control pill for guys. Wouldn’t that be amazing? Let them deal with all the crap we’ve been taking care of for years. Do you think guys would take it? Do you even think they know how good they have it?

Angry (it’s not my fault; my hormones go nuts on this damn pill!) I asked a boy those very questions. His answers surprised me (and made me cry…again, the hormones). Read More »