“We are no longer doing movies with women in the lead” Robinov was quoted as saying this week, using two recent less-than-stellar female driven films (The Brave One, staring Jodie Foster, and The Invasion, starring Nicole Kidman) as evidence for his claims.

What. The. F*ck? Um, what year is this???

Robinov is just convinced the reason neither film did well with audiences is because a woman was in the lead.

Apparently, the options of bad writing, convoluted plots, and poorly conceived advertising are not viable, and the only way to make sure a movie of his never bombs again is to make sure the leads are always sans boobs and vagina.

Movies with male leads bomb all the time, but Robinov doesn’t care about that obvious fact, nor does he seem to remember the fantastic success of Mean Girls, The Devil Wears Prada, Erin Brockovich, or anything helmed by the Olsen Twins.

Do women often headline films by themselves? No. But it’s not because they don’t have the same drawing power as men, it’s because chauvinists like Robinov are given the ability to “no longer do movies” in which the star is a female.

Men have controlled Hollywood for decades, and every time a guy utters something as disgusting as Robinov’s words and is not challenged, the male hold only increases.

If a movie is rotten, it really doesn’t matter who’s in the lead.

Nobody could have saved I Know Who Killed Me—and that’s a fact.

Although nothing like the aforementioned methods are on the market yet, scientists are busily researching ways to make men more active in pregnancy prevention.

At the second annual “Future of Male Contraception” conference held in Seattle this week (seriously, they have those?) sponsors such as the National Institute of Health and World Health Organization eagerly watched as new guy-based contraception inventions were unveiled.

Some of the new developments revealed were:

• The Intra Vas Device, “a set of removable plugs [which] block sperm in the vas deferens, the tube that’s cut in a vasectomy”.

Oh, I’m sure the guys will be lining up for this little procedure! Plugging up tubes in the body doesn’t sound comfortable, either. It kinda sounds like your balls would be constipated, no? Lovely, I’m sure.

• SARM (Selective Androgen receptor modulator), a “Testosterone-like pill” recently used as a muscle-wasting treatment that may also lower sperm count.

Awesome! So basically this is going to turn your man into a testicle-less non-man? Please tell me no.

• CDB-4022, a non-hormonal pill that “prevents monkey sperm from swimming to it’s destination”.

How do you confuse sperm, by the way? And, um, you all noticed it said monkey sperm, right?

None of these products have had sufficient testing, but researchers are confidentially moving forward.

No word yet on how the male population feels about allowing muscle-wasting treatments and sperm drugging medicine to invade their weewees but at least we may not have to rely on mood ruining pills forever (or until we want to pop out a few).