Question for Tuffy Luv? Ask TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com.

Dear Tuffy Luv,
I’m quite upset that I have to write to you again, but you gave such great advice last time that I would love hear from you again. I’m the short-skirted floozy who wrote to you about a month ago, and unfortunately, the situation has NOT improved. I’ve been following your advice – I wear my conservative clothes to her house, and even wear bike shorts under my dresses and skirts. I attend all the family functions to which I’m invited and spend quality time with the whole family when I’m at his house instead of hiding out in his room. We even made them dinner and dessert one night!

Recently, the boyfriend and I went on several weekend trips, which, given that he’s 19, shouldn’t be a huge deal. Momma wasn’t pleased with the idea, but she eventually gave in and let it go. We figured that maybe she was finally realizing that he’s growing up and away, like all children are supposed to. However, with back-to-school looming, the leash is getting shorter and shorter.

It all started the other night: His whole family was at a family friend’s house. Momma got a little tipsy and started spouting off about “bitches who steal sons away from their parents and never let them talk to them again.” She said she wished she had a daughter (she has two sons, BF is the older) because “a daughter is a daughter for life, a son is a son until he chooses a wife” and how “girlfriends never realize that it’s the mother who raised them and she just gets to reap the benefits.” This was all in front of me; I was sitting right next to her at the table. It all seemed quite pointed, given that I’m BF’s first girlfriend and his younger brother has yet to have one.

Just today, Boyfriend let her know that he was going to the mall with me to pick out some new clothes for school. She began to make an issue out of how the clothes we buy together never seem to fit him. The only clothes we have ever bought together are a pair of nice khaki Dockers that are, as far as I can tell, the best fitting pants he has. Then she went on about how I spend money carelessly and make him spend more that he should. His father asked him why he couldn’t just go shopping with his mother, and he responded by asking why he couldn’t just go with me. His dad said “Because your mother is paying” and BF responded “Well, then I can just pay.” He told them we had dinner plans and he had to leave. When we got back tonight, he told her he didn’t buy anything, just tried things on, because we could get better discounts online. She asked where he was buying from, and he told her American Eagle. She’s strictly a Kohl’s/Walmart person. She rolled her eyes and said something about how it was too expensive, especially with shipping. I let her know that they had a  promotion where if you spent $75+ you got free shipping, that the clothes were buy 1 get 1 half off, and we had a 20% off coupon on top of it. She just responded “And what can you get for $75 from there? Jean and a T-shirt? I want to see these clothes before you order them.” (Yes, really.) Read More »

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Dear Tuffy Love,
I’ve been dating my current boyfriend for about a year and a half now. His mom and I have had a good, but sometimes strained, relationship. She has some resentment towards me for “taking her baby away”; you know, the usual mom-problems.

Yesterday, my boyfriend’s dad pulled him aside and said he noticed that I sometimes wear “very short skirts” and asked my boyfriend “what his opinion on it was.” My boyfriend told him that he hadn’t noticed and didn’t have an opinion. He asked his dad why he was asking and his dad said that he didn’t notice but his mother had said something about it.

While I do dress stylishly, I never dress inappropriately. Besides that fact, it’s summer. It’s 80-90 degrees out. Really? Even then, I’m not one to show off my junk like that, and I always make sure my skirts cover me appropriately. Besides that, the few times I have worn skirts that wouldn’t exactly be appropriate for church, I always balance them with a cardigan or more conservative top. They aren’t a religious family or even very conservative, so I don’t know what gives.

Is it just that his mom is jealous? She’s a pretty big woman and wears almost exclusively Walmart clothes (not very flattering or stylish), and she used to have a nice body. Is she just upset that I dress nicely and she can’t wear short skirts anymore (she’s in her fifties)?

I don’t really know how to handle this situation, but I feel really insulted. Besides that, I feel really embarrassed. I’m always careful with what I wear and I can’t even imagine offending anyone with how I dress. Is it just that no one is going to be good enough for her baby, or is this something I should really be worried about?

Help me please!

Love,
The Short-skirted Floozy Read More »

No one wants to share their boyfriend with another woman, and that can only be more true when the other woman is Mommy Dearest. It’s one thing to bitch when she’s calling YOUR cell phone to see how her son with a cold is holding up since an hour ago (true story), but what do you do when she’s not calling your cell phone… but calling your name from down the stairs?

My boyfriend and I met at college and graduated together a month ago. He has been fortunate enough to be gainfully employed for the last two weeks, and I’m still on the search myself (wink wink employers – I’m a writer) for something in New York City. And while I’m waiting for everything to magically fall into place with a job and a move to the city where Alicia Keys says there’s nothing I can’t do, there’s a lot I can’t do while I’m crashing at my BF’s parent’s house… in lovely New Jersey, seeing as how the homeless haven’t been welcome in NYC for quite some time.

Now don’t get me wrong, his parents are extremely generous, kind, loving people who treat me as one of their own, which, let’s be honest, would make me my boyfriend’s sister.  If that’s not weird enough, he’s an only child. Just imagine the attachment when a stay-at-home mom has her only child back in the house after a four-year hiatus. It’s borderline Oedipus-creepy.

From my perspective, it’s a mood-kill to say the least. Coming from our own apartment and having lived together for a couple years, it’s not easy having to share our relationship with his parents all of a sudden. And while the temporarily living situation does have its bonuses (they buy us food and have a dishwasher!) I can’t get over that when my boyfriend walks in the door from a long day of work, it’s a race to see who gets out the first “Hi honey!” Read More »

Yeah, it's cute back then, but what about when that kid is 18? Still cute?

Okay, so we all know the mantra you can tell how a guy will treat you by the way he treats his mom. Does he take care of her? Open doors for her? Help out around the house? Check, check aaaand check – you have husband material on your hands.

But last night while I was studying and making snowflake chains (I wish I was kidding…I’m desperate for some holiday cheer over here), I happened to flip on the season finale of Top Chef (no, I haven’t watched one episode this season but I still couldn’t look away) and witness a level of motherly love that I’m just not sure I’m comfortable with.

That’s right, I’m talking a fully grown and bearded man going in for a full contact, lip on lip kiss. With his mama.

WTF?! Since when is this socially acceptable? It’s cute when a 2-year-old smooches his mother’s lips, but a grown man planting a wet one on his mom’s mouth is more than I can handle. And I’m convinced this is why Chef Kevin wasn’t named Top Chef; no matter how good his food is, no one has an appetite after witnessing that display.

The whole thing got me thinking (while the other two chefs’ food got my stomach growling): How close it too close? And at what point does a guy’s relationship with his mom send you running for the hills? I don’t know about you, but  I’m just not comfortable walking into Christmas dinner with my boyfriend and having him smooch his mom as we enter.

What do you guys think? Is it no big deal or are you totally skeeved out?

If it’s one thing we’ve learned here at CC, it’s that all people are fascinating (Yes, even your econ professor). Let’s face it – people love to glimpse into the lives of other people. Disagree? Then please explain why you’re currently looking at your friend’s brother’s girlfriend’s cousin’s photos on Facebook. Or reading about the latest Lauren/Heidi dramz in this weeks’ tabloids. Yeah we thought so.

Fact is we connect to others by learning about them. And everyone has something to share (even if it is a story about that one time they had a little accident at Burger King…)

So to give you yet another reason to procrastinate, we started ‘The Five Questions We Ask Everyone’ (and 5 we ask just them) because we know whether we’re schmoozing with an A- list celeb or your local bartender, you’ll be equally entertained.

CC: What is the most trouble you’ve ever gotten into?

Brody: The most trouble I’ve ever gotten into was probably when I got a D.U.I., and that was when I was 17 years old. But it was the most amazing thing that’s ever happened to me because I learned an incredible lesson from it. I had two friends with me when I got it, and, you know, obviously the best thing that could happen out of that situation was to get a D.U.I. and not injure my friends.

CC:    What are five things you can’t live without?

Brody:    Well, my car and a place to live. Friends; like really good, honest, and truthful friends. You need to have them to bring you back down to earth and slap you around a little bit. I’m a big momma’s boy, so definitely my mom.  And I can’t live without not being able to get away.  If I was just stuck in L.A. and I couldn’t leave, I would go crazy.

CC:    What is your personal motto or something that you live by?

Brody:    My saying is always, “Don’t take yourself too serious, because the moment you do, other people don’t.”  So I live by that. I love joking around, as you can see on Bromance.

Read More »

Ah my dream guy, he is tall, dark, handsome, sweet, sincere, funny, and the list goes on until he is well, perfect. (Note: Not the guy to the right.)

I know, I know, there is no such thing as the “perfect” guy (so says my mother) but there is nothing wrong with having a list of qualities (doesn’t pick his nose, even when I am not looking, will rub my shoulders at the snap of my fingers) that I want in a potential boyfriend right? Right.

But after reading this article in the NYT, I have started to realize that while focusing so much on the type of guy I DO want (Has Jake Gyllenhaal broken up with Reese yet?!) perhaps I haven’t realized that there are certain types I DON’T. Things that maybe weren’t even a blip on my guy-dar and if not heeded could end up blowing up in my face.

So here it is ladies: The Guys Not Worth Taking, Dating, Marrying and the like:

Never date a dude who has no friends. At first, this rule seems a bit odd- if he has no friends, he will be close to me and only me! How wonderfully fantastic!! That is until you realize… no friends means the guy is unable to be intimate or close to anyone… yes, even you.

Besides, that means you will always feel guilty leaving him alone and friendless on a girls night out. Read More »

In response to yesterday’s list of 13 Truths About Women, we weren’t sure what to do. Do we respond to their “truths”? Maybe give them a little real information on women, instead of that bullsh*t they came up with?Or, do we go ahead and enlighten the world with some truths about men? Things we know to be true and think everyone should know when dealing with these….creatures.

We went with the latter. So, here they are: 13 Truths About Men That They Will Lie About Until They Die, But We Are Insightful Enough to Figure Out No Matter How Much They Deny:

(We must note, however, that, unlike men, we realize that all these truths can’t possible apply to all men. But they do show up, in some combination, in every single one.)

1. Sex Is Always a Top Priority: Guys often will try to make women believe that they are sensitive and don’t care about sex (“I want to talk!”), but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Sex is always number 1. Over sports. Over work. Over you. Over your relationship when he is in another city and a cute girl starts talking to him. Over his family. Over his health. If sex is an option, he will be taking it. And if sex is an option without a condom, he will be taking it in the 2.5 seconds it takes to rip your clothes off. No time to consider the repercussions, because those don’t matter when he can do it without the burden of a condom! Read More »